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capedcrusader4

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capedcrusader4

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  • Number of visits : 182
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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capedcrusader4's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the beach with my boyfriend and family. My sister coyly pointed out the scratch marks down his back, hoping to embarrass me in front of my parents. The marks weren't from me. FML

#19873995
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28207) - you deserved it (1916)

On 07/01/2012 at 12:22am - love - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I thought about how my dad went to get me a Halloween costume and hasn't come home yet. That was 11 years ago. We've moved twice since then. FML

#19369767
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40133) - you deserved it (2525)

On 03/29/2012 at 12:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got into an argument with my wife over how she spends too much time with her gay best friend. Now she says that if I want to ever get intimate with her again, I'll have to let her watch as I give him a striptease. FML

#18806135
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34211) - you deserved it (9747)

On 01/14/2012 at 2:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, after getting dumped by my boyfriend, I tried to find comfort in one of my closest friends. He embraced me while I struggled against tears, and after a few moments of silence said, "Hey, you know what? I would fuck you anytime. Anytime." FML

#17973250
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33949) - you deserved it (9278)

On 10/13/2011 at 3:19am - intimacy - by scewable (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I peeked through my window and trained a pair of binoculars on my neighbour's house. Every night without fail, he ends up standing in front of his window topless to flex his muscles. This time, I was surprised to instead find a note taped to the window saying, "Sorry, I'm out tonight." FML

#17032745
376 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10466) - you deserved it (75625) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/08/2011 at 8:11pm - love - by Anonyme - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was walking along when I saw this girl kissing her boyfriend. I thought to myself "I wish I had a boyfriend like that". I'm a guy, and straight. At least I thought I was. FML

#15678976
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34432) - you deserved it (13152)

On 04/07/2011 at 11:15am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was sitting beside a very cute girl on a 3 hour bus trip with my class. She fell asleep, head on my lap. She woke up because my erection was jabbing her in the cheek. FML

#15532710
484 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55211) - you deserved it (27694)

On 03/28/2011 at 4:13pm - intimacy - by dickface - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up next to my best friend after lots of drinking and the best sex I've ever had in my life. The only problem is we're both straight males. FML

#15042917
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49367) - you deserved it (41029)

On 02/19/2011 at 4:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was told by my mom that I'm a terrible person because I won't help my brother get a girlfriend. He's gay, but won't tell her because he thinks it's hilarious when she yells at me. FML

#14353774
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34181) - you deserved it (4404)

On 12/27/2010 at 3:39am - misc - by Username -

Today, I was in McDonalds with some friends. When I got up to the register to order, the guy there appeared startled by me, and said, 'Whoa, you're really pretty.' No one has ever said anything like that to me before. When I told my friends, they laughed and said, 'Wow. He must have been drunk.' FML

#13836809
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29764) - you deserved it (3045)

On 11/14/2010 at 2:39am - misc - by ugly (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I found out that my employers hired me under the assumption that I was gay. Apparently, they are attempting to be perceived as more open-minded. I'm not gay, but I'm afraid being straight could cost me my job. FML

#12872316
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32637) - you deserved it (3095)

On 09/02/2010 at 5:09pm - work - by confused (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found out that the guy I like was only coming to my house to get closer to my brother. FML

#12492067
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33138) - you deserved it (3462)

On 08/13/2010 at 1:33am - love - by brother love - United Kingdom

Today, I sprained my ankle while playing soccer. I still have to walk home. In the rain. FML

#7742819
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22621) - you deserved it (3007)

On 01/31/2010 at 12:07pm - health - by snidpea - Sent from mobile version

Today, at a bar, a woman approched me and tried to set me up with her friend. Looking around, the only people in the bar were a man reading the paper and a very ugly woman, looking at me and smiling. I worriedly replied, "I'm sorry, but I'm gay." Turns out her friend was the one reading the paper. FML

#7295909
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10312) - you deserved it (36745)

On 01/12/2010 at 5:26am - love - by awkward23 (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, after months of hardcore flirting with this incredibly attractive guy, he invited me to hang out. At which point he introduced me to his boyfriend. FML

#7239167
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33556) - you deserved it (6852)

On 01/09/2010 at 4:26pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



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