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capslockisgood

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capslockisgood

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 956
  • Number of comments : 376
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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capslockisgood's favorite FMLs

Today, what started as a fun family Easter egg hunt turned within minutes into my mother-in-law's big chance to be a dramatic cow by screaming at my 5 and 7-year-old daughters for participating in a "vile pagan ritual" and saying that we're all going to hell. They're still bawling. FML

#20568650
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35193) - you deserved it (2325)

On 03/31/2013 at 4:34pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML

#20565796
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37368) - you deserved it (8389)

On 03/29/2013 at 5:36pm - love - by sarajj (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was violently throwing up due to severe morning sickness. My boyfriend looked at me, then turned and walked away. In the end, my daughter gave me some paper towel and her juice. My 18-month-old is more supportive of my pregnancy than her 30-year-old father. FML

#20562509
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37783) - you deserved it (5534)

On 03/27/2013 at 3:34pm - misc - by InfamousLastWord (woman) - United States

Today, my husband showed up late to my mother's funeral. He swaggered in, happily finishing off a half-eaten taco. His excuse for why he was so cheerful: "She was an in-law, honey." Good to know I married a piece of shit in disguise. FML

#20556485
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39583) - you deserved it (4934)

On 03/23/2013 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I sneezed. My boyfriend told me to shut up. FML

#20555936
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35295) - you deserved it (8969)

On 03/23/2013 at 1:44am - love - by SierraDiaz2097 - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I finally got the courage to tell the girl I like how I really feel about her, due in no small part to how flirty she's been towards me lately. Turns out she's really just a skank and was trying to make my best friend "jealous". He's gay. FML

#20553905
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36413) - you deserved it (3645)

On 03/21/2013 at 4:43pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, there was a new girl in one of my classes. We both corrected a classmate on his grammar, so, trying to make a new friend, I leaned back to her and said, "Haha, fellow Grammar Nazi?" She gave me a disgusted look and told me she was Jewish. FML

#20553379
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37855) - you deserved it (19409)

On 03/21/2013 at 6:43am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, a technician from my ISP came to my house to replace my router. He asked for a glass of water, one thing led to another, and for some reason I'll never fully understand, we ended up having sex. Looks like porn logic is not so far off the mark after all. FML

#20537010
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20542) - you deserved it (59996)

On 03/09/2013 at 1:50pm - intimacy - by je_regrette_tout (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, one of my elderly swimming students ran into me at Walmart. Being a polite teenager, I said hi to him. He looked at me surprised and said, "Oh dear! I didn't recognize you with your clothes on!" I'll never forget the look on his wife's face. FML

#20536627
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37297) - you deserved it (2864)

On 03/09/2013 at 2:02am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, while mopping floors at the police station, an inmate pissed on the floor, demanded that I suck his dick, begged me for a glass of water and finally informed me that he would kill my family. I said nothing and he started weeping softly. I laughed, but slipped in his piss and broke my arm. FML

#20529783
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37762) - you deserved it (12656)

On 03/03/2013 at 5:21pm - work - by JimmyT (man) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, I was awkwardly taking a dump at work, when a coworker in another stall started talking shit to me about our boss. I grunted and agreed, hoping he'd shut up and leave me alone. That's when a third guy sarcastically chimed in with insults from a third stall. It was our boss. FML

#20529455
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30038) - you deserved it (9871)

On 03/03/2013 at 1:03pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, I was in bed when I rolled over and saw a hand right beside my head. I freaked out and nearly peed myself, just to realize that it was the huggable heart pillow my boyfriend had given to me on Valentine's Day. FML

#20524057
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11811) - you deserved it (20586)

On 02/27/2013 at 2:59am - misc - by girlymae (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I waited over 30 minutes in freezing cold weather for my bus. When it finally arrived, I went to get on board, but slipped and fell on the icy ground. The driver waited a whole 2 seconds before snorting, "Ain't nobody got time for this shit", closing the doors, and driving off. FML

#20476700
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38852) - you deserved it (2805)

On 01/24/2013 at 4:25pm - misc - by frozensolid (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try some "prolonging gel" to help him last longer between the sheets. Surprisingly, it worked, and he lasted 3 times longer than usual. I can now enjoy 4 whole minutes of sex. FML

#20452996
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45276) - you deserved it (5985)

On 01/11/2013 at 12:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, while at work, a Beatles song came on the radio. I jokingly said, "These guys are pretty good, are they new?" Everyone thought I was being serious, and now they're convinced I'm an idiot. FML

#20446711
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15939) - you deserved it (32079)

On 01/07/2013 at 7:58pm - misc - by EffUrEll - Canada (Ontario)



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