cannibal_cabbage

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cannibal_cabbage

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 1286
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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cannibal_cabbage's page activity

Visits<b>Welshite</b> - the 04/07/2013 at 2:05am<b>PenguinBitch</b> - the 01/04/2013 at 5:01pm<b>rodfan95</b> - the 01/03/2013 at 9:31pm<b>Shadowvoid</b> - the 12/27/2012 at 10:53am<b>ICastillo</b> - the 12/20/2012 at 8:00pm

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cannibal_cabbage's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML

by smart move there / 05/16/2012 at 12:10pm / Ireland (Kildare) / Intimacy

Today, to avoid looking like a loser in front of his friends who all have girlfriends, my brother made up a perfect relationship. He asked me to give him a hickey in exchange for 50 euros. Our parents walked in on us. FML

by Flip / 05/02/2012 at 1:06am / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Love

Today, another of my dad's blind dates went bad, so I took him out for a beer. I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and when I came back, two guys were congratulating my dad on scoring such a hot piece of ass, and said the sex must be awesome. My dad played along with it. FML

by jonasister / 04/15/2012 at 2:43pm / Sweden (Skane Lan) / Intimacy

Today, after years of waiting, I finally got to meet the band whose music got me through one of the hardest times I have ever experienced. When I turned down the lead singer for sex, they told me to leave. FML

by bummed / 04/15/2012 at 3:03am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, my ex-husband officially became my step dad. FML

by ladylarni / 04/07/2012 at 4:20am / Australia / Love

Today, I was woken up by a call from "the Nuisance Call Prevention Registry". The lady on the telephone didn't see the irony. FML

by Telemarket / 04/04/2012 at 6:58am / United Kingdom (Glasgow City) / Miscellaneous

Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, he called me "Mom." FML

by ohgod... / 04/01/2012 at 10:18pm / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy

Today, I spotted a $100 bill on the ground. Being a little strapped for cash, I excitedly picked it up. I discovered it was one of those religious tract papers made to look like a folded bill, with a message scolding me for being greedy. FML

by Anon / 03/22/2012 at 7:32pm / United States (New York) / Money

Today, I saw an article about how some people think internet access is more important than sex. I asked my boyfriend which he thought was more important. He chose internet access. FML

by justwow / 03/21/2012 at 7:58pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

Today, I was sitting in my school's crowded auditorium. When our single, abstinence-only ballsack of a Sex Ed teacher was announced to be stepping down due to being pregnant, I burst into uncontrollable laughter. My reward was aching sides and a week of detention. FML

by Anonymous / 03/15/2012 at 9:31pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I had just finished up at work. I was standing on a street corner, waiting to cross to get to my car on the other side. I had three people pull up beside me and ask me how much I charged. FML

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents. Her huge, ex-Marine father took me out back, saying he wanted to show me something. That something was a machete. He savagely buried it in a tree stump and said, "Son, if you break my daughter's heart, that'll be your dick." FML

by PUA / 03/14/2012 at 9:06pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy

Today, I downloaded an application that notifies me when my phone is fully charged. I had no idea how it actually functions, but I plugged the charger in and went to bed. A couple of hours later, I woke up to a man's voice screaming, "I can't take it anymore!" I nearly wet myself. FML

by scaredshitless / 03/03/2012 at 8:55am / Finland (Southern Finland) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend revealed to me that she has primeisodophobia. What is primeisodophobia, you may ask? Well, it's the fear of losing your virginity. FML

by virginkiller / 03/03/2012 at 8:23am / Singapore / Intimacy

Today, I started crying in class because of a sad part in the book I was reading. I got pulled out into the hallway and my male teacher asked, "Is it your special time?" FML

by Crying / 02/29/2012 at 3:21pm / United States (Michigan) / Geek