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cannibal_cabbage

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cannibal_cabbage

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  • Number of visits : 740
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Visits<b>Welshite</b> - the 04/07/2013 at 2:05am<b>PenguinBitch</b> - the 01/04/2013 at 5:01pm<b>rodfan95</b> - the 01/03/2013 at 9:31pm<b>Shadowvoid</b> - the 12/27/2012 at 10:53am<b>ICastillo</b> - the 12/20/2012 at 8:00pm

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cannibal_cabbage's favorite FMLs

Today, I was told by my mother that the reason she quit her job as a counselor and divorced my dad was because she met someone through work. She works in a prison. FML

#6441636
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28851) - you deserved it (1822)

On 11/25/2009 at 1:42am - misc - by CT (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my manager sent me a text message with a picture of Santa masturbating, with a message that said he wished me a white Christmas. FML

#6401581
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20572) - you deserved it (3723)

On 11/22/2009 at 4:15am - intimacy - by lonewolf2701 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of three years sent me a text saying: "I don't think we can see each other anymore, the nights were great, but I think I'm falling in love with Julie". I'm Julie. FML

#6293828
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42503) - you deserved it (2458)

On 11/13/2009 at 10:07pm - love - by JJ (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I auditioned for a part and made it because the director thought I would be "perfect" for the part and I was "just like the character in every way." The part is for a schizophrenic drug addict who everyone hates and is stabbed to death in the second scene. FML

#6274583
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25579) - you deserved it (3827)

On 11/12/2009 at 4:37pm - work - by Falafax (man) - United States

Today, I realized that sometimes I forget to turn off my desk light when I leave the room for dinner. I also learned that said desk light can get hot enough to melt plastic, which is why my brand-new laptop screen was literally oozing onto the table top when I got back. FML

Today, my wife asked me if she looked cute in a new dress that she bought earlier today. I told her that she almost looks like a supermodel. Appearantly "almost" doesn't cut it. Guess who's sleeping on the couch. FML

#5785501
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31911) - you deserved it (11161)

On 10/11/2009 at 10:20pm - misc - by keepmouthshut (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that if you don't clean the inside of your sonicare toothbrush, it can grow masses of fungus. I've been brushing my teeth with a vibrating mushroom for the past 5 months. FML

#5588493
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27730) - you deserved it (19866)

On 10/01/2009 at 5:57pm - misc - by mushroommouth (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend asked me to marry him by handing me a ring and telling me, "Okay we're engaged now." I should have seen it coming when we started dating, I went to his house one night and as I was leaving he said, "Okay you're my girlfriend now." FML

#5407615
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37880) - you deserved it (15310)

On 09/22/2009 at 12:27am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, knowing that the girl I broke up with last night goes crazy after breakups, I threw away my hair products, thinking she switched them with Nair. She didn't... but she did use the key I keep under a flowerpot to take all of my clothes and burn them on my lawn while I was at work. FML

#5066785
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38446) - you deserved it (8027)

On 09/05/2009 at 7:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, at my bachelorette party, I got so wasted, I ended up giving my stripper a lap dance because he "wasn't doing it properly". There's photos. FML

#5015078
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8751) - you deserved it (46172)

On 09/03/2009 at 2:47am - misc - by sexyfreak2510 (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, as I arrived at my house after a two week holiday, I opened the door and heard footsteps upstairs, I went up and found my boyfriend naked in bed. We had great sex and afterwards I found my best friend naked in the wardrobe. Turns out they'd had great sex also. FML

#4879215
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60127) - you deserved it (4528)

On 08/28/2009 at 7:43am - intimacy - by Phoellie (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my five year old daughter told me that while I'm at work, daddy has his wrestling buddy Melinda over. She also said that they wrestle on the bed so that they won't get hurt. FML

#4867119
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77488) - you deserved it (3383)

On 08/27/2009 at 7:57pm - love - by abercrombieef (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boss asked me how my parents' divorce affected me as a child. This is a sensitive subject, but I thought he was trying to connect with me so I told him how much it hurt. Turns out he wants to leave his wife and wanted to know if his kids would turn out "messed up" because of it. FML

#4850742
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36661) - you deserved it (2545)

On 08/27/2009 at 12:12am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mom explained to me that looking up gay porn on the internet is bad. I didn't look up gay porn. The only other person who uses the laptop is my dad. I couldn't tell her the truth and had to pretend I enjoy gay fanfiction. FML

#4645462
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53677) - you deserved it (4835)

On 08/19/2009 at 12:41am - misc - by weeks (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I saw my girlfriend going into my best friend's dorm room and suspected her to cheat on me so I placed a camera in his room to spy on them. In the end, I discovered that my girlfriend has problems in math and both my best friend and brother are gay. FML

#4379475
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17276) - you deserved it (74831)

On 08/08/2009 at 3:18am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Quebec)



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