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candicurl

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candicurl
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1552
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About candicurl : Lame pun coon at your service!

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candicurl's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at church and saw a blind teenager who obviously felt lost. Feeling like I should help I went over and asked if he needed anything. He said, "I can't find my caretaker." I asked, "What does she look like?" FML

#159157
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13396) - you deserved it (56719)

On 02/28/2009 at 2:59am - misc - by wideman (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was sitting in the living room with my parents when my dad asked my mom if she knew where he could find some double a batteries. She said to check my vibrator. He said he already did. FML

Today, I was a TA for a history class and the class was taking a test. About halfway through, I noticed one kid had a small piece of paper in his hand. I ran up the row, grabbed his test, and ripped it into four pieces. Then I took the note from him. It said "I believe in you, -Mom." FML

#142104
928 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67012) - you deserved it (403819)

On 02/26/2009 at 10:30am - work - by Noname - United States (Michigan)

Today, I asked a very cute fireman for his number "just in case I needed him to come to my rescue"... He told me "Yeah sure!" and scribbled it down. After he walked away I read his note: "911". FML

#125152
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16200) - you deserved it (43053)

On 02/24/2009 at 5:57pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I called the florist and ordered a flower arrangement for my grandma, who I was told was sick. I said I didn't know what to get her, so just to send her something nice. I got a call from my mom calling me an inconsiderate bastard. They sent my grandma forget-me-nots. She has Alzheimers. FML

#117948
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38756) - you deserved it (5940)

On 02/23/2009 at 9:22pm - misc - by Originality18 (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, after class I was chatting with my teacher, a really cool and stylish old black guy. I tell him he reminds me of one of those soul dudes from those 70s movies, right down to the pimp-walk. He tells me he walks that way because he was beaten for drinking out of the wrong fountain as a kid. FML

#115273
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17177) - you deserved it (38270)

On 02/23/2009 at 5:11pm - misc - by catfish - United States (Texas)

Today, while changing my tampon in the stall of my high school's bathroom, I lost control of the plastic applicator. The blood-covered apparatus shot out like a rocket underneath the stall door. For a moment I thought no one noticed, then the screaming began. FML

#99894
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46305) - you deserved it (4883)

On 02/21/2009 at 10:16pm - misc - by isuckatlife (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I cried and told him that I loved him. He gave me a quarter and told me to call someone who cared. I threw the quarter in his face and ran. I waited for the bus, but when I got on, I realized I was 25 cents short of the fare. I walked home in the rain. FML

#97632
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (239930) - you deserved it (43387)

On 02/21/2009 at 5:11pm - love - by GD (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I came to school late because I had to drop off my daughter at school. When I got on campus, the security told me I was late but I said, "Oh no, I work here." and he said, "Oh like I haven't heard that one before." And he took me to detention. My boss, the Principal, had to bail me out. FML

#94927
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42114) - you deserved it (2590)

On 02/21/2009 at 6:22am - work - by Lily (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my professor, who was born without arms, asked somebody "need a hand?" There are over 300 students in that class and I was the only one laughing. FML

Today, I visited my brother in jail for the first time. I didn't know what to say so I blurted out : "Are you having fun ?" FML

#76277
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9025) - you deserved it (37722)

On 02/19/2009 at 4:06am - misc - by cynicalcindy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got a "save the date" card for the wedding of a couple my husband knows. I was excited because I really wish to be better friends with these people. I emailed the bride, "I got your STD!" and hit send before I realized how that sounded. FML

#60508
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7950) - you deserved it (32308)

On 02/17/2009 at 12:11pm - misc - by silkytaco - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I fell asleep in my driver's ed class, and I woke up in a middle of a dream laughing. Everyone stared at me. I found out that the teacher had just finished talking about his vegetative niece who didn't wear a seat belt. FML

#43148
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13680) - you deserved it (31329)

On 02/14/2009 at 6:15pm - misc - by Biggest Jerk (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was volunteering at a nursing home calling bingo numbers. One woman stood up and started making noises, so I assumed she had won and started clapping. She then fell on the floor and died of a heart attack. I essentially applauded her death. FML

#32415
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77161) - you deserved it (9993)

On 02/12/2009 at 5:21pm - misc - by janedoe (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my tennis coach showed up to practice in an all white outfit. I exclaimed, "You're looking very white today!" He's African American. FML

#19641
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8423) - you deserved it (37080)

On 02/10/2009 at 12:59am - misc - by Tennisplayer (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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