About capnbzarr : Sometimes, there's a man.
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capnbzarr's favorite FMLs
Today, my girlfriend asked if her friend Alex from high school could join in with us and we could have an amazing threesome. As a horny dude how could I say no? Turns out Alex is also a guys name. FML
by Randy Savage / 02/02/2009 at 11:29am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
Today, my nephew asked me how babies are made. I thought he'd had this chat with his mom, but I went in to it again. After a 20 minute 'discussion', he says "So what about the good stuff - get to the blowjobs and the lesbians." He's 11. FML
by epistaxis / 01/28/2009 at 9:31pm / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy
by TheEnglishOne / 01/22/2009 at 7:42pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I was hitting on a girl that was getting ready to walk into the same class as I. We were waiting outside the room, and I told her that I heard the Professor for the course was a total bitch. We walked into the room. I sat down in a desk. She stood behind the podium. FML
by footinmouth / 01/21/2009 at 6:15pm / United States (Iowa) / Love
Today, I was having a cybersex chat with a "girl" on a website whilst at work. I noticed my colleague who sits next to me start cracking up with laughter. Turned out it was him I was chatting with and he was winding me up. Worst thing is it had given me a stiffy. FML
by diddlysquat / 01/14/2009 at 3:49am / United Kingdom (Wakefield) / Intimacy
Today, I got together with a small gathering of friends in a bar. I go up to the bar to order something, but with all the music and noise, the barman can't hear what I'm trying to say, so he leans forward, cocking his ear towards me. For some reason, I thought he was being friendly so I kissed him as if we were saying hello to each other. FML
by Lou Czar / 01/07/2009 at 6:56pm / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy
Today, I was baby-sitting four rather noisy and rowdy kids. After a two hour struggle, I finally manage to get them into bed. I then ask them what they want before going to sleep, and the eldest replies: "Can you tell us a story where you die at the end?" FML
Today, I was quietly having a bath when I felt something fall onto my shoulder blade. I glanced over my shoulder and saw what I thought were huge black spider legs. I screamed, completely hysterical, and I threw myself violently against a wall. It was my hair. FML
by noname / 12/26/2008 at 11:07pm / Miscellaneous
by Black / 12/11/2008 at 10:31pm / Lebanon (Beqaa) / Intimacy
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…
- Today, a sweet old man came knocking. He asked about my elderly neighbor who he has been trying to… Today, I went to a grad school fair. Tuition costs more than I make in a year. I'm thirty. I think… Today, I learned that if a friend ever suggests you sleep with her boyfriend, it's probably because…