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candicurl

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candicurl

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2140
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About candicurl : Lame pun coon at your service!

candicurl's page activity

Visits<b>jerryj</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 5:01am<b>RobotUnicorn1209</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 12:51pm<b>curticus</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 9:17pm<b>1915destroyer</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 1:50am<b>34pijachufan</b> - the 06/04/2014 at 3:37pm<b>rojdasoenmez</b> - the 03/17/2014 at 1:58am<b>tigerfish</b> - the 02/11/2014 at 12:34am<b>Leoandam</b> - the 02/04/2014 at 2:11am<b>dooropener</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 2:59pm<b>NandaPanda</b> - the 12/31/2013 at 7:04pm<b>Aleys</b> - the 11/03/2013 at 6:03pm<b>ExpressoGuts</b> - the 09/18/2013 at 8:30pm<b>Metroskydiver</b> - the 06/29/2013 at 1:49pm<b>Capernog</b> - the 05/30/2013 at 11:37pm<b>CaptainPickles72</b> - the 09/22/2011 at 4:47pm<b>mufcptc</b> - the 09/22/2011 at 10:48am<b>newzealand</b> - the 09/22/2011 at 8:11am<b>rhauiac</b> - the 09/15/2011 at 12:30am

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candicurl's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at my friends house celebrating his 16th birthday. I couldn't find my phone so I asked my friend's girl if I could borrow her phone to see if I could hear mine ringing. I dial my number and look down to find she has my number is saved in her phone as ASS FACE #3. FML

#574941
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62557) - you deserved it (9543)

On 03/24/2009 at 12:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I texted my boyfriend to see if he wanted to finally have sex today. His response was "Can't, Platinum just came out." I didn't know what that meant so I searched "Platinum 3-22-2009" on Google. I found out he's talking about a new Pokémon game. FML

#542382
455 comments

I agree, your life sucks (117146) - you deserved it (21623)

On 03/22/2009 at 10:15pm - intimacy - by thisreallysucks2 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got hypnotized in front of my entire school. Once I was hypnotized the guy told me that the hottest celebrity in the world was in the audience and then he told me to point out who I saw. I said I saw Mick Jagger. I'm a guy. FML

#500940
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64219) - you deserved it (9486)

On 03/20/2009 at 11:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was watching this TV show where a man was describing how much he loved this woman, how he made every opportunity to see her, and how he loved her in a way nobody else could. I smiled, because that's exactly the way I feel about my crush. Then I realized the program was about stalkers. FML

#438513
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73283) - you deserved it (28751)

On 03/18/2009 at 12:42pm - misc - by bluten (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was talking to this really nice guy who likes me, and he tells me he's packing. I asked him where he was going, he said Puerto Rico. And I said "LUCKY!" He replied "it's for the funeral". I forgot his grandma had died. FML

#429939
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12952) - you deserved it (57242)

On 03/17/2009 at 11:40pm - misc - by natalieeee (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to a party and the cops came to bust the party. I jumped out the window of a second story house in order to avoid getting arrested. I broke my leg in three places and got a concussion. The cops let everyone go with a warning. FML

#377584
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41209) - you deserved it (186688)

On 03/16/2009 at 12:02pm - misc - by natty (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was going to attempt to compliment my girlfriend, I planned on telling her that she smelled really nice. In a loving tone, I confidently told her, "Baby, you have a certain stench to you." FML

#318197
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17664) - you deserved it (109759)

On 03/14/2009 at 7:05am - love - by DSM (man) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I fell asleep in the car on a 10+ hour trip with my family as soon as we got on the highway. When I woke up an hour later, I realized I'd had a wet dream. I had to sit next to my grandma with semen all over my thighs and boxers for the rest of the trip. FML

#278978
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72996) - you deserved it (10365)

On 03/11/2009 at 8:30pm - misc - by MoneyMike (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went to visit my Grandmother, accidentally leaving my phone home during the weekend. When I got back I had 2 texts from my crush. One saying "I want to take the most beautiful girl to prom, go with me?" and the other saying, "Fine fattie, I'll ask someone else." FML

#229986
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71357) - you deserved it (6924)

On 03/06/2009 at 9:55pm - love - by promdump (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was writing an email to our entire company regarding a fundraiser we are taking part in for children and adults with disabilities. I was rushing to get the email out and hit send before I realized that instead of "Best Regards" I had typed "Best Retards" as the closing line. FML

#226271
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26733) - you deserved it (36993)

On 03/06/2009 at 1:53pm - work - by Can't Spell Worth A Damn (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was in the change room at the local YMCA. I went to use the hair dryer but couldn't because a naked old man was bent over, butt cheeks spread wide with his hands, and ass aimed at the dryer. He seemed to be enjoying it. FML

#216994
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53392) - you deserved it (3110)

On 03/05/2009 at 1:45pm - misc - by nuberific (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I drove my two kids to their friends' houses. In my convertible, looking what I though was my best, I slowed down outside a bar with cute 20 year old girls in front. My daughter noticed the speed reduction and said, "Keep driving dad, you're fat and mom left you for a reason." FML

#196936
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51150) - you deserved it (40181)

On 03/03/2009 at 4:27pm - kids - by Fat Dad (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I woke up at my boyfriend's place with grumbling stomach pains. I left him in bed to go have explosive diarreah in the bathroom next to his room. When I was done, I came back to bed and snuggled in next to his sleeping form and he rolled over to whisper, "I heard everthing." FML

#185544
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72864) - you deserved it (15793)

On 03/02/2009 at 4:51pm - love - by ohmygoodness (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my mom bought me a t-shirt from the store. It has the U.S. Marines logo on it and says "Marines' Girlfriend". I'm a straight 16 year old boy and my mom only reads and speaks Spanish. FML

#168522
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55408) - you deserved it (4275)

On 03/01/2009 at 3:49am - misc - by Elis (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I forgot to do my French homework, but since it was an online worksheet, I told my teacher my internet wasn't working. I told her with an e-mail. FML

#161178
999 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71371) - you deserved it (746449)

On 02/28/2009 at 2:07pm - misc - by ihavepinkbackpac (woman) - United States (California)



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