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cannibalcorpseXD

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cannibalcorpseXD
  • Town/Country : Tallahassee, America
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 3 January 1983 (31 years)
  • Number of visits : 5855
  • Number of comments : 275
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 128 posted

About cannibalcorpseXD : I'm a normal boy.

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cannibalcorpseXD's favorite FMLs

Today, I was the maid of honor at my sister's wedding. I was the first one to walk down the aisle, where I managed to trip over a wire, shutting off the music and falling on my face. My family cheered and took pictures. FML

#19899247
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18800) - you deserved it (2148)

On 07/06/2012 at 6:42am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my English teacher told me that I failed my grammar test. Her exact words were "You ain't gonna pass this class if you ain't gonna study." FML

#13935466
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28401) - you deserved it (6586)

On 11/22/2010 at 9:47am - misc - by dumbteacher -

Today, a girl who has had a problem with me for as long as I can remember, tagged me in a Facebook status update in which she equated my intelligence to that of a mollusk and equated my weight to that of a hippopotamus. My boyfriend, as well as several of my "friends," liked it. FML

#13789800
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24081) - you deserved it (3665)

On 11/10/2010 at 12:33pm - misc - by smarter than a mollusk, skinner than a hippo - United States

Today, I was walking to school. I started running to catch up with my friend. I yelled her name, and she turned around in time to watch me slip on a sheet of ice, fall face first, and pass out. When she ran to my side, I unconsciously peed on her. FML

#13471271
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22639) - you deserved it (2833)

On 10/16/2010 at 11:18am - misc - by anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I fainted because of a condition I have. My husband, who was standing right there, failed to catch me because he didn't want to drop his yogurt. FML

#13422951
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27388) - you deserved it (2841)

On 10/12/2010 at 5:52pm - health - by anon - United States (California)

Today, I rear-ended a car while I was texting about the accident ahead which was causing all the traffic. FML

#9155456
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5419) - you deserved it (79352)

On 03/17/2010 at 7:51am - misc - by KobraKommander - Sent from mobile version

Today, at a debate tournament based on domestic abuse, my partner yells out, "Has anyone considered that maybe the women DESERVED to be beaten?" FML

#9141842
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34938) - you deserved it (5524)

On 03/16/2010 at 8:46pm - misc - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out that the so-called vegetarian soy sauce my mom has made for me several times has minced meat in it. FML

#9068336
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19913) - you deserved it (10947)

On 03/14/2010 at 6:21am - misc - by Vegetarian (woman) - Finland (Western Finland)

Today, I woke up crying in the middle of a nightmare in which my boyfriend of 8 months shot me through the heart whilst laughing as I screamed 'I Love You'. After I told him about this, he took me into his arms as I cried, stroked my back and said, 'What kind of gun was it?' FML

#9019177
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27477) - you deserved it (6328)

On 03/12/2010 at 8:17am - love - by justlittleoldme (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I got home early from work. When I got home I got to see my dad chasing my mom around the house, naked. FML

#9015230
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27001) - you deserved it (2896)

On 03/12/2010 at 1:05am - misc - by ugh - United States

Today, I had a strong feeling that someone was watching me as I was undressing to get ready for bed. I conspicuously moved to the door and threw it open to find my step-brother clearly spying on me. We are the same age, live in the same house three weeks a month and in the same English class. FML

#9006202
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22455) - you deserved it (1884)

On 03/11/2010 at 8:18pm - misc - by meowtickmeow - United States (Ohio)

Today, while at the dog park, I suddenly had to use the bathroom really badly. Since there weren't any facilities nearby, I decided to go behind a tree and relieve myself there. While doing this, two other owners, one that's in my math class, noticed me, regardless of me hiding. She definitely saw everything. School will be fun tomorrow. FML

#9001360
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7348) - you deserved it (20516)

On 03/11/2010 at 5:44pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my mum decided to teach me a lesson about carelessly leaving my wallet about. She left it on the floor so our puppy could use it and its contents as a chew toy. I was almost impressed to discover that he can eat three £20 notes and still have room for debit cards. FML

#8971410
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20505) - you deserved it (7736)

On 03/10/2010 at 1:37pm - money - by MR (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I woke up because I really had to pee. I got out of bed, went to the bathroom and went back to bed. Or so I thought. I did pee, but I only dreamed that I got out of bed. FML

#8972431
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25448) - you deserved it (3461)

On 03/10/2010 at 12:56pm - misc - by watersport (man) - United States (Michigan)



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