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cannibalcorpseXD

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cannibalcorpseXD
  • Town/Country : Tallahassee, America
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 3 January 1983 (31 years)
  • Number of visits : 5859
  • Number of comments : 275
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 128 posted

About cannibalcorpseXD : I'm a normal boy.

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cannibalcorpseXD's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at my Muay Thai class. We were doing a combination which consisted of a low kick, body kick and head kick. My partner had already done the low kick so I held the pads for the body kick. He kicked me straight in the jaw. I'm a teenage girl and he's a fully grown man. FML

#7586565
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28171) - you deserved it (3115)

On 01/26/2010 at 7:55am - health - by anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, I woke up to my 2-year-old daughter hitting me in the face. She had just pooped her nappy and put her hands down her pants to "feel it squish around." FML

#7564644
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24206) - you deserved it (2580)

On 01/25/2010 at 5:18am - kids - by shitface (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I found out that you need to clean your car more often when you find a mouldy burrito under the back seat. FML

#7560337
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3997) - you deserved it (28026)

On 01/25/2010 at 12:19am - misc - by Username - United States

Today, I was talking this pretty religious girl that I like. We were playing a game and I asked her if she could go back in history and meet anyone who would it be. She said Jesus. Without thinking I said "I mean someone that was real." FML

#7556761
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15588) - you deserved it (39860)

On 01/24/2010 at 10:31pm - misc - by Ben (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I flew a toy helicopter into my face. FML

#7436453
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7261) - you deserved it (29179)

On 01/19/2010 at 12:42pm - misc - by magicalDEATH (man) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, my estranged, alcoholic father decided to tell me I have a sister. After 30 mins of him describing how beautiful she is and how much we look alike and how she has lived one town away from me her entire life, I was excited to the point of tears. Too bad she died a year ago. Thanks dad. FML

#7415965
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36507) - you deserved it (1712)

On 01/18/2010 at 6:49am - misc - by Mills (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I hurried into the bank to cash in the $5,000 check my grandparents had given me for college money. I found out that instead of my name, they wrote 'our sweet iddle pumpkinbutt'. I couldn't make eye contact with anyone after. FML

#7401501
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22008) - you deserved it (3981)

On 01/17/2010 at 4:08pm - misc - by pumpkinbutt - Sent from mobile version

Today, my uncle died. It was also my grandpa's 85th birthday. His reaction to the death? "Best birthday gift ever!" FML

#7396511
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26498) - you deserved it (2153)

On 01/17/2010 at 10:58am - misc - by poppet2010 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I learned that when you put duct tape over your mouth because you are bored, it really hurts taking it off. FML

#7390490
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4236) - you deserved it (60477)

On 01/17/2010 at 12:25am - misc - by ow (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I used a public bathroom and set my motorcycle helmet on the sink while I used the urinal. The helmet rolled into the sink, under the faucet and set off the motion detector, soaking the inside. I drove 15 miles home in 30 degree weather with a wet helmet. FML

#7351038
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17697) - you deserved it (7693)

On 01/15/2010 at 12:04am - misc - by RyanSmithN (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my crush of over a year came over for me to take her on our first date. Today was also the day my drunk parents decided to dance the chicken dance in our front yard, naked. FML

#7278276
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31834) - you deserved it (2622)

On 01/11/2010 at 1:12pm - love - by JK2010 (man) - Israel (Hefa)

Today, I talked myself out of buying $1 candle at the Dollar Tree. That's how broke I am. FML

#7273042
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28480) - you deserved it (3523)

On 01/11/2010 at 2:20am - money - by Pauper (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my boyfriend told me he likes having sex during my period because it makes him feel like he stabbed a small animal to death. FML

#6968124
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35655) - you deserved it (3806)

On 12/27/2009 at 2:13am - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States

Today, I had one more gift to buy: a copy of Fight Club. I asked a person working at Best Buy if they had any in stock. The man wouldn't sell me the last copy because I had broken the first two rules. FML

#6923345
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21519) - you deserved it (9510)

On 12/24/2009 at 3:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I had to wrap presents for a cat. FML

#6910234
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16752) - you deserved it (5172)

On 12/23/2009 at 9:12pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)



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