About candicurl : Lame pun coon at your service!
candicurl's FML badges
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
candicurl's favorite FMLs
Today, I got a few notes from this girl I like at school for 2 years telling me she feels the same way. My dad knocks on the door and I panic and say "Hold on!". I shoved them under my pillow then told him to come in. He said "Son, it's perfectly normal to masturbate." FML
by Misunderstood / 02/08/2009 at 12:35am / United Kingdom (Leicester) / Love
by ruffrider / 02/05/2009 at 9:09am / United States (South Carolina) / Intimacy
by j0natron / 02/03/2009 at 3:30pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, my little sister and I were reading a book together and out of nowhere, she said "I love you". My heart melted and I told her that I love her too. Then she told me that she was talking to her stuffed animal, not me. FML
by Noname / 01/31/2009 at 11:29pm / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I drunkenly buried my girlfriend's recently deceased cat. Later she asked to see it and came back inside crying. It turns out I didn't bury it completely and its two back legs were poking out of the dirt. FML
by jf29 / 01/30/2009 at 7:49pm / United States (Ohio) / Animals
Today, I was woken up by my roommates cat meowing so loudly at her door, wanting in. Suddenly it stopped. I was just falling back into sleep when I rolled over and the cat was right there beside my head. Meowing. FML
by Noname / 01/30/2009 at 1:18pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals
Today, I sneezed so hard I herniated my back. After passing out from the pain I awoke on the floor covered in my own shit and piss. Unable to move, I had to wait in this state for four hours for my wife to return home from work, clean me up and take me to the hospital. FML
by Noname / 01/26/2009 at 7:02pm / Japan (Fukuoka) / Health
by william / 01/22/2009 at 6:22pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/20/2009 at 12:42am / Miscellaneous
Today, thinking I was being very generous, I lent my jacket to my new co-worker. I guess I should have checked my pockets before I did, I’m not sure that leaving 3 different flavors of condoms in them made a good impression. FML
by Lio / 11/12/2008 at 12:25am / Work
- Today, on the road in China, I committed a small offense. A cop saw me, stopped me and told me that… Today, a car almost hit me. Since I wasn’t hurt, the driver chased me with a baseball bat to finish… Today, I’m on vacation in Peru in the Amazonian forest. I woke up in the middle of the night to the…