captain2obvious

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captain2obvious

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 26 November 1992 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 2612
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About captain2obvious : "What is today?" "It's tomorrows yesterday".

captain2obvious's page activity

Visits<b>Ugi</b> - the 04/24/2012 at 9:16am<b>WCARlover</b> - the 03/30/2012 at 7:48pm<b>soulofnature</b> - the 12/13/2011 at 10:24pm<b>lmc94</b> - the 10/23/2011 at 6:51pm<b>sexxme</b> - the 10/09/2011 at 10:34am<b>ikickgingers</b> - the 10/05/2011 at 8:24pm<b>mein_blut69</b> - the 09/30/2011 at 10:53am<b>Fultonsoccer7</b> - the 09/25/2011 at 5:37pm<b>fthislyfe</b> - the 09/22/2011 at 4:59am<b>erpaderp</b> - the 09/19/2011 at 12:21am<b>perdix</b> - the 09/14/2011 at 5:48pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:03pm<b>KiddNYC1O</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 5:44pm<b>E_ve</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 2:53am<b>THE_A_TEEN</b> - the 09/09/2011 at 1:59am<b>Iamnotmyself</b> - the 08/31/2011 at 10:13pm<b>Nikelopez</b> - the 08/18/2011 at 5:20pm<b>haiu2323</b> - the 08/17/2011 at 9:22am

captain2obvious's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of captain2obvious's badges

captain2obvious's favorite FMLs

Today, I got kicked in the crotch by a horse in my backyard. I don't own a horse. FML

by Rash / 12/06/2011 at 11:54am / United States (New York) / Animals

Today, I found that when a hot girl asks you whether you have a girlfriend, saying, "I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one" is not the best way to proceed. FML

by Anonymous / 12/06/2011 at 1:45am / United Kingdom (London) / Intimacy

Today, the girl I've had a crush on for years asked if I could be her "emergency gay friend". Worst part? I said yes. FML

by lifesucksbigtimefuys / 12/04/2011 at 3:36am / United Kingdom (Devon) / Love

Today, I was having a rough day and decided to go out for a walk at 1 a.m. to clear my head. I ended up being driven home by two cops, who thought I was prostituting myself at the truck stop. When we arrived, they had a nice conversation with my parents. FML

by D / 12/04/2011 at 2:46am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, I played Taboo with my boyfriend and my conservative family. It was my boyfriend's turn and his word was "cherry". His only clue to me was, "I popped your..." He was the only one who found it funny. FML

by Anonymous / 12/04/2011 at 12:44am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I found Jesus. The bad news, he was in the form of a concrete statue falling on my car. FML

by religionbites621 / 11/22/2011 at 12:18pm / United States (Tennessee) / Transportation

Today, I sent my grandma a naked picture instead of my girlfriend. While attempting to delete it, I sent it again. FML

by me / 11/04/2011 at 12:38am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. The lights kept on going on and off. Why? The lights are activated by "clap on, clap off." It killed the mood. FML

by KayleeXLoVe21 / 11/03/2011 at 7:48pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I spent over 20 minutes trying to convince my daughter that the word she was trying to use was "Back-pack" and not "Back-back". I never convinced her. She is 16 years old. FML

by peonypiney / 11/03/2011 at 3:32pm / United States (Florida) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while I was shopping, I saw my old friend from high school. After a bit of talking, I ended up giving her my phone number. I wrote it on an old receipt. Little did I remember, the receipt was from when I bought lube and condoms. FML

by snownerd / 11/03/2011 at 12:13pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, my dad walked in on me and my girlfriend having sex. His only reaction was to mutter, "Put some back into it, son." before awkwardly sidling out. FML

by ifeeldirty / 10/27/2011 at 8:22am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, I was getting intimate with my husband on our anniversary day. He climbed on top of me and firmly placed his penis on my nose. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he burst into laughter and said I looked just like Squidward. FML

by Anonymous / 10/26/2011 at 7:44pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I was giving a PowerPoint presentation in class. When I put my flash drive into the computer, my folder opened up and a nude picture of myself popped right up on a 110 inch projector screen for all 35 students to see. This is a 16 week course. FML

by jaymash / 10/22/2011 at 9:25am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, my five-year-old daughter came home from school. It was cold and she was very tired. I said, "Take off your socks and blow your nose." She took off her socks and blew her nose into them. FML

by titoutou222 / 10/22/2011 at 8:40am / France / Kids

Today, I was relaxing at home while my boyfriend played with his hamster. After a while of silence, my boyfriend came over and put his fingers next to my face. Trying to be cute, I stuck his fingers in my mouth and sucked on them. Turns out he was trying to show me how bad hamster pee smells. FML

by Anonymous / 10/22/2011 at 2:10am / United States (Texas) / Love