About captain2obvious : "What is today?" "It's tomorrows yesterday".
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captain2obvious's favorite FMLs
by Rash / 12/06/2011 at 11:54am / United States (New York) / Animals
by Anonymous / 12/06/2011 at 1:45am / United Kingdom (London) / Intimacy
by lifesucksbigtimefuys / 12/04/2011 at 3:36am / United Kingdom (Devon) / Love
Today, I was having a rough day and decided to go out for a walk at 1 a.m. to clear my head. I ended up being driven home by two cops, who thought I was prostituting myself at the truck stop. When we arrived, they had a nice conversation with my parents. FML
by D / 12/04/2011 at 2:46am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
Today, I played Taboo with my boyfriend and my conservative family. It was my boyfriend's turn and his word was "cherry". His only clue to me was, "I popped your..." He was the only one who found it funny. FML
by Anonymous / 12/04/2011 at 12:44am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by religionbites621 / 11/22/2011 at 12:18pm / United States (Tennessee) / Transportation
by me / 11/04/2011 at 12:38am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by KayleeXLoVe21 / 11/03/2011 at 7:48pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by peonypiney / 11/03/2011 at 3:32pm / United States (Florida) / Kids
Today, while I was shopping, I saw my old friend from high school. After a bit of talking, I ended up giving her my phone number. I wrote it on an old receipt. Little did I remember, the receipt was from when I bought lube and condoms. FML
by snownerd / 11/03/2011 at 12:13pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
by ifeeldirty / 10/27/2011 at 8:22am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
Today, I was getting intimate with my husband on our anniversary day. He climbed on top of me and firmly placed his penis on my nose. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he burst into laughter and said I looked just like Squidward. FML
by Anonymous / 10/26/2011 at 7:44pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
Today, I was giving a PowerPoint presentation in class. When I put my flash drive into the computer, my folder opened up and a nude picture of myself popped right up on a 110 inch projector screen for all 35 students to see. This is a 16 week course. FML
by jaymash / 10/22/2011 at 9:25am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
by titoutou222 / 10/22/2011 at 8:40am / France / Kids
Today, I was relaxing at home while my boyfriend played with his hamster. After a while of silence, my boyfriend came over and put his fingers next to my face. Trying to be cute, I stuck his fingers in my mouth and sucked on them. Turns out he was trying to show me how bad hamster pee smells. FML
by Anonymous / 10/22/2011 at 2:10am / United States (Texas) / Love
- Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex in a rarely used room at school. We got carried away and… Today, my mom walked in on me masturbating. I minimized the porn on my laptop so she wouldn't see I… Today, I was talking with this cute guy. I mentioned the fact that I'm single. His response, "It'd…