candy29

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Offline (the 09/18/2014 at 11:15pm)

candy29

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3615
  • Number of comments : 31
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About candy29 : Hey everyone:) If you are wondering about my screen name its because my real name means sweet and candy:) I'm a laid back college student. I really enjoy listening to music and going to concerts. I have a lot of random interests, you want to know more ask:) but if you ask me something pervy then I might just ignore you. haha.

candy29's page activity

Visits<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 7:28am<b>hullarms</b> - the 12/31/2015 at 2:26pm<b>cookies61889</b> - the 11/14/2015 at 3:31pm<b>nightstalker94</b> - the 10/30/2015 at 6:06pm<b>kylefitz20</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 12:32pm<b>hotheadslav</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 11:21pm<b>jezuzfreak96</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 12:16am<b>e077</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 12:33pm<b>justinccp</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 3:07am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 6:38pm<b>xDochx</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 1:20am<b>petrolhead</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 11:37am<b>sparklycupcake08</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 1:47pm<b>Just_Ya</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 2:31am<b>suoerkewl</b> - the 04/10/2014 at 6:44pm<b>Trollx</b> - the 02/26/2014 at 9:48am<b>Reidar</b> - the 02/06/2014 at 5:52am<b>jusgotburned</b> - the 01/18/2014 at 11:50pm

Fucked!<b>Edogg215</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 12:38am

candy29's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of candy29's badges

candy29's favorite FMLs

Today, I noticed a weird smell coming from my four year old daughter's room. I went to investigate and found she had been using (and hiding) her garbage can as a toilet for when she "can't make it in time." FML

by Anonymous / 03/21/2011 at 8:01pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I tried to clock in at work, only to have the clock tell me I "wasn't scheduled", so I asked my boss what was going on. Turns out I was fired, and this was her way of avoiding conflict. FML

by anonymous / 03/21/2011 at 3:01pm / United States / Work

Today, my boyfriend called my vagina "Chewbacca". FML

by fffmmll / 03/21/2011 at 12:58pm / United Kingdom (Derbyshire) / Intimacy

Today, my mum accused me of doing heroin because some teaspoons had gone missing. FML

by anti-drugs / 03/21/2011 at 6:57am / United Kingdom / Health

Today, it was my friend's 18th birthday. She had invited us out drinking. I've never had alcohol before and was very excited. I got a call explaining that she had invited one too many and asked me not to come. People bragging on facebook about what a great time they were having didn't help either. FML

by Anonymous / 03/21/2011 at 2:20am / United Kingdom (York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend had a bad dream that a horse was biting his fingers off. He punched the horse in the neck, and in real life punched me in the spine. Twice. FML

by lily389 / 03/21/2011 at 1:02am / Health

Today, in an attempt to get my son to stop playing Call of Duty, I threw his Xbox controller out the window. He was so desperate, he followed it. His bedroom is on the second floor. My son has 3 broken ribs, and no future. FML

by failureparent / 03/20/2011 at 9:25pm / United States (California) / Geek

Today, my crush gave me a ride home. When I opened the door to get out, he switched the gear to reverse, thinking the car was in park. I got run over by the car door. FML

by boom / 03/17/2011 at 5:26pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, a man pulled me violently into an alleyway and informed me I was being mugged. Being a body-builder, I said, "Oh yeah? I dare you." He kicked my ass in a matter of seconds, stole my wallet, then farted on my bruised face. He called me a wimp. FML

by NotAsToughAsHeThinks / 02/13/2011 at 10:25pm / United States (Montana) / Health

Today, I realized I've been playing too much Call of Duty. I started screaming, "Spawn, bitch! Spawn!" at my microwavable pizza while it was in the microwave. FML

by Anonymous / 11/13/2010 at 12:55pm / United States (Florida) / Geek

Today, I was in my room, in my briefs and texting my girlfriend. Suddenly, I got a massive erection and I decided to take a picture to send her. As soon as my camera phone clicked, my mom walked in. You can see my mom in the picture screaming at me. FML

by anonymous / 03/06/2010 at 1:10am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I met my boyfriend's father for the first time. We were at a restaurant and my bofriend kept playing footsie with me under the table. When my boyfriend excused himself to go to the restroom, the game of footsie was still going on. FML

by ohcrap / 09/28/2009 at 12:10am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at the bar and my friend and I were making fun of this guy wearing a Affliction muscle tee and bedazzled Ed Hardy hat. We were saying how he was the epitome of a douche bag and that he probably likes UFC. Turns out he's an MMA fighter and I now have a broken nose. FML

by brokennose / 08/26/2009 at 12:40am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I brought my lunch to work in the only box I had lying around my apartment - a small one from FedEx. When I went to the bathroom before lunch, I returned to my desk to find that one of my coworkers had mailed my lunch back to my apartment. FML

by fedexed / 07/27/2009 at 3:12pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, I found my long lost diary and curiously read it. What's worse than finding out that your mother read your diary? Finding out that your mother wrote comments in it. FML

by Emptyspace / 06/25/2009 at 3:15pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous