About candy29 : Hey everyone:) If you are wondering about my screen name its because my real name means sweet and candy:) I'm a laid back college student. I really enjoy listening to music and going to concerts. I have a lot of random interests, you want to know more ask:) but if you ask me something pervy then I might just ignore you. haha.
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candy29's favorite FMLs
by sisterly love / 08/14/2013 at 5:13pm / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I fell asleep on the beach while tanning. I was woken up by the flock of seagulls eating the bread from my stomach. Why was bread on my stomach? Because my little brother knows birds are my biggest fear. FML
by Nanana32 / 08/14/2013 at 4:28pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Animals
Today, I was having dinner with my boyfriend's family, and he was saying how well his driving lessons are going. During this conversation his mum told him to "stop blowing your own trumpet." He replied, "If I could do that, I wouldn't need Anna." His dad gave him a high-five. FML
by NoMoreTrumpetBlowing / 08/14/2013 at 12:22pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy
by GetHardOrGoHome / 03/31/2012 at 12:22am / United States (Ohio) / Health
Today, I got my foot stuck in the car seat belt. I kept pulling to loosen it up but it just kept getting tighter till my foot was in the air, so I started panicking and eventually started crying. My boyfriend had to pull over and save me from a seat belt. FML
by greeneyedpothead / 03/29/2012 at 2:33am / United States (California) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 01/31/2012 at 12:16am / United States (Ohio) / Kids
by embarrassed / 01/30/2012 at 10:54pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I spent two hours perfecting a really romantic text message to my boyfriend for our one year anniversary. I listed all the things I loved about him, and recalled some of our best times together. Two minutes after I sent it, he replied, "Huh?" FML
by upupandaway / 01/30/2012 at 6:51pm / United States (New York) / Love
by jjs51 / 01/23/2012 at 5:36pm / United States / Transportation
by milly / 12/20/2011 at 5:43am / Norway (More og Romsdal) / Miscellaneous
Today, I dressed up as Santa Claus for my employees' children. After seeing all the others, my daughter's turn arrived. She sat on my lap, put her lips to my ear, and whispered softly: "I want a new dad." FML
by perenoel / 12/03/2011 at 11:24am / France / Kids
by Username / 04/21/2011 at 2:30pm / United States / Intimacy
by Kim / 03/22/2011 at 2:30pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work
Today, I saw my dad's friend across the street working on my neighbor's roof. To continue the airsoft war we'd been having I shot at him with the sniper gun I bought. I hit him, and he fell off the roof. I ran over to see if he was ok. It wasn't my dad's friend. FML
by FailedSniper / 03/22/2011 at 12:31pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend in his bedroom. It was getting pretty intense, so he got up to close the door. While he was facing the other way, I took off my bra and sling-shot it so that it would hit him. Right when I let go of it, his mom walked in and it hit her in the face. FML
by Anonymous / 03/22/2011 at 1:54am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
- Today, I visited a new tattoo parlor, as my previous artist made me uncomfortable with his drunken,… Today my manager tried to force me to sign an employee contract (I've worked here a year) that she… Today, I found my daughters hiding spot. Yeah there was dolls, matchbox cars and coloring markers.…