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canupls's favorite FMLs
Today, while at work as a telemarketer, I called a customer on his home phone. Once I was connected, an automated voice said, "To speak with a customer, please press 1." Confused, I pressed one. I then heard loud laughter followed by, "Oh my god! What a dumbass!" before they hung up. FML
by Anonymous / 05/07/2014 at 11:57pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work
by Anonymous / 04/20/2014 at 12:03am / United States (Idaho) / Animals
by burnmyeyes / 04/19/2014 at 5:26pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
by Ow / 04/18/2014 at 7:09am / United States (Arizona) / Health
Today, my husband and I decided to have a quickie before the kids woke up from their nap. The sex was amazing and I couldn't hold in my screams or not hit the wall. About 15 minutes in, both of our children came busting in with their nerf guns, screaming, "Where's the monster?" FML
by anon / 01/12/2014 at 8:53pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy
Today, I was having it off with my boyfriend when all of a sudden he stops, grabs my breasts with both hands, makes circular motions with them, and yells, "Daniel-san! Wax on! Wax off! Wax on! Wax off!", killing my orgasm dead. FML
by KarateKid76 / 12/04/2013 at 10:19pm / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 07/29/2013 at 3:07pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by needsnewshorts / 07/15/2013 at 9:42pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
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- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got…