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cannibalcorpseXD

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cannibalcorpseXD
  • Town/Country : Tallahassee, America
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 3 January 1983 (31 years)
  • Number of visits : 5857
  • Number of comments : 275
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 128 posted

About cannibalcorpseXD : I'm a normal boy.

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cannibalcorpseXD's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I celebrated our five-year anniversary. I got him a new flat-screen TV. He got me toilet seat cover. FML

#6856764
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24849) - you deserved it (3690)

On 12/20/2009 at 11:27pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I can't get my heat to turn off. It is currently 87 degrees Fahrenheit in my house, and my heat is running non-stop. It's about 20 degrees outside with over a foot of snow on the ground, so a repairman can't come out to fix it. My electricity bill will be about $1000. FML

#6829701
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27295) - you deserved it (2877)

On 12/19/2009 at 3:10pm - money - by heatproblems (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was hit on by a guy who decided to use the line, "My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in." FML

#6748934
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30894) - you deserved it (3881)

On 12/14/2009 at 4:05am - love - by luckygirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was hit on by a guy who decided to use the line, "My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in." FML

#6748934
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30894) - you deserved it (3881)

On 12/14/2009 at 4:05am - love - by luckygirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was talking to this guy I like. He's very private and hides all his photos and wall posts on Facebook. Or so I thought, turns out he has me on a restricted friends list, titled "Creepers." FML

#6746062
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7689) - you deserved it (15459)

On 12/14/2009 at 12:03am - love - by creeper (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my colleague rushed off to the hospital for the birth of his first son. Having met his wife at the Christmas party a couple of years ago, I called to congratulate her. Shame I didn't realize it was his mistress having the baby. Guess who broke the news to the wife. FML

#6722392
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35858) - you deserved it (3054)

On 12/12/2009 at 1:02pm - misc - by RBEE (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my colleague rushed off to the hospital for the birth of his first son. Having met his wife at the Christmas party a couple of years ago, I called to congratulate her. Shame I didn't realize it was his mistress having the baby. Guess who broke the news to the wife. FML

#6722392
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35858) - you deserved it (3054)

On 12/12/2009 at 1:02pm - misc - by RBEE (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my coworker asked to borrow my nail clippers so he could take care of a hangnail. He went to the bathroom, which I thought was polite, but when he got back to his desk and returned my clippers, there were little curly hairs stuck inside. He's bald. FML

#6695402
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29289) - you deserved it (2574)

On 12/10/2009 at 3:41pm - work - by Hairball (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was attending a drug-free lecture at school. The speaker said, "There are many ways to quit smoking. You can try patches, gum, or even quitting cold turkey. Any questions?" I raised my hand, and she called on me. I asked, "How does cold turkey help?" And then I realized. FML

#6683898
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6575) - you deserved it (31477)

On 12/09/2009 at 7:53pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I received my camera in the mail. I had sent it back to the company because it wouldn't turn on. As I was reading the note they put in, it said, "Battery was put in backwards. No other problems found." FML

#6680274
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4910) - you deserved it (39111)

On 12/09/2009 at 1:12pm - misc - by her0x3her0ine617 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, the "hot" guy I've been talking to for a few weeks sent me a picture. He was very overweight and not good looking at all. He then followed up with, "Now send me one of you so I can prove to all of my friends that you're real." FML

#6655081
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7339) - you deserved it (32556)

On 12/07/2009 at 9:14pm - love - by Alison (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my boyfriend of 6 months called me. He said his mom was making him choose between having a dog or having a girlfriend. I asked him which one he picked. He was quiet, I heard barking in the background. FML

#6650131
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34739) - you deserved it (3880)

On 12/07/2009 at 1:20pm - love - by WoofWoof (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got a new smart phone and wanted to surprise my girlfriend with a naughty picture with it. A few minutes after sending it, I got a reply back from my girlfriend. And my best friend. And my sister. And everyone on my contacts list. FML

#6645209
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7353) - you deserved it (36971)

On 12/07/2009 at 1:36am - misc - by smart phone mms - United States

Today, I was at the costume rental shop I work at, when I saw a kid trying to walk out the door wearing what appeared to be one of our fake monster claws, so I chased him down and grabbed it. It wasn't. It was his prosthetic hand. FML

#6634050
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12179) - you deserved it (28228)

On 12/06/2009 at 1:37pm - misc - by lolfayce (man) - United States (Arizona)



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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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