canvasofnight

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canvasofnight

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 2 April 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 9167
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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canvasofnight's page activity

Visits<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/24/2014 at 10:22pm<b>elsie96</b> - the 06/11/2013 at 6:29am<b>Darrus</b> - the 09/21/2009 at 2:14pm<b>erichugh22</b> - the 05/14/2009 at 8:34pm<b>tiger01</b> - the 05/10/2009 at 11:12am<b>hebda</b> - the 04/30/2009 at 3:06am<b>username666</b> - the 04/25/2009 at 10:17pm<b>alex_vik</b> - the 03/16/2009 at 12:05pm<b>MCart</b> - the 02/27/2009 at 12:13am<b>AClife</b> - the 02/13/2009 at 4:46pm<b>daisyree</b> - the 02/01/2009 at 9:13am

canvasofnight's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

canvasofnight's favorite FMLs

Today, I was volunteering at the hospital. This lady was calling the Nurses' Station, and I had to go see what she wanted. When I asked her what she needed, she mumbled something. As I leaned in closer to hear what she was saying, she threw up all over my face. Apparently, she was nauseous. FML

by Anonymous / 04/12/2009 at 3:41pm / United States (New Jersey) / Work

Today, my fiancé's parents visited. I keep chickens for their eggs, and his parents own a farm, so we had a connection. They told us to leave the house while they cooked us dinner. When we returned, we faced two steaming plates of chicken. My chickens. They had names. FML

by lanbon182 / 04/10/2009 at 1:11am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. The TV was on with the volume low, as we had been too preoccupied to turn it off. All of the sudden, my boyfriend stopped mid-thrust. He was watching the TV. House was on. My boyfriend stopped to watch the differential diagnosis. FML

by Anonymous / 04/09/2009 at 3:46pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, while teaching swimming to a bunch of five year olds, one particularly bratty girl decided she didn't want to swim and lead the entire class to strike, leaving the pool empty and me without a job. Apparently I was teaching the next world tyrant to swim. FML

by luh8r / 04/09/2009 at 10:38am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, while working at a Subway store right next to a big hospital, there was a big line of people all getting their subs toasted. Without turning around, I asked the next person in line, "I'll bet you want yours extra toasted?" She was a burns victim from the hospital. FML

by 00Evan / 04/05/2009 at 9:48am / Australia (Queensland) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

by konens_dick / 03/22/2009 at 6:38am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I called the campus police to give me a ride to the cafeteria since I am on crutches from knee surgery. I was only halfway into the car when the man started driving and ran over my foot. Now neither my right knee or my left foot work. FML

by brokenkneechick / 02/07/2009 at 2:26am / United States (Connecticut) / Transportation

Today, my boyfriend handcuffed me to the bed, naked. Someone pulled the fire alarm, and my boyfriend couldn't find the key. So he left me, and the Resident Advisor found me. The fireman had to cut the chain. FML

by hahahehehohohoo / 02/06/2009 at 10:55pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I gave my girlfriend some non-alcoholic beer as a joke. In slurred speech, she told me I have the body of a monk seal. She then took my keys, staggered to my car, and drove away. She crashed into a tree two blocks later. She's fine. FML

by IntimidatorStag / 02/06/2009 at 6:54pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I walked past a girl in the cafeteria and she threw up. Naturally, a crowd was drawn. Her friend asked her what was wrong. She pointed at me and said, "Get him away from me!" I had never met this girl. FML

by disgusting / 02/04/2009 at 11:51am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got up at 5am, brushed my teeth, shaved and showered to get ready for work only to step barefoot in a huge pile of dog crap in the middle of my living room floor. I don't own a dog. FML

by RustyBulletHole / 02/04/2009 at 2:53am / United States (Illinois) / Animals

Today, I got up at 5am, brushed my teeth, shaved and showered to get ready for work only to step barefoot in a huge pile of dog crap in the middle of my living room floor. I don't own a dog. FML

by RustyBulletHole / 02/04/2009 at 2:53am / United States (Illinois) / Animals

Today, I got up at 5am, brushed my teeth, shaved and showered to get ready for work only to step barefoot in a huge pile of dog crap in the middle of my living room floor. I don't own a dog. FML

by RustyBulletHole / 02/04/2009 at 2:53am / United States (Illinois) / Animals

Today, I asked a little old lady in line at my work why she wasn't out enjoying the beautiful day with all her friends. Her response: "I'd love to, but they're all dead." FML

by beckbr / 02/01/2009 at 7:51pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, I was in one of those lucid half sleeps with my boyfriend. Not fully awake to control myself, I ripped ass. I had no idea what to do. I pretended to still be sleeping. I'm pretty sure he noticed because he patted me on the back in a congratulatory sort of way. FML

by amg85904 / 01/29/2009 at 7:13pm / United States (Ohio) / Love