Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

cannibalcorpseXD

Search for a member

cannibalcorpseXD
  • Town/Country : Tallahassee, America
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 3 January 1983 (31 years)
  • Number of visits : 5867
  • Number of comments : 275
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 128 posted

About cannibalcorpseXD : I'm a normal boy.

cannibalcorpseXD's last visitors

TEZZruby1040Frost013Audiobliss1molinamattlottiebearxmichaelm1290

cannibalcorpseXD's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of cannibalcorpseXD's badges

cannibalcorpseXD's favorite FMLs

Today, I was with my seven year old daughter purchasing my husband a present for his birthday in a few weeks. At the register, in the very long line, I asked her where we could hide his present so he wouldn't find it, she responded loudly with "Hide it in your room! He never goes in there!" FML

#5205091
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26143) - you deserved it (3264)

On 09/12/2009 at 11:31am - kids - by nosexlife (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I took this girl out that I've been crushing on for 2 years to a fancy restaurant. At one point during the date, I had to get up to take a massive dump. As I was walking back to the table, a little boy stood up and shouted, "THAT'S THE POOPOO MAN" in front of the whole restaurant. FML

#5198874
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38608) - you deserved it (4654)

On 09/12/2009 at 12:12am - misc - by taman (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I took this girl out that I've been crushing on for 2 years to a fancy restaurant. At one point during the date, I had to get up to take a massive dump. As I was walking back to the table, a little boy stood up and shouted, "THAT'S THE POOPOO MAN" in front of the whole restaurant. FML

#5198874
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38608) - you deserved it (4654)

On 09/12/2009 at 12:12am - misc - by taman (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was eating MandMs on a chair when I dropped one and it fell under my crotch. My mom came in to see my hand on my crotch and me muttering, "Where is that little bastard?" FML

#5187635
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56331) - you deserved it (14568)

On 09/11/2009 at 2:26pm - misc - by awilson (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I fell asleep in my last period class. When I woke up my teacher said "you missed your bus". I grabbed all my stuff and ran out the room. My class mates were standing outside the class laughing. We still had an hour left in class. FML

#5145727
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8460) - you deserved it (51690)

On 09/09/2009 at 8:32am - misc - by Victor (man) - United States

Today, I washed one of my roommates t-shirts. I forgot to remove it before putting it in the dryer, and all the print on the front melted off. It was a gift from his girlfriend. Who has just passed away. FML

#5138751
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42838) - you deserved it (16432)

On 09/08/2009 at 10:41pm - misc - by whyme27 (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was arguing with my dad. I called him a geriatric fool. He replied with, "Well at least I know who my biological father is." I have no idea if he's joking. FML

#5107055
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48673) - you deserved it (7071)

On 09/07/2009 at 3:19pm - kids - by Waheyyy (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my mum grounded me for going to my boyfriend's house instead of the library. She said my boyfriend's mum phoned up because she could hear us having it off in his room. When I denied it my mum shouted at me for being a liar as well as a slut. I did go to the library. FML

#5103491
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73227) - you deserved it (3472)

On 09/07/2009 at 11:39am - love - by SingleGirl (woman) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I was getting changed in front of my room mate of two years. Feeling comfortable, I took off all my clothes and started putting new clothes on. I asked why she wasn't taking her eyes off my naked body. She said "I'm loving the view. Didn't you know I'm a lesbian?" FML

#5094881
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17497) - you deserved it (48876)

On 09/07/2009 at 12:04am - misc - by EyesOffMe (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I discovered that I don't have Herpes or Genital warts. I have acne on my penis. FML

#5082348
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53544) - you deserved it (8102)

On 09/06/2009 at 2:19pm - health - by Curt (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I began my job as an intern at a high school. I saw one of the students looked very familiar, and I couldn't remember from where. Then I figured it out, I had hooked up with him at a club last week. He's a junior in high school, I'm in my last year of college. FML

#5041088
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11089) - you deserved it (44912)

On 09/04/2009 at 1:36pm - misc - by akward (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, walking home from work, I saw a little boy crying, so I crouched down to his eye level. I asked him what was wrong, his reply was to kick me in the groin. FML

#5016488
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36340) - you deserved it (5020)

On 09/03/2009 at 6:19am - kids - by Annoymous (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, my mum hit me with her car as she was backing out of the drive way, hurting my leg and crushing my bike. For the third time this year. FML

#4994613
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44864) - you deserved it (8932)

On 09/02/2009 at 5:45am - health - by broken (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was hanging out with a group of friends when I got into a conversation with this really attractive girl who I've liked for months. She asked me what school I go to. I sit to her left in biology. FML

#4961787
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36546) - you deserved it (2900)

On 08/31/2009 at 8:40pm - love - by outofluckdude (man) - United States (Arizona)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: