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cannibalcorpseXD

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cannibalcorpseXD
  • Town/Country : Tallahassee, America
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 3 January 1983 (31 years)
  • Number of visits : 5864
  • Number of comments : 275
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 128 posted

About cannibalcorpseXD : I'm a normal boy.

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cannibalcorpseXD's favorite FMLs

Today, at the eye doctor, they asked for my birth date for the files. My dad answered quickly, "May 28, 1994." It was embarrassing to have to correct him with "April 19, 1993." Who's May 28? Way to go dad. FML

#8905388
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22776) - you deserved it (1908)

On 03/07/2010 at 10:12pm - misc - by leenibeani4 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my looks alone made a girl cry. FML

#8893190
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27228) - you deserved it (4259)

On 03/07/2010 at 1:54pm - misc - by SadFace (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my mom cleaned my room, while doing so she found a very detailed sex book I got from an ex boyfriend as a "gift". For years I had her convinced I was still a virgin, until today. FML

#8886526
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5394) - you deserved it (20644)

On 03/07/2010 at 3:13am - intimacy - by laydeegaga -

Today, water turned to wine. That is, my brother put wine in my hamster's water bottle. Very bad idea. FML

#8873623
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17516) - you deserved it (1832)

On 03/06/2010 at 5:44pm - misc - by Lucy (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, trying to take initiative, I wore nothing but an apron and led my husband to the kitchen by his knob to have some fun. I tripped on the floor and used his knob to keep balance. FML

#8797344
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18410) - you deserved it (6451)

On 03/03/2010 at 11:22am - intimacy - by Sorry (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the bartender pulled me aside and told me that she saw my date slip something into my drink. Who was my date? My husband of four years. FML

#8790917
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29729) - you deserved it (2200)

On 03/03/2010 at 12:37am - misc - by holycrap (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was chatting with my boyfriend and his mates barefoot on the grass. I suddenly felt something flick across my feet, so I let out a startled scream. Turns out it was my toe hairs rustling in the breeze. FML

#8711589
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6081) - you deserved it (20754)

On 02/28/2010 at 4:12am - misc - by combo - Sent from mobile version

Today, I sat a client down for his haircut. He pulled off his hat and his hair was dripping wet. I asked him if he had just washed it. He responded, "No, but isn't it a hot day out?" No, it's twenty degrees and overcast today. FML

#8336543
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22107) - you deserved it (1987)

On 02/16/2010 at 11:35am - work - by kennarama (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, while out for our romantic Valentine's dinner, my boyfriend of 2.5 years told me that he believes in females being subservient, and I am not allowed to have opinions anymore. AND he is "the Alpha Dog" and I'm merely the "Beta Dog", so I have to "get used to it." FML

#8263178
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29865) - you deserved it (6673)

On 02/14/2010 at 7:43pm - love - by Shirley (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to the store to buy a new lego set, only to find there weren't any left in stock. I started crying before I could make it out of the store. Oh, and I'm eighteen. FML

#8248390
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7918) - you deserved it (37879)

On 02/14/2010 at 12:43pm - misc - by Tibblesthepengwin (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I was shopping at Walmart when I ran into this stalker chick. She introduced me to her baby. He's named after me. FML

#8191025
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28699) - you deserved it (2359)

On 02/13/2010 at 12:48am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, it's my sixteenth birthday and my mom promised me she'd buy me a car. She came home with a toy lego car. FML

#8169193
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15907) - you deserved it (13811)

On 02/12/2010 at 2:24pm - misc - by RaceCar (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I texted my girlfriend that I'm going to 'lick my professor's ass' instead of 'kick' due to auto-correction on my phone. FML

#8052532
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11093) - you deserved it (22614)

On 02/09/2010 at 2:10pm - misc - by kingmetal42 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was having a very realistic dream about a hot guy. Just as he was leaning in to ravish me, I was rudely awakened by the sound of my husband farting and snorting at the same time. FML

#8005552
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25748) - you deserved it (10306)

On 02/08/2010 at 6:24am - love - by dreamteam (woman) - United States

Today, I found out the love of my life, my husband, is cheating on me. When I confronted him about it, his response was, "Don't blame me, you're the gullible bitch." FML

#7992828
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37941) - you deserved it (3311)

On 02/07/2010 at 11:03pm - love - by Hm (woman) - United States (California)



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