Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

captain2obvious

Search for a member

captain2obvious

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 26 November 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 1673
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About captain2obvious : "What is today?" "It's tomorrows yesterday".

captain2obvious's page activity

Visits<b>Ugi</b> - the 04/24/2012 at 9:16am<b>WCARlover</b> - the 03/30/2012 at 7:48pm<b>soulofnature</b> - the 12/13/2011 at 10:24pm<b>lmc94</b> - the 10/23/2011 at 6:51pm<b>sexxme</b> - the 10/09/2011 at 10:34am<b>ikickgingers</b> - the 10/05/2011 at 8:24pm<b>mein_blut69</b> - the 09/30/2011 at 10:53am<b>Fultonsoccer7</b> - the 09/25/2011 at 5:37pm<b>fthislyfe</b> - the 09/22/2011 at 4:59am<b>erpaderp</b> - the 09/19/2011 at 12:21am<b>perdix</b> - the 09/14/2011 at 5:48pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:03pm<b>KiddNYC1O</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 5:44pm<b>E_ve</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 2:53am<b>THE_A_TEEN</b> - the 09/09/2011 at 1:59am<b>Iamnotmyself</b> - the 08/31/2011 at 10:13pm<b>Nikelopez</b> - the 08/18/2011 at 5:20pm<b>haiu2323</b> - the 08/17/2011 at 9:22am

captain2obvious's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of captain2obvious's badges

captain2obvious's favorite FMLs

Today, I got into a pretty heated argument with my boss. On my way out the door I told him he would be lucky if I came back to work. Unfortunately, I left the interior light on in my truck and it drained the battery. I had to go back in and ask for a jump. FML

#18043199
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10374) - you deserved it (31502)

On 10/22/2011 at 12:55am - work - by bob - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to the store with my girlfriend. She needed to use the bathroom so I started looking at the books. It wasn't until the manager shot me a weird look that I realized I'd wandered down too far and was looking at bridal magazines, holding tampons, dog treats, and hair spray. FML

#18036451
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23912) - you deserved it (4335)

On 10/21/2011 at 1:42am - animals - by Dv0829 - United States (Utah)

Today, I called my boyfriend to see if he wanted to come over to my house. He said he couldn't because he was out of town. That would have be perfectly acceptable, if I hadn't called him on his house phone. FML

#18032391
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34841) - you deserved it (2949)

On 10/20/2011 at 5:18pm - love - by cmd102 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, after getting dumped by my boyfriend, I tried to find comfort in one of my closest friends. He embraced me while I struggled against tears, and after a few moments of silence said, "Hey, you know what? I would fuck you anytime. Anytime." FML

#17973250
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33968) - you deserved it (9279)

On 10/13/2011 at 3:19am - intimacy - by scewable (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was late for work. Trying to cut a few seconds off the clock, I tried to open my breakfast candy bar while taking a piss. I ended up pissing all over myself and dropping the bar in the toilet. FML

#17960824
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8899) - you deserved it (36585)

On 10/11/2011 at 4:53pm - misc - by Massasam - United States

Today, I brought my boyfriend over to meet the family. After several long moments of silence, one of my sisters burst out laughing, and asked, "Okay, who is this guy really?" FML

#17954133
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26187) - you deserved it (2607)

On 10/10/2011 at 7:16pm - love - by octoberrain - United States (Ohio)

Today, I lent my sister $1000 because she and her husband were in some debt. They used the money to go gambling in Vegas and won a major jackpot. They won't even give me a cut. FML

#17948553
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35468) - you deserved it (5818)

On 10/10/2011 at 12:04am - money - by cc - United States (Montana)

Today, a highly intoxicated man came into my workplace and complained that the medicine that I'd prescribed for his dog almost choked him. I work at Blockbuster. FML

#17948173
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27354) - you deserved it (2198)

On 10/09/2011 at 11:30pm - work - by Username - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me for the first time. He stopped just as I was about to orgasm, and asked if I could finish by myself. Apparently he'd come up with a new algorithm for the Rubik's Cube on my desk and wanted to try it out. FML

#17892959
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36803) - you deserved it (4125)

On 10/03/2011 at 12:38am - intimacy - by Kayt (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I lost my watch at the pool. After giving a detailed description of it at the desk, I was really happy to hear someone had found it and handed it in. Too bad I was too late, because someone had already claimed it. FML

#17869528
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22943) - you deserved it (2162)

On 09/30/2011 at 7:10am - misc - by happymum - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I had a car accident. In the same place, at the same time, and with the same friend in the passenger seat as last week. FML

#17869436
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23364) - you deserved it (10530)

On 09/30/2011 at 6:18am - misc - by Steve (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my parents asked me if I would dog-sit for them while they go to my ex's wedding. FML

#17864370
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31077) - you deserved it (2508)

On 09/29/2011 at 4:14pm - misc - by littlepsychgirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend changed her relationship status on Facebook to 'It's Complicated' because I didn't give her my last cookie. This happens all the time. FML

#17859546
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30392) - you deserved it (11353)

On 09/28/2011 at 10:28pm - love - by danthecomplicate - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my boyfriend preferred to delete his account than admit we are in a relationship on Facebook. FML

#17834282
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29109) - you deserved it (5132)

On 09/25/2011 at 9:52pm - love - by lexyloo - United States (Florida)

Today, I walked in on my daughter trying to tan herself with her regular desk lamp. She won't believe that it wouldn't give her a tan. She's 16 years old. This isn't the first time this has happened. FML

#17786213
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29729) - you deserved it (4686)

On 09/20/2011 at 3:24am - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)



FML's blog

  • Malec's illustrated FML
  • Life is like a box of chocolate full of piece of rabbit droppings sometimes, isn't it? OK, I'll admit that's a weird way to start an article a few days before Christmas. Let me explain: you try and get…

Friday 12 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: