About candy29 : Hey everyone:) If you are wondering about my screen name its because my real name means sweet and candy:) I'm a laid back college student. I really enjoy listening to music and going to concerts. I have a lot of random interests, you want to know more ask:) but if you ask me something pervy then I might just ignore you. haha.
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I agree, their lives suck
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candy29's favorite FMLs
Today, I noticed a weird smell coming from my four year old daughter's room. I went to investigate and found she had been using (and hiding) her garbage can as a toilet for when she "can't make it in time." FML
by Anonymous / 03/21/2011 at 8:01pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
by anonymous / 03/21/2011 at 3:01pm / United States / Work
by fffmmll / 03/21/2011 at 12:58pm / United Kingdom (Derbyshire) / Intimacy
by anti-drugs / 03/21/2011 at 6:57am / United Kingdom / Health
Today, it was my friend's 18th birthday. She had invited us out drinking. I've never had alcohol before and was very excited. I got a call explaining that she had invited one too many and asked me not to come. People bragging on facebook about what a great time they were having didn't help either. FML
by Anonymous / 03/21/2011 at 2:20am / United Kingdom (York) / Miscellaneous
Today, in an attempt to get my son to stop playing Call of Duty, I threw his Xbox controller out the window. He was so desperate, he followed it. His bedroom is on the second floor. My son has 3 broken ribs, and no future. FML
by failureparent / 03/20/2011 at 9:25pm / United States (California) / Geek
by boom / 03/17/2011 at 5:26pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
Today, a man pulled me violently into an alleyway and informed me I was being mugged. Being a body-builder, I said, "Oh yeah? I dare you." He kicked my ass in a matter of seconds, stole my wallet, then farted on my bruised face. He called me a wimp. FML
by NotAsToughAsHeThinks / 02/13/2011 at 10:25pm / United States (Montana) / Health
by Anonymous / 11/13/2010 at 12:55pm / United States (Florida) / Geek
Today, I was in my room, in my briefs and texting my girlfriend. Suddenly, I got a massive erection and I decided to take a picture to send her. As soon as my camera phone clicked, my mom walked in. You can see my mom in the picture screaming at me. FML
by anonymous / 03/06/2010 at 1:10am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
Today, I met my boyfriend's father for the first time. We were at a restaurant and my bofriend kept playing footsie with me under the table. When my boyfriend excused himself to go to the restroom, the game of footsie was still going on. FML
by ohcrap / 09/28/2009 at 12:10am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at the bar and my friend and I were making fun of this guy wearing a Affliction muscle tee and bedazzled Ed Hardy hat. We were saying how he was the epitome of a douche bag and that he probably likes UFC. Turns out he's an MMA fighter and I now have a broken nose. FML
by brokennose / 08/26/2009 at 12:40am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I brought my lunch to work in the only box I had lying around my apartment - a small one from FedEx. When I went to the bathroom before lunch, I returned to my desk to find that one of my coworkers had mailed my lunch back to my apartment. FML
by fedexed / 07/27/2009 at 3:12pm / United States (California) / Work
by Emptyspace / 06/25/2009 at 3:15pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I've found out that since beginning my new heavy workout regime, my testosterone levels have… Today, I had to explain to my doctor and parents that I dislocated my shoulder while masturbating.… Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when she starts laughing and says "Wow, this is just too…