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capslockisgood's favorite FMLs
by peacechick71 / 09/22/2013 at 7:30pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/31/2013 at 12:49pm / United States (California) / Love
by bri_sci94 / 07/23/2013 at 4:27pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids
Today, while arguing with my newly ex-girlfriend over how she cheated on me with a mutual friend, she tried to wash her hands of any guilt, saying that I was "selfish" and "just slut-shaming, really". FML
by Anonymous / 07/21/2013 at 5:49pm / Canada (Alberta) / Love
by cristy91 / 07/10/2013 at 12:01am / United States (Florida) / Love
Today, my husband and I threw a party with non-alcoholic wine. No one acted wasted, until in the last hour my grandmother started slurring her words and slumping. We thought she was joking, until a doctor at the party confirmed she was having a stroke. FML
by Aggressive / 07/09/2013 at 4:54am / Ireland (Dublin) / Health
Today, I was taking some clothes downstairs to wash, when my mum stopped me. She accused me of sleeping around and trying to hide something, since she did the washing yesterday. She made me admit in front of the whole family that I'd been "surprised" by a case of diarrhea. FML
by ToiletTroubles / 07/03/2013 at 12:19pm / United Kingdom / Health
Today, my daughter had ice cream while I was napping. She didn't want me to know so she put the bowl in the trashcan and put the spoon in the garbage disposal and turned it on, because she thought it would make the spoon disappear. FML
by cherbear1000 / 06/17/2013 at 12:33am / United States (Maryland) / Kids
by funnygirl018 / 05/28/2013 at 6:14pm / United States / Work
Today, my parents threatened to kick me out of the house if I didn't agree to convert to their new brand of Christianity. This is a day after they ranted at me about how I should speak my mind more and not let myself be controlled by other people. FML
by Anonymous / 04/28/2013 at 4:19pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by nottoosmall / 04/03/2013 at 12:57pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/02/2013 at 3:24am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work
by madiison09 / 04/01/2013 at 1:46pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was babysitting, and after the kids fell asleep I started hiding the Easter candy. They woke up when I was half-done, and it didn't take them long to figure out what was going on. They won't stop crying, and every time I go near them, they scream "LIAR!" FML
by Anonymous / 04/01/2013 at 12:02pm / Canada (Alberta) / Kids
by jll14 / 03/31/2013 at 6:27pm / Malaysia (Sabah) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I was masturbating in the dark with the door open. I thought I saw a figure outside my door,… Today, I witnessed my husband in the shower singing Chicago's "You're the Inspiration" to his penis… Today, I took advantage of the fact that my wife was sleeping to watch a porn film on my computer.…