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Offline (the 05/03/2016 at 4:11am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 23 November 1982 (33 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5213
  • Number of comments : 607
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About capnbzarr : Sometimes, there's a man.

capnbzarr's page activity

Visits<b>MoroseMoose</b> - the 10/07/2016 at 2:16am<b>Infamous278</b> - the 09/08/2016 at 10:39pm<b>5t3ff1k4h</b> - the 08/14/2016 at 2:59pm<b>narwhalicious</b> - the 08/08/2016 at 6:55pm<b>AnnaMuffin</b> - the 06/13/2016 at 11:04am<b>katjas</b> - the 06/06/2016 at 9:45pm<b>Dusty_Cups</b> - the 05/26/2016 at 6:10pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 05/15/2016 at 2:17pm<b>demix</b> - the 05/07/2016 at 6:31pm<b>ClaraLYW</b> - the 05/03/2016 at 6:47am<b>jill97</b> - the 03/18/2016 at 11:38am<b>refticon</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 11:10am<b>sabby7</b> - the 03/01/2016 at 12:18pm<b>noah_sutton</b> - the 02/27/2016 at 3:44pm<b>yellow33</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 12:48pm<b>laurenada</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 2:46pm<b>LivToFail</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 11:37am<b>mineller</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 6:40pm

Fucked!<b>HighlandShadows</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 5:02am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 1:17am<b>saraitkddh</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 2:01pm<b>mwali02</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 1:44am<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 3:36am<b>pixie158</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 7:46pm<b>watermelon15</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 2:30pm

capnbzarr's FML badges


You see, sonny boy, moderating FMLs is a bit like running a marathon.

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capnbzarr's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend asked if her friend Alex from high school could join in with us and we could have an amazing threesome. As a horny dude how could I say no? Turns out Alex is also a guys name. FML

by Randy Savage / 02/02/2009 at 11:29am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, my nephew asked me how babies are made. I thought he'd had this chat with his mom, but I went in to it again. After a 20 minute 'discussion', he says "So what about the good stuff - get to the blowjobs and the lesbians." He's 11. FML

by epistaxis / 01/28/2009 at 9:31pm / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy

Today, in class, I asked my teacher for a "rubber". I didn't realise that in America "rubber" doesn't mean "eraser", it means condom. FML

by TheEnglishOne / 01/22/2009 at 7:42pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was hitting on a girl that was getting ready to walk into the same class as I. We were waiting outside the room, and I told her that I heard the Professor for the course was a total bitch. We walked into the room. I sat down in a desk. She stood behind the podium. FML

by footinmouth / 01/21/2009 at 6:15pm / United States (Iowa) / Love

Today, I was having a cybersex chat with a "girl" on a website whilst at work. I noticed my colleague who sits next to me start cracking up with laughter. Turned out it was him I was chatting with and he was winding me up. Worst thing is it had given me a stiffy. FML

by diddlysquat / 01/14/2009 at 3:49am / United Kingdom (Wakefield) / Intimacy

Today, I got together with a small gathering of friends in a bar. I go up to the bar to order something, but with all the music and noise, the barman can't hear what I'm trying to say, so he leans forward, cocking his ear towards me. For some reason, I thought he was being friendly so I kissed him as if we were saying hello to each other. FML

by Ad-s / 01/14/2009 at 12:01am / Miscellaneous

Today, I signed up on one of those "cheater" dating sites. I ended up meeting my own girlfriend. FML

by Lou Czar / 01/07/2009 at 6:56pm / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, I was baby-sitting four rather noisy and rowdy kids. After a two hour struggle, I finally manage to get them into bed. I then ask them what they want before going to sleep, and the eldest replies: "Can you tell us a story where you die at the end?" FML

by Hellau / 12/29/2008 at 5:56am / Kids

Today, I was quietly having a bath when I felt something fall onto my shoulder blade. I glanced over my shoulder and saw what I thought were huge black spider legs. I screamed, completely hysterical, and I threw myself violently against a wall. It was my hair. FML

by noname / 12/26/2008 at 11:07pm / Miscellaneous

Today, feeling romantic and overwhelmed with love, I told my fiancée: "I don't know what I'd do without you." She replied: "Well, you'd wank". FML

by Nicos / 12/25/2008 at 1:07am / Intimacy

Today, my boss asked me "can I give you some constructive criticism?". I said yes. He tells me "Your work is really shit. You have no talent and I can't figure out why I hired you." FML

by crapules / 12/22/2008 at 11:18pm / Work

Today, someone stole both rear view mirrors from my scooter. And where was the police? They were 500m down the road, waiting to stop me for not having any mirrors. FML

by daddy / 12/22/2008 at 12:43am / Money

Today, I had sex with a girl who cried out as she came "Forgive me Lord! Forgive me Lord!" FML

by chicochico / 12/19/2008 at 11:05am / Intimacy

Today, my Art Director once again turned down a demo model (for an advertisement) that I'd been working on for a week. This time he took his belt off and started thrashing the model to pieces. FML

by Fuzy / 12/14/2008 at 10:24pm / Work

Today, I caught my cat humping my dog while he was asleep. I'm sleeping with the door closed from now on. FML

by Black / 12/11/2008 at 10:31pm / Lebanon (Beqaa) / Intimacy