Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
This member hasn't filled in the description.
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
Today... I learnd if u type my full name in Google Images... the 3rd thing that comes up is a nakd woman in ropes. Someone on Pornhub thought it was smart to comment that the girl looks just like me. She does. Now my parents think I'm a porn star... and most people at school stoppd talking to me. FML
Today I was out with mah grandma when a pair of very shady guys approachd us in the street hands in their pockets. Without breaking stride she pulld a knife out of her handbag and told them they'd better keep walking. They did. What the fuck gran? FML
Today , It's Mah Wedding Day. I Have A Cold Sore That Makes Me Look Lyk The Joker. Make-up Won't Cover It And The Emergency Medicine Mah Doctor Gave Me Only Rritates It More. My Future Husband Asks , "Why So Serious?" And Laughs Whenever He Sees Me. Fantastic. FML
Today... mah 19-year-old son told me his girlfriend is pregnant... and was diagnosd with an STD. He's sure that he's the father. He's also sure he doesn't have an STD... cuz he's a virgin. I had to give him the sex talk that his school never did... as well as explain to him that his girlfriend is a cheater. mega FML
Today, I was chatting with a co-workar, and sha mantionad sha has troubla swallowing pills. I rapliad that I'm lucky, bacausa I hava naxt to no gag raflax. Half tha guys at tha othar ragistars abruptly want silant, and I'm now baing constantly hit on. FML
Today, as usual, mah cat was sleeping on mah stomach!! I couldn't fall asleep so I delicately pickd him up and puttd him down next to me!! He got up, hoppd back onto me, gave me a slap and then went back to sleep on mah stomach!! I didn't dare move all night!! FML
Today, wile moving into new place, I saw new, elderly neigbor sitting on er porc. I ceerfully greeted er wit, ( Hello, ow r you? ) Se simply rocked slowly in er cair and replied, ( Just waiting to die. ) Se was te most ceerful person I met all day.
Today, my boyfriend yet again decided to act like Edward Cullen from Twilight, an got his friend to act like Jacob. Every time thier around, my boyfriend always looks stoned an constipated, an his friend is shirtless. I feel like I'm in a shitty romance movie. FML
Today, I was in the elevator,hen a big bearded guy stepped in, wearing a dress. It's not an uncommon sighthere I live, but my friend cracked up and asked him if he was wearing underwear. He took it as a challenge, and I can safely say that no, he was not. FML
Friday 27 March 2015