About candicurl : Lame pun coon at your service!
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Who’s the fairest of them all?
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50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, I was sitting in the living room with my parents when my dad asked my mom if she knew where he could find some double a batteries. She said to check my vibrator. He said he already did. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55753) - you deserved it (6610)
On 02/26/2009 at 9:25pm - misc - by lifesux17 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was a TA for a history class and the class was taking a test. About halfway through, I noticed one kid had a small piece of paper in his hand. I ran up the row, grabbed his test, and ripped it into four pieces. Then I took the note from him. It said "I believe in you, -Mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (55573) - you deserved it (323770)
On 02/26/2009 at 10:30am - work - by Noname - United States (Michigan)
Today, I asked a very cute fireman for his number "just in case I needed him to come to my rescue"... He told me "Yeah sure!" and scribbled it down. After he walked away I read his note: "911". FML
I agree, your life sucks (13991) - you deserved it (38914)
On 02/24/2009 at 5:57pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I called the florist and ordered a flower arrangement for my grandma, who I was told was sick. I said I didn't know what to get her, so just to send her something nice. I got a call from my mom calling me an inconsiderate bastard. They sent my grandma forget-me-nots. She has Alzheimers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37992) - you deserved it (5894)
On 02/23/2009 at 9:22pm - misc - by Originality18 (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, after class I was chatting with my teacher, a really cool and stylish old black guy. I tell him he reminds me of one of those soul dudes from those 70s movies, right down to the pimp-walk. He tells me he walks that way because he was beaten for drinking out of the wrong fountain as a kid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16775) - you deserved it (37614)
On 02/23/2009 at 5:11pm - misc - by catfish - United States (Texas)
Today, while changing my tampon in the stall of my high school's bathroom, I lost control of the plastic applicator. The blood-covered apparatus shot out like a rocket underneath the stall door. For a moment I thought no one noticed, then the screaming began. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41922) - you deserved it (4262)
On 02/21/2009 at 10:16pm - misc - by isuckatlife (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I cried and told him that I loved him. He gave me a quarter and told me to call someone who cared. I threw the quarter in his face and ran. I waited for the bus, but when I got on, I realized I was 25 cents short of the fare. I walked home in the rain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (204239) - you deserved it (40392)
On 02/21/2009 at 5:11pm - love - by GD (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I came to school late because I had to drop off my daughter at school. When I got on campus, the security told me I was late but I said, "Oh no, I work here." and he said, "Oh like I haven't heard that one before." And he took me to detention. My boss, the Principal, had to bail me out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36716) - you deserved it (2047)
On 02/21/2009 at 6:22am - work - by Lily (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my professor, who was born without arms, asked somebody "need a hand?" There are over 300 students in that class and I was the only one laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12755) - you deserved it (43086)
On 02/19/2009 at 4:14pm - misc - by AppoKing (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I visited my brother in jail for the first time. I didn't know what to say so I blurted out : "Are you having fun ?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (8801) - you deserved it (37212)
On 02/19/2009 at 4:06am - misc - by cynicalcindy (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I got a "save the date" card for the wedding of a couple my husband knows. I was excited because I really wish to be better friends with these people. I emailed the bride, "I got your STD!" and hit send before I realized how that sounded. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7763) - you deserved it (31771)
On 02/17/2009 at 12:11pm - misc - by silkytaco - United States (Hawaii)
Today, I fell asleep in my driver's ed class, and I woke up in a middle of a dream laughing. Everyone stared at me. I found out that the teacher had just finished talking about his vegetative niece who didn't wear a seat belt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11603) - you deserved it (25635)
On 02/14/2009 at 6:15pm - misc - by Biggest Jerk (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was volunteering at a nursing home calling bingo numbers. One woman stood up and started making noises, so I assumed she had won and started clapping. She then fell on the floor and died of a heart attack. I essentially applauded her death. FML
I agree, your life sucks (70939) - you deserved it (8743)
On 02/12/2009 at 5:21pm - misc - by janedoe (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my tennis coach showed up to practice in an all white outfit. I exclaimed, "You're looking very white today!" He's African American. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7072) - you deserved it (33760)
On 02/10/2009 at 12:59am - misc - by Tennisplayer (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I got a few notes from this girl I like at school for 2 years telling me she feels the same way. My dad knocks on the door and I panic and say "Hold on!". I shoved them under my pillow then told him to come in. He said "Son, it's perfectly normal to masturbate." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24458) - you deserved it (8839)
On 02/08/2009 at 12:35am - misc - by Misunderstood (man) - United Kingdom (Leicester)
Monday 20 May 2013
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