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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 1 September 1992 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 404
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About candygurl1234 : I'm a girl I like to eat and sleep that's all you need to know.

candygurl1234's FML badges

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candygurl1234's favorite FMLs

Today, I was told I pull the "whole grunge look" off quite well. I don't dress "grunge", nor was that my intention. FML

by ashleylynn17 / 02/25/2014 at 4:59pm / Miscellaneous

Today, after 3 months of no orgasms, I was in the shower, working to rectify that. As I was seconds away from coming, my dad loudly knocked on the door and demanded to know how much longer I was going to take. Probably another 3 months now, dad. FML

by sally / 01/25/2014 at 12:42pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy

Today, I found my little brother breathing heavily and asked him what he was doing. He looked at me intensely and said "Breathing in all the oxygen so you can't have any and die." 5ML

by SirDirtyRedD / 01/24/2014 at 8:03pm / Iceland (Gullbringusysla) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my mum decided that having the flu and being too lazy to go upstairs to the bathroom is a valid excuse to shit in a jug instead. 5ML

by Anonymous / 01/24/2014 at 4:02pm / United Kingdom (West Lothian) / Miscellaneous

Today, and for the past week, my dog started barking at my door when I start masturbating. I think my mom is starting to suspect. FML

by fappy dog / 01/23/2014 at 4:06pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, my parents left early in the morning to run some errands, and I thought it would be nice to shovel our rather large driveway for them while they were out. An hour later, they returned from the store with a snow blower. FML

by fail / 01/19/2014 at 3:35pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, there was a forest fire in my town. I was still forced to go to school, as it was safer. A lot of people decided not to go, and we ended up doing nothing but watching the news reports. There, I got to see my house burning on live TV. FML

by Fire sucks. / 01/16/2014 at 10:42pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, as if having to endure the noises of my parents having sex in the next room wasn't painful enough, my mom decided to shout, "Yeah! Like a horse!" I want to cry. FML

by DisturbedMan / 01/15/2014 at 5:29pm / United Kingdom (Kent) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that the generous gift from my boyfriend of a new iPhone was only given so he could use the "find my phone" function to make sure I'm always where I say I am each day. I'm being stalked by my own boyfriend. FML

by Anonymous / 01/15/2014 at 1:25pm / Italy (Toscana) / Love

Today, my students unanimously agreed, in front of me, that the only reason they take my course is to look at my ass. FML

by jseid2 / 01/15/2014 at 12:54am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my grandfather told me that I was ugly. When my mom found out, she said that "old people are allowed to tell the truth". FML

by Pop / 01/14/2014 at 9:38pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, the sewage pipe busted on the side of our house, spew fecal matter and the condoms I recently flushed. My parents now refuse to talk to me, and won't let my girlfriend anywhere near the house. FML

by ===== / 01/14/2014 at 12:59pm / Pakistan (Sindh) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was laying down with my girlfriend, when she asked me if I'd ever been kicked in the junk. I awkwardly said no, and she replied, "Well maybe that should change." while rubbing my shoulder lovingly. I'm scared. FML

by Anonymous / 01/14/2014 at 11:15am / United Kingdom (Cheshire) / Health

Today, I found out that whenever my ex-wife is late getting the kids to school, she tells them to tell their teachers they were with me, and forges my name on the sign-in sheet. Missing homework? Dad's house. Forgot to bring something important? Ditto. The school thinks I'm a horrible parent. FML

by OvertonHippie / 01/13/2014 at 7:09am / United States (Mississippi) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my husband and I decided to have a quickie before the kids woke up from their nap. The sex was amazing and I couldn't hold in my screams or not hit the wall. About 15 minutes in, both of our children came busting in with their nerf guns, screaming, "Where's the monster?" FML

by anon / 01/12/2014 at 8:53pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy