Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

candicurl

Search for a member

candicurl

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2039
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About candicurl : Lame pun coon at your service!

candicurl's page activity

Visits<b>jerryj</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 5:01am<b>RobotUnicorn1209</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 12:51pm<b>curticus</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 9:17pm<b>1915destroyer</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 1:50am<b>34pijachufan</b> - the 06/04/2014 at 3:37pm<b>rojdasoenmez</b> - the 03/17/2014 at 1:58am<b>tigerfish</b> - the 02/11/2014 at 12:34am<b>Leoandam</b> - the 02/04/2014 at 2:11am<b>dooropener</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 2:59pm<b>NandaPanda</b> - the 12/31/2013 at 7:04pm<b>Aleys</b> - the 11/03/2013 at 6:03pm<b>ExpressoGuts</b> - the 09/18/2013 at 8:30pm<b>Metroskydiver</b> - the 06/29/2013 at 1:49pm<b>Capernog</b> - the 05/30/2013 at 11:37pm<b>CaptainPickles72</b> - the 09/22/2011 at 4:47pm<b>mufcptc</b> - the 09/22/2011 at 10:48am<b>newzealand</b> - the 09/22/2011 at 8:11am<b>rhauiac</b> - the 09/15/2011 at 12:30am

candicurl's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of candicurl's badges

candicurl's favorite FMLs

Today, my grandma went to get birthday gifts for my twin sister and me. She returned with 2 shirts that read "I see you've met the twins" in big letters across the chest. She gave them to us and said, "Isn't this cute? 'cause you're twins!" I then had to explain to her what the shirt was actually referring to. FML

#4530948
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45778) - you deserved it (3661)

On 08/14/2009 at 5:57pm - misc - by twingirl (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I finally had sex with this great guy I've been seeing. I thought I'd found a catch. We get into his room, start kissing, and things heat up. Everything is perfect until he reaches under his bed, pulls out a doughnut and shoves it into my mouth, snarling, "eat it, eat it!" FML

#4499384
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67894) - you deserved it (7616)

On 08/13/2009 at 11:23am - intimacy - by esb (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I texted the man I'm dating, told him I was having a terrible day and asked him to say something to cheer me up. His response? "Did you know that rabbits shriek when they're killed?" I'm still having a terrible day, and now I can't stop thinking about dying, shrieking bunnies. FML

#4188521
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42387) - you deserved it (8571)

On 07/31/2009 at 6:46pm - love - by deadbunnies (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I told my boyfriend I was really horny. He then gave me the link to his favorite "porn". He said I should do it for him. It was a youtube video of some girl making a sandwich. FML

#4070299
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52164) - you deserved it (14232)

On 07/27/2009 at 1:06am - intimacy - by fmysexlife (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I went to a funeral for my coworker's father. While there, my dad's cell phone rang and he left to answer it. I turned to my brother and said, "I can't believe he brought his cell phone!" He whispered, "I can't believe he's got coverage. This is a dead zone!" I laughed loudly. At a funeral. FML

#4053619
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21908) - you deserved it (53508)

On 07/26/2009 at 1:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I passed a homeless person asking for change. When I politely apologized and told him I had none, he yelled angrily "who comes to this city without money?" I replied "apparently, you do." Wrong answer. He followed me, now screaming. FML

#4029321
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45489) - you deserved it (26247)

On 07/25/2009 at 12:39pm - money - by re2K5 (man) - Korea Republic of (Kyongsang-bukto)

Today, I opened some small cute birthday gifts at my boyfriend's house. As we left to go out, he slipped me a Tiffany box and said he wanted me to open it in private. Flushed and excited, I open it to find a ziploc filled with hair. It was his mustache I had been begging him to shave for months. FML

#3997843
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35154) - you deserved it (19008)

On 07/24/2009 at 2:31am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, for our one year anniversary, my boyfriend decided to make me a patchwork blanket. The thing is, the patches were stains from bedsheets from where the 'wet spot' was. He thought it was romantic. FML

#3960027
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49523) - you deserved it (5425)

On 07/22/2009 at 7:35pm - love - by OneYearMistake. (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I was going on a first date with a girl I really like. We were going to see the new Harry Potter movie, and she told me she was getting all dressed up. It was only after I picked her up I realized she meant that she was dressing nicely. I was dressed as Harry Potter. FML

#3866065
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27253) - you deserved it (59846)

On 07/18/2009 at 9:26pm - misc - by harrysolo (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I awoke to my husband donning a gorilla mask in the middle of the night. My kids have been staying in a tent out back for the past few nights, and have complained of a "monster" scaring them. I told them that it was their imagination. My husband says he gets a kick out of it. FML

#3837360
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44525) - you deserved it (6319)

On 07/17/2009 at 6:02pm - kids - by Divorcemenow (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I received a "diamond ring" in Mafia Wars (a facebook app) from my boyfriend of 3 years. Along with the ring came a message. It read, "Will you marry me?" He was serious. FML

#3827229
376 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55064) - you deserved it (9145)

On 07/17/2009 at 8:56am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend watching a movie, my boyfriend then leans in and says: "You know, you're my favourite girlfriend." I then jokingly responded by saying: "You say that like I'm not the only girlfriend you have right now." I hate being right. FML

#3741978
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56268) - you deserved it (4438)

On 07/14/2009 at 10:02am - misc - by dinapar (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my mum called and told me she had bought me a new, white dish washer for my apartment because it doesn't have one. I was SO excited and told her I'd pay her back as soon as I could. I only had to pay her $1.25. She bought me a sponge. FML

#3650725
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40106) - you deserved it (7818)

On 07/10/2009 at 9:09pm - money - by thanksalot (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: