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Today, I discovered that my 12-year-old son has secretly been printing out and selling copies of the suggestive photos from my camera that I'd taken for my husband. He's been selling them to kids at school for a dollar each. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9170) - you deserved it (19150)
On 10/05/2012 at 7:02pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I was invited to my boyfriend's house for dinner for the first time. His mom made a fantastic dinner, so I showed my appreciation by eating the lot. Apparently I was overdoing it because when I looked up everyone was staring. His dad muttered, "Slow the hell down." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9529) - you deserved it (15798)
On 10/05/2012 at 10:56am - misc - by OhMeGerd (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, a classmate came up to me, quickly shoved a dollar bill down my shirt, threw her arms around me and told me to pretend I was her boyfriend to avoid some other guy. Sad thing is, this is the first girl I've hugged in ages. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16132) - you deserved it (1375)
On 10/04/2012 at 1:09am - love - by nonfreehugs (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I used the phrase "bitch please" in real life. It was funny until the "bitch" bitch-slapped me in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5616) - you deserved it (18867)
On 10/03/2012 at 11:14pm - misc - by staticman101 - United States (Michigan)
Today, I used the phrase "bitch please" in real life. It was funny until the "bitch" bitch-slapped me in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5616) - you deserved it (18867)
On 10/03/2012 at 11:14pm - misc - by staticman101 - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was slapped by a fourteen-year-old girl because I was apparently "stealing her boyfriend." I'm twenty-five, and her boyfriend is my nephew. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22328) - you deserved it (1135)
On 10/03/2012 at 8:45pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my cat meowing, with her dilated vagina in my face, giving birth to her first litter of kittens. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28351) - you deserved it (4129)
On 10/03/2012 at 12:29pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I finally got my hands on the new iPhone 5, after I pulled it out of a patient's rectum. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26520) - you deserved it (1821)
On 10/02/2012 at 3:39pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)
Today, it was my uncle's funeral. I wasn't very close with him, but I still wanted to be respectful. My boyfriend, being the jackass that he is, was singing the Spider Pig song from The Simpsons under his breath while making his fingers walk up my leg, trying to get under my skirt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16969) - you deserved it (4629)
On 10/01/2012 at 12:23am - love - by SorryUncleTommy (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, as my girlfriend and I were making out, I slowly took my clothes off and revealed my body to her for the first time. She looked, smiled, and said reassuringly, "Aww, don't worry. I know how it's supposed to look." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20757) - you deserved it (2400)
On 09/30/2012 at 3:37pm - intimacy - by whatswrongwithit?:( (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I unintentionally moaned during my prostate exam. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24519) - you deserved it (4521)
On 09/28/2012 at 2:06pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands (Gelderland)
Today, my laptop got hit by a Trojan. Not the malware, but a used condom thrown from a car driving past as I sat on a street bench. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23410) - you deserved it (1469)
On 09/28/2012 at 4:24am - intimacy - by iNearlyHurled - United States
Today, my mom decided the time was right to give me the sex talk. Towards the end, I had to excuse myself to the bathroom. As I came back, I overheard my dad telling my mom that I'm so unpopular, the only time I'll get laid is when I'm being put in a coffin. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25983) - you deserved it (1613)
On 09/27/2012 at 4:14pm - intimacy - by linn (woman) - United States
Today, trying to be smooth, I slipped the girl I like a piece of paper with my phone number written on it. A while later, she slipped it back to me and left the room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7512) - you deserved it (12460)
On 09/22/2012 at 12:22pm - love - by pimpdaddyX (man) - Malaysia (Selangor)
Today, I woke up naked next to my gay roommate after a night of drinking. Neither he nor I remember anything. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17112) - you deserved it (16435)
On 09/22/2012 at 10:06am - intimacy - by holyshitbatman - United States (Illinois)
Friday 24 May 2013
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