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cameron50055's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 11/21/2013 at 5:30pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I watched a little girl laugh while giving bread to some pigeons at a bus stop. A bus then arrived. All the pigeons moved out of the away, except one. Its head got crushed by a wheel, and some blood splattered onto the little girl's shoes, who then screamed. With laughter. FML
by B_and_W / 11/21/2013 at 6:35am / France / Kids
Today, I was at a diner with friends when we decided to put our phones in the middle of the table on the basis that whoever looks at theirs first has to pay. It was going well, until someone rushed up behind me, slammed my face into the table and ran out with our 4 phones. FML
by Anonymous / 11/17/2013 at 4:59pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, a homeless guy asked me for a cigarette. Knowing that I only had a couple left in my pack, I gave it to him. He opened it, took one out and thanked me profusely. A bit surprised, I went on my way. Oh yes, that's right, the pack contained the money I'd withdrawn from an ATM. FML
by cAtaLanbLoOd / 10/24/2013 at 2:06am / France (Languedoc-Roussillon) / Money
Today, I slept over at my friend's house. Her dad made breakfast for us. While fixing a plate, my friend said, "Careful, my dad clips his nails in the kitchen." She said it with a sarcastic, joking tone, and laughed afterwards. While eating, I found a toenail in my food. Her response? "I told you." FML
by sleepysophie / 10/19/2013 at 11:04am / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous
by AlonsoKold / 07/25/2013 at 9:32pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
by Erica / 07/08/2013 at 1:27pm / United States (California) / Love
by young grandpa / 06/17/2013 at 6:49pm / United States (Georgia) / Kids
by tinypenis / 06/04/2013 at 8:15am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I decided I would try this feature on my banking app which lets me deposit checks by sending a picture of it. The instructions say to rip the check after depositing. The deposit didn't work and now I've got a ripped up paycheck. FML
by Checkless chick / 05/08/2013 at 6:21pm / United States / Money
by Wallz99 / 04/19/2013 at 2:00am / Pakistan (Azad Kashmir) / Intimacy
by OPhere / 04/15/2013 at 3:37am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boss threatened to fire me because of a tattoo I have. It's a small teddy bear on my leg with my parents' names on it. My workplace has no problems with tattoos, but my boss said it was "unoriginal and lame." It's a memorial tattoo; my parents died last year. FML
by Anonymous / 03/26/2013 at 10:54am / Finland (Southern Finland) / Work
Today, I was on the subway when I felt like I was going to faint. I got off the train at the next stop, walked to a bench, but fell over and passed out. When I woke up, I looked around at at least 25 people, who had stepped around me, passed out, in the middle of the platform. FML
by wowthanksworld / 03/22/2013 at 11:42am / United States / Transportation
Today, I walked into the room naked while my wife was on the computer to surprise her. She smiled, put down her laptop and left for the bathroom so I started jerking it in anticipation. It was really feeling good until my wife's best friend, who was on Skype, started giggling. FML
by fredo / 03/19/2013 at 8:31am / United States (Iowa) / Intimacy
- Today, while my wife was watching me get undressed she said "Bloody hell, you really are getting a… Today, my sister used my mobile phone to call her boyfriend who is married with children. His wife… Today, I went into my older brother's room to get a condom. This happened the other day too when my…