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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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cannibalcorpseXD

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cannibalcorpseXD
  • Town/Country : Tallahassee, America
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 2 January 1983 (29 years)
  • Number of visits : 3403
  • Number of comments : 200
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 118 posted

About cannibalcorpseXD : I'm a normal boy.

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cannibalcorpseXD's favorite FMLs

Today, my English teacher told me that I failed my grammar test. Her exact words were "You ain't gonna pass this class if you ain't gonna study." FML

#13935466 (149)

I agree, your life sucks (22048) - you deserved it (5079)

On 11/22/2010 at 9:47am - misc - by dumbteacher -

Today, I noticed a guy in a slow-moving car yelling "Where you going with my flowers, bitch?" at a woman walking on the sidewalk, carrying a bouquet. I gave him a dirty stare for being an asshole. He then changed the tune of his yelling to "What the fuck you looking at dyke?" Then he spat at me. FML

#13872147 (131)

I agree, your life sucks (19985) - you deserved it (5234)

On 11/17/2010 at 12:22am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a girl who has had a problem with me for as long as I can remember, tagged me in a Facebook status update in which she equated my intelligence to that of a mollusk and equated my weight to that of a hippopotamus. My boyfriend, as well as several of my "friends," liked it. FML

#13789800 (158)

I agree, your life sucks (19565) - you deserved it (2716)

On 11/10/2010 at 12:33pm - misc - by smarter than a mollusk, skinner than a hippo - United States

Today, I was walking to school. I started running to catch up with my friend. I yelled her name, and she turned around in time to watch me slip on a sheet of ice, fall face first, and pass out. When she ran to my side, I unconsciously peed on her. FML

#13471271 (76)

I agree, your life sucks (20457) - you deserved it (2592)

On 10/16/2010 at 11:18am - misc - by anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I fainted because of a condition I have. My husband, who was standing right there, failed to catch me because he didn't want to drop his yogurt. FML

#13422951 (138)

I agree, your life sucks (25311) - you deserved it (2643)

On 10/12/2010 at 5:52pm - health - by anon - United States (California)

Today, my physics teacher accidentally lit me on fire. FML

#9184901 (388)

I agree, your life sucks (42947) - you deserved it (4389)

On 03/18/2010 at 11:22am - health - by human torch - United States

Today, I rear-ended a car while I was texting about the accident ahead which was causing all the traffic. FML

#9155456 (276)

I agree, your life sucks (3957) - you deserved it (57626)

On 03/17/2010 at 7:51am - misc - by KobraKommander - Sent from mobile version

Today, at a debate tournament based on domestic abuse, my partner yells out, "Has anyone considered that maybe the women DESERVED to be beaten?" FML

#9141842 (425)

I agree, your life sucks (29759) - you deserved it (4219)

On 03/16/2010 at 8:46pm - misc - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out that the so-called vegetarian soy sauce my mom has made for me several times has minced meat in it. FML

#9068336 (72)

I agree, your life sucks (15694) - you deserved it (8178)

On 03/14/2010 at 6:21am - misc - by Vegetarian (woman) - Finland (Western Finland)

Today, I woke up crying in the middle of a nightmare in which my boyfriend of 8 months shot me through the heart whilst laughing as I screamed 'I Love You'. After I told him about this, he took me into his arms as I cried, stroked my back and said, 'What kind of gun was it?' FML

#9019177 (291)

I agree, your life sucks (21170) - you deserved it (4688)

On 03/12/2010 at 8:17am - love - by justlittleoldme (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I got home early from work. When I got home I got to see my dad chasing my mom around the house, naked. FML

#9015230 (148)

I agree, your life sucks (20565) - you deserved it (2047)

On 03/12/2010 at 1:05am - misc - by ugh - United States

Today, I had a strong feeling that someone was watching me as I was undressing to get ready for bed. I conspicuously moved to the door and threw it open to find my step-brother clearly spying on me. We are the same age, live in the same house three weeks a month and in the same English class. FML

#9006202 (189)

I agree, your life sucks (19302) - you deserved it (1417)

On 03/11/2010 at 8:18pm - misc - by meowtickmeow - United States (Ohio)

Today, while at the dog park, I suddenly had to use the bathroom really badly. Since there weren't any facilities nearby, I decided to go behind a tree and relieve myself there. While doing this, two other owners, one that's in my math class, noticed me, regardless of me hiding. She definitely saw everything. School will be fun tomorrow. FML

#9001360 (133)

I agree, your life sucks (5251) - you deserved it (13662)

On 03/11/2010 at 5:44pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my mum decided to teach me a lesson about carelessly leaving my wallet about. She left it on the floor so our puppy could use it and its contents as a chew toy. I was almost impressed to discover that he can eat three £20 notes and still have room for debit cards. FML

#8971410 (132)

I agree, your life sucks (15836) - you deserved it (5830)

On 03/10/2010 at 1:37pm - money - by MR (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I woke up because I really had to pee. I got out of bed, went to the bathroom and went back to bed. Or so I thought. I did pee, but I only dreamed that I got out of bed. FML

#8972431 (247)

I agree, your life sucks (21287) - you deserved it (2650)

On 03/10/2010 at 12:56pm - misc - by watersport (man) - United States (Michigan)