About candygurl1234 : I'm a girl I like to eat and sleep that's all you need to know.
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candygurl1234's favorite FMLs
by ashleylynn17 / 02/25/2014 at 4:59pm / Miscellaneous
Today, after 3 months of no orgasms, I was in the shower, working to rectify that. As I was seconds away from coming, my dad loudly knocked on the door and demanded to know how much longer I was going to take. Probably another 3 months now, dad. FML
by sally / 01/25/2014 at 12:42pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy
by SirDirtyRedD / 01/24/2014 at 8:03pm / Iceland (Gullbringusysla) / Kids
by Anonymous / 01/24/2014 at 4:02pm / United Kingdom (West Lothian) / Miscellaneous
by fappy dog / 01/23/2014 at 4:06pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
Today, my parents left early in the morning to run some errands, and I thought it would be nice to shovel our rather large driveway for them while they were out. An hour later, they returned from the store with a snow blower. FML
by fail / 01/19/2014 at 3:35pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, there was a forest fire in my town. I was still forced to go to school, as it was safer. A lot of people decided not to go, and we ended up doing nothing but watching the news reports. There, I got to see my house burning on live TV. FML
by Fire sucks. / 01/16/2014 at 10:42pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by DisturbedMan / 01/15/2014 at 5:29pm / United Kingdom (Kent) / Intimacy
Today, I found out that the generous gift from my boyfriend of a new iPhone was only given so he could use the "find my phone" function to make sure I'm always where I say I am each day. I'm being stalked by my own boyfriend. FML
by Anonymous / 01/15/2014 at 1:25pm / Italy (Toscana) / Love
by jseid2 / 01/15/2014 at 12:54am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Pop / 01/14/2014 at 9:38pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, the sewage pipe busted on the side of our house, spew fecal matter and the condoms I recently flushed. My parents now refuse to talk to me, and won't let my girlfriend anywhere near the house. FML
by ===== / 01/14/2014 at 12:59pm / Pakistan (Sindh) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was laying down with my girlfriend, when she asked me if I'd ever been kicked in the junk. I awkwardly said no, and she replied, "Well maybe that should change." while rubbing my shoulder lovingly. I'm scared. FML
by Anonymous / 01/14/2014 at 11:15am / United Kingdom (Cheshire) / Health
Today, I found out that whenever my ex-wife is late getting the kids to school, she tells them to tell their teachers they were with me, and forges my name on the sign-in sheet. Missing homework? Dad's house. Forgot to bring something important? Ditto. The school thinks I'm a horrible parent. FML
by OvertonHippie / 01/13/2014 at 7:09am / United States (Mississippi) / Intimacy
Today, my husband and I decided to have a quickie before the kids woke up from their nap. The sex was amazing and I couldn't hold in my screams or not hit the wall. About 15 minutes in, both of our children came busting in with their nerf guns, screaming, "Where's the monster?" FML
by anon / 01/12/2014 at 8:53pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy
- Today, I couldn't get into my car. I got mad at the lock, and my key broken inside it. It wasn't my… Today, I went to the Eiffel Tower with my boyfriend. We’d been talking about getting married for a… Today, a car almost hit me. Since I wasn’t hurt, the driver chased me with a baseball bat to finish…