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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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camraja901

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camraja901
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 332
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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camraja901's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job when she started crying. Despite my pleas for her to stop and attempts to comfort her, she insisted that she continue. I feel like a monster. FML

#18685700 (277)

I agree, your life sucks (11524) - you deserved it (1609)

On 01/02/2012 at 12:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend shoved a Q-tip up my ass while I was brushing my teeth. FML

#18449583 (266)

I agree, your life sucks (10009) - you deserved it (1726)

On 12/06/2011 at 11:39pm - intimacy - by Surprisebuttsecks? (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I took a major test, worth half my grade, not realizing that there were questions on the back of the sheet. FML

#18192880 (230)

I agree, your life sucks (6424) - you deserved it (9130)

On 11/08/2011 at 12:58pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got mugged by a guy who was threatening me with a stapler. FML

#18191865 (232)

I agree, your life sucks (20495) - you deserved it (5643)

On 11/08/2011 at 9:39am - misc - by StaplerScared - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was getting intimate with my husband on our anniversary day. He climbed on top of me and firmly placed his penis on my nose. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he burst into laughter and said I looked just like Squidward. FML

#18083202 (216)

I agree, your life sucks (27581) - you deserved it (3168)

On 10/26/2011 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had to escort some dumbass teenager from Home Depot after I found him masturbating in one of the model washrooms. FML

#17982026 (178)

I agree, your life sucks (11336) - you deserved it (882)

On 10/14/2011 at 12:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Reserved

Today, I wore my brand new Wonderbra to school. When I got home, my dad looked at me and started laughing hysterically. Between breaths, he asked if anyone actually thought my chest was that big and said "You know why it's called a Wonderbra? Guys take it off and wonder where your tits went." FML

#17953738 (502)

I agree, your life sucks (9970) - you deserved it (6572)

On 10/10/2011 at 6:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, during my first date with a girl I've liked for awhile, she tells me about some minor disabilities she was born with. Wanting to be honest with her too, I tell her I'm slightly autistic. Her response was, "I'm sorry this isn't going to work. I can't date a retard." I had to eat alone after that. FML

#17948133 (390)

I agree, your life sucks (16305) - you deserved it (1046)

On 10/09/2011 at 11:27pm - love - by DyingPlants (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was trying to find my first message on Facebook. When I was reaching the bottom, I saw a message from my old crush. It contained a paragraph confessing her love for me and asking me to write back. Don't know how I missed that one. FML

#17874875 (88)

I agree, your life sucks (12744) - you deserved it (1989)

On 09/30/2011 at 10:57pm - love - by lostlove (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I found out that the double spacing format in an essay refers to the space between each line, not the words. I've been pressing the space bar twice between each word all through high school and halfway through college. FML

#17821676 (132)

I agree, your life sucks (3534) - you deserved it (21782)

On 09/24/2011 at 2:47pm - misc - by essay2 - United States (California)

Today, I was at a bar with my friend, when I noticed a young lad at a table near to us. I thought it'd be funny to jeer and flick peanuts at him. I went to the restroom, only to come back to my friend face-down on the floor. Turns out the guy fucked him up instead, and now he won't talk to me. FML

#17752221 (223)

I agree, your life sucks (3808) - you deserved it (34582)

On 09/15/2011 at 5:22pm - misc - by Cooper491 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I walked into my dorm to find my roommate and his friends using my bass clarinet to smoke weed. FML

#17742835 (269)

I agree, your life sucks (23647) - you deserved it (3651)

On 09/14/2011 at 7:06am - misc - by funnymanjoe - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was jogging in the neighborhood. My new neighbor who lives three houses down clotheslines me and shouts, "You're the reason my wife won't have sex with me!" He then kicked me in the stomach and walked inside. Now I'm scared to leave my house. FML

#17742540 (173)

I agree, your life sucks (24576) - you deserved it (2111)

On 09/14/2011 at 4:34am - intimacy - by jumpedjogger - United States (Georgia)

Today, I apologized to the cat for walking into the laundry room while he was using the litter box. FML

#17734128 (134)

I agree, your life sucks (6820) - you deserved it (2789)

On 09/13/2011 at 2:05am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I received a rejection letter from a college that I'd applied to 6 years ago. FML

#17734053 (80)

I agree, your life sucks (21309) - you deserved it (1447)

On 09/13/2011 at 1:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States