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cannibalcorpseXD

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cannibalcorpseXD
  • Town/Country : Tallahassee, America
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 3 January 1983 (31 years)
  • Number of visits : 5866
  • Number of comments : 275
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 128 posted

About cannibalcorpseXD : I'm a normal boy.

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cannibalcorpseXD's favorite FMLs

Today, I attended a speed dating evening. After 7 minutes, the girl told me she wasn't interested. I asked her at what point of the conversation she had made up her mind, she answered: "When you said 'Hello'. Goodbye". FML

#639
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14926) - you deserved it (1679)

On 12/30/2008 at 10:48pm - misc - by Aintnosunshine - Sent from mobile version

Today, after seeing a girl for a few weeks on and off I sent her a text to see if she wanted to go out the next saturday. Predictive text changed "go" to "in". So..."Why don't we in out on saturday?" She stopped calling me. FML

#612
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14518) - you deserved it (3551)

On 12/30/2008 at 11:53am - love - by Noname - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my girlfriend told me that she woke up after yesterday’s party with someone else’s trousers. FML

#562
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16746) - you deserved it (1517)

On 12/21/2008 at 4:40am - love - by Yudor - Sent from mobile version

Today, as I was pressed for time, I opened some canned food for dinner. When my children were served, they said, "Mmm, this is best meal you've ever cooked for us!" I cook healthy, balanced meals every day. FML

#557
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18995) - you deserved it (6668)

On 12/20/2008 at 7:23am - kids - by Lola - Sent from mobile version

Today, during dinner, my new girlfriend's father stroked my leg several times under the table with his bare foot. FML

#527
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27714) - you deserved it (1656)

On 12/16/2008 at 11:10pm - misc - by bloom - Sent from mobile version

Today, I caught my cat humping my dog while he was asleep. I'm sleeping with the door closed from now on. FML

#497
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28666) - you deserved it (2903)

On 12/11/2008 at 10:31pm - intimacy - by Black - Lebanon (Beqaa)

Today, I was on a transatlantic flight, ear plugs in my ears. The steward walked past with a plastic bag. I threw my litter into it and didn't immediately understand why he said, "Very funny, sir." It wasn't a bin bag, he was collecting for Unicef. FML

#461
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16442) - you deserved it (8103)

On 12/06/2008 at 10:49pm - misc - by greg76 - Sent from mobile version

Today, British Telecom disconnected my landline by mistake. Their call centre in India tried to reach me. Result, they spoke to an unknown gentleman, who told them he didn't need a phone line at my address. Reconnection in 2 business days. FML

#365
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15101) - you deserved it (1477)

On 11/22/2008 at 6:51am - misc - by Sugar - United Kingdom

Today, my boss sneezed onto his hands and then licked them in front of my best customers. FML

#292
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33313) - you deserved it (1761)

On 11/12/2008 at 10:57pm - work - by 911 - Sent from mobile version

Today, for the 25th time, an Indian called my cell phone asking for 'Pinkie'. I don't know who the hell Pinkie is, but I don't appreciate people calling wrong numbers while I'm having it off. FML

#249
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27082) - you deserved it (8605)

On 11/07/2008 at 8:07pm - misc - by Hth - United States (Delaware)

Today, on my first day at a new job, my boss asked how old I was. I replied, "Eighteen." She responded that she was my age thirty years ago, which makes her the same age as my mum. When I told her, she gave me a puzzled look, so I repeated myself. She was my age thirteen years ago, not thirty. FML

#245
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22103) - you deserved it (11861)

On 11/07/2008 at 10:33am - work - by Ulysse - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, for the first time I sat next to a hot babe. I was feeling nervous, nevertheless, I managed to shyly ask her phone number. It’s only when I arrived back home that I realized there was a digit missing. FML

#11
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52900) - you deserved it (12611)

On 10/13/2008 at 4:22am - misc - by mehdi-online -

Today, I thought it was yesterday, I went to school for nothing. FML

#10
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25651) - you deserved it (64389)

On 10/13/2008 at 4:22am - misc - by RaYan -



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