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cannibalcorpseXD

Offline (the 06/26/2014 at 6:58pm) | Search for a member

cannibalcorpseXD

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 3 January 1983 (31 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6324
  • Number of comments : 278
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 130 posted

About cannibalcorpseXD : I'm a normal boy.

cannibalcorpseXD's page activity

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cannibalcorpseXD's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

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cannibalcorpseXD's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized I can hold a pencil in my fat rolls. FML

#4923649
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14173) - you deserved it (53169)

On 08/30/2009 at 3:12am - health - by tomchuq (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I left for college. I spent hundreds of dollars on clothes, bedding and other things. After packing my entire closet and everything else I needed, I left only to have to head back home. My dad forgot to pay the first semesters tuition. He said "Oh well, you would have failed out anyway." FML

#4891405
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44880) - you deserved it (2509)

On 08/28/2009 at 8:59pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my friend snuck up on me and yelled, "Gotcha!" I screamed and dropped a gallon of blood-red paint on my new, white kitchen floor. Now it looks like I've murdered someone in my kitchen. FML

#4876384
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36126) - you deserved it (3650)

On 08/28/2009 at 2:11am - misc - by kitchencrime (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I found out why my 5 year old son's teacher acts so awkward around me. My son told everyone in his class that I work as a stripper. I'm not a stripper, I work at the strip mall. FML

#4803668
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35871) - you deserved it (2278)

On 08/25/2009 at 2:32am - misc - by Stripperofthemall - United States (California)

Today, I was on a flight coming back home. On my right was a fat monk who was snoring very loudly, and on my left there were two old women who were talking about their teenage love lives in detail. The flight was 17 hours long. FML

#4707579
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29303) - you deserved it (2280)

On 08/21/2009 at 12:18pm - misc - by ihatelongflights (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend took me out to meet his friends. It was going really well until I left to use the bathroom and two of the girls with us came in and started talking about how creepy Matt's new girlfriend is and that they're happy he's going to dump her. My boyfriend is Matt. FML

#4647409
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42935) - you deserved it (3037)

On 08/19/2009 at 1:55am - love - by fuuuudge (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to the movies with my boyfriend. We went inside the theatre and he saw a couple of his friends. Instead of saying hi and coming back to watch the movie with me, he ditched me for them. When I reminded him he was forgetting something, he grabbed the popcorn out of my hands and left. FML

#4603530
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51783) - you deserved it (5396)

On 08/17/2009 at 3:49pm - love - by ditched (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend was fired. After breaking the news, he also broke up with me. Apparently, his boss had a creepy crush on me and would give my boyfriend bonuses for bringing me to company events and, occasionally, out on the boss's personal boat. Looks like I am no longer useful. FML

#4591074
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46234) - you deserved it (2628)

On 08/17/2009 at 1:43am - love - by TrophyGirlfriend (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was desperate to teach my 2-year old to use her potty. I had to pee, and thought maybe she would learn by watching me use it. Everything was going well, until I realized that I had a long pee. So long that it overfilled her potty all over. FML

#4577302
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12270) - you deserved it (54800)

On 08/16/2009 at 5:05pm - kids - by Overflow (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was calling my cable company to tell me how to fix my internet. I stayed on hold for almost half an hour, and then when someone finally picked up, my phone died. FML

#4562910
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36692) - you deserved it (5281)

On 08/16/2009 at 12:36am - misc - by stuff - United States (Illinois)

Today, I'm having my housewarming party and had prepared food, drink and games for all the 19 confirmed guests on Facebook. I waited till 11 but nobody showed up. I checked Facebook again and realized I had accidentally put tomorrow as the party date. I have to work the whole day tomorrow. FML

#4562871
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9939) - you deserved it (44304)

On 08/16/2009 at 12:35am - misc - by revalc (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, on my wedding day, when they said "you may kiss the bride", I swung my wife over in the romantic fashion and went in for the kiss. Unfortunately my hands were sweaty as I was nervous and she slipped under my grip. She fell and was knocked unconscious in front of hundreds of people. FML

#4543711
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46231) - you deserved it (17378)

On 08/15/2009 at 3:50am - love - by slipperyhands (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out my husband had bought my 1-year-old daughter a shirt that says "Birth Control Fail" in pink glittery letters. He even took her out in it while I was at work. FML

#4525246
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59297) - you deserved it (7111)

On 08/14/2009 at 12:57pm - kids - by ohgod (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my mom was gifted with a toiletry basket. I grabbed the lotion and used it without asking. When I went out, it began raining hard. I got wet and noticed my skin got very sticky. Turns out the lotion was actually body wash. People were wondering why soap bubbles were coming from my skin. FML

#4499935
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7285) - you deserved it (57429)

On 08/13/2009 at 12:07pm - misc - by soapgirl (woman) - Philippines (Pampanga)

Today, whilst babysitting, I broke a glass. I explained to the kid that it was very important not to walk barefoot around where it had happened, because of the tiny bits of glass. He jumped back, scared, and while doing so tripped. I rushed to help him and ran through the broken glass. Barefoot. FML

#4467592
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36364) - you deserved it (10772)

On 08/12/2009 at 2:20am - misc - by ohdang (woman) - United States (California)



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