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I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Today, I went out to buy a bottle of wine and some condoms. As the cashier scanned the condoms, she snickered and muttered, "Yeah right." She was right; I really was just desperate to look like I have a sex life. I got so upset that I left my items and walked out with tears in my eyes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31089) - you deserved it (9180)
On 02/28/2013 at 7:48pm - misc - by useless pos (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I got talking to a pretty girl on the subway. Just as she was about to get off, I handed her my phone so that she could give me her number. She ran out with it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12679) - you deserved it (32196) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 02/26/2013 at 12:02am - love - by crétin-crédule - France (Limousin)
Today, while I was shaving my nether regions, my trimmer slipped and ate a chunk out of my balls, right beside a vein. I've been bleeding on and off for an hour, and the New Skin I tried isn't able to dry quickly enough. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27253) - you deserved it (5016)
On 02/24/2013 at 2:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, my brother accidentally hit me in the throat. After I stopped coughing, choking, and feeling like I was going to die, he came back into my room, quietly said "I know your weakness," and left. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24878) - you deserved it (2097)
On 02/23/2013 at 1:28am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)
Today, I moved in with my new dorm mate. I'm prone to very frequent panic attacks that can only be alleviated by cold air. My roommate is severely anemic, and has violent shivering fits when the temperature is below 80. No matter what, one of us is always shaking uncontrollably. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27929) - you deserved it (2528)
On 02/16/2013 at 3:47am - health - by Chuffberry - United States (Colorado)
Today, while at the store with my mom, we ran into the girl I recently confessed to being interested in. My mom decided to shout, "IS THAT HER?! IS THAT THE GIRL YOU LIKE?!" Embarrassed, I desperately told her to be quiet. She grounded me for being "rude" to her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27602) - you deserved it (2101)
On 02/15/2013 at 7:39pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Italy (Lombardia)
Today, I was walking to my dorm room while it was snowing heavily. I saw a girl in a wheelchair trying to get up a slippery incline. Being a good person, I asked to help. I'm a pretty weak guy, and I couldn't push her up. She wheeled away crying because she thought she was fat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30405) - you deserved it (4846)
On 02/12/2013 at 11:57pm - misc - by IMadeAHandicappedPersonCry - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I was walking with my friend. The girl in front of us had a really nice ass, so I turned to my friend and said, "Damn, she has a perfect ass." He replied, "That's a guy." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8493) - you deserved it (24006)
On 02/11/2013 at 9:30pm - misc - by notgay (man) - United States (New York)
Today, a girl came up to me on the street and said, "You have like no swag, bro." Feeling clever, I said, "At least I have a high school education." She then took out her work ID, showing me that she was a surgeon, flipped me off, then walked away saying, "This is totally going on Facebook." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23834) - you deserved it (21672)
On 02/11/2013 at 10:26am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I got permission from my parents for my boyfriend to stay over. Things got intimate, and I tried my hardest not to make too much noise. However, while having a post-sex cuddle, we heard my parents in the next room muttering about my "faking". FML
I agree, your life sucks (14416) - you deserved it (33692)
On 02/09/2013 at 12:08am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Somerset)
Today, after weeks of practice, I proudly did 9 chin-ups on my chin-up bar. As soon as I was done, my 11-year-old daughter came over and banged out 12 of them. Then she wiped her sweaty hands off and did 8 more. Then she gave me pointers on my technique. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23847) - you deserved it (4615)
On 02/04/2013 at 8:00pm - health - by WeakerThanaLittleGirl (man) - United States
Today, my friend asked me to fix his laptop for him because it is loaded with viruses. When I turned it on and started searching for the problem, I couldn't find it. Luckily I was able to find a video of him banging my girlfriend. We've been together for eight years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57502) - you deserved it (2014)
On 02/04/2013 at 3:17pm - intimacy - by hamandegger (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my loyalty and regularity at my local pizza place were noticed. The delivery guy, when bringing yet another order, asked me if the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were living with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21493) - you deserved it (7533) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/31/2013 at 7:26am - misc - by heallven - Sent from mobile version
Today, I went to my cousin's wedding. The groom walked over when the two of us were talking, took one good look at me, slapped me on the ass, and said, "You know, if I wasn't marrying Rose here, you'd be next." Yeah, about that: I'm a 16-year old guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30347) - you deserved it (3636)
On 01/30/2013 at 7:21am - love - by Denki (man) - China (Beijing)
Today, I got a text from an unknown number saying, "You shouldn't be eating that." I was eating a piece of chocolate, cheating on my diet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25604) - you deserved it (15179)
On 01/27/2013 at 12:38am - misc - by LucidNightmare - United States (Colorado)
Monday 17 June 2013
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