Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

capslockisgood

Offline (7 minutes ago) | Search for a member

capslockisgood

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 744
  • Number of comments : 370
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

capslockisgood's page activity

Visits<b>cwrocker</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 10:15am<b>Mindset</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 12:42am<b>gmc_blossom</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 1:40am<b>WolliBolli</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 1:23am<b>oxythemoron</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 3:01am<b>PickledSweets</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 5:09pm<b>teotsi</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 12:25pm<b>leeebeeeee18</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 10:32am<b>Ghost_Kaulitz</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 3:46pm<b>Oihana</b> - the 06/10/2014 at 6:22pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 05/20/2014 at 11:28pm<b>Demig0d6</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 2:11pm<b>BigJoeZD</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 2:00pm<b>ThaReaper319</b> - the 05/09/2014 at 10:25pm<b>2ophiia</b> - the 05/09/2014 at 8:01pm<b>kansah</b> - the 05/02/2014 at 6:04pm<b>curticus</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 6:22pm<b>captenawesome</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 6:32pm

capslockisgood's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of capslockisgood's badges

capslockisgood's favorite FMLs

Today, there was a new girl in one of my classes. We both corrected a classmate on his grammar, so, trying to make a new friend, I leaned back to her and said, "Haha, fellow Grammar Nazi?" She gave me a disgusted look and told me she was Jewish. FML

#20553379
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37743) - you deserved it (19368)

On 03/21/2013 at 6:43am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, a technician from my ISP came to my house to replace my router. He asked for a glass of water, one thing led to another, and for some reason I'll never fully understand, we ended up having sex. Looks like porn logic is not so far off the mark after all. FML

#20537010
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20472) - you deserved it (59842)

On 03/09/2013 at 1:50pm - intimacy - by je_regrette_tout (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, one of my elderly swimming students ran into me at Walmart. Being a polite teenager, I said hi to him. He looked at me surprised and said, "Oh dear! I didn't recognize you with your clothes on!" I'll never forget the look on his wife's face. FML

#20536627
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37170) - you deserved it (2852)

On 03/09/2013 at 2:02am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, while mopping floors at the police station, an inmate pissed on the floor, demanded that I suck his dick, begged me for a glass of water and finally informed me that he would kill my family. I said nothing and he started weeping softly. I laughed, but slipped in his piss and broke my arm. FML

#20529783
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36989) - you deserved it (12408)

On 03/03/2013 at 5:21pm - work - by JimmyT (man) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, I was awkwardly taking a dump at work, when a coworker in another stall started talking shit to me about our boss. I grunted and agreed, hoping he'd shut up and leave me alone. That's when a third guy sarcastically chimed in with insults from a third stall. It was our boss. FML

#20529455
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29958) - you deserved it (9857)

On 03/03/2013 at 1:03pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, I was in bed when I rolled over and saw a hand right beside my head. I freaked out and nearly peed myself, just to realize that it was the huggable heart pillow my boyfriend had given to me on Valentine's Day. FML

#20524057
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11781) - you deserved it (20528)

On 02/27/2013 at 2:59am - misc - by girlymae (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I waited over 30 minutes in freezing cold weather for my bus. When it finally arrived, I went to get on board, but slipped and fell on the icy ground. The driver waited a whole 2 seconds before snorting, "Ain't nobody got time for this shit", closing the doors, and driving off. FML

#20476700
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38755) - you deserved it (2795)

On 01/24/2013 at 4:25pm - misc - by frozensolid (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try some "prolonging gel" to help him last longer between the sheets. Surprisingly, it worked, and he lasted 3 times longer than usual. I can now enjoy 4 whole minutes of sex. FML

#20452996
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45123) - you deserved it (5976)

On 01/11/2013 at 12:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, while at work, a Beatles song came on the radio. I jokingly said, "These guys are pretty good, are they new?" Everyone thought I was being serious, and now they're convinced I'm an idiot. FML

#20446711
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15878) - you deserved it (32006)

On 01/07/2013 at 7:58pm - misc - by EffUrEll - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my fiancé decided he wants a baby only because our dog is good, quiet, and falls asleep as soon as he starts to cradle her. He thinks a baby will be just like that. FML

#20445378
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22001) - you deserved it (2322)

On 01/06/2013 at 8:49pm - animals - by Twiggysucks68 (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, while out hiking, my phone slipped out of my pocket. I caught it and gave it to my little cousin, giving her a "special mission" to keep it safe. When we got back to our cars later, I asked her for my phone back. Turns out she left it under a shrub back in the hills so it'd be "safe." FML

#20445287
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9709) - you deserved it (33199)

On 01/06/2013 at 7:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I was visiting my daughter, whose husband was still asleep at noon. I made a point of stomping around on the hardwood floor and speaking loudly to wake his lazy ass up. Turns out he's now working a 14-hour graveyard shift, and it has no negative effect on his shoe-throwing skills. FML

#20193830
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5097) - you deserved it (73560)

On 12/06/2012 at 2:23pm - misc - by mom (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, my friends and I were playing truth or dare game. It was late and we were drunk, so they dared me to run naked into my neighbor's yard while yelling, "Help! The pixies took my penis!" I ran screaming right into their big family reunion. FML

#20172584
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7301) - you deserved it (32229)

On 11/21/2012 at 4:06pm - misc - by nekkidness (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, a woman on the train demanded I give up my seat for her, claiming it was for people with disabilities. Tired from a long day at work, and seeing she had nothing wrong with her, I asked what her disability was. Apparently, obesity is one. FML

#20152323
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28420) - you deserved it (1900)

On 11/07/2012 at 12:58am - misc - by NotAnExcuse (woman) - United States

Today, I went out for a few drinks with some friends. All night, I kept smiling and showing off my newly brace-free teeth. Later on, one of my friends drunkly asked, "Why does she keep smiling? Her teeth are fucking jacked." FML

#20122439
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21013) - you deserved it (2584)

On 10/18/2012 at 12:26pm - health - by murp (woman) - Canada (Alberta)



FML's blog

  • Jim Trim's Illustrated FML
  • Action stations! I'm back from my holiday, I've got some sort of weirdly uneven tan and I already want to go back to the beach to bum about and finish off my colouring book. But I can't. I'm still…

Friday 29 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: