[fr]
[it]
[es2]
[tr]
[de]
[ru]
[se]

Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?
Email notification?

calmthefuck_down

Search for a member

calmthefuck_down
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 10747
  • Number of comments : 57
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

calmthefuck_down's last visitors

Melonncsm314heytherexojesseheathjESuS_lOVeS_mE69jrotcsuck

calmthefuck_down's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

calmthefuck_down's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at the lake watching a romantic sunset with my boyfriend. He tenderly started touching my thigh, then started shaking my leg to the rhythm while singing the J-E-L-L-O theme song. FML

#4570471 (116)

I agree, your life sucks (38326) - you deserved it (5737)

On 08/16/2009 at 10:32am - intimacy - by juliaspaperbags (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, brand new cocktail dress: $300. Matching peep toe heels: $100. Getting my hair done at the salon: $80. Treating myself to a mani/pedi: $50. When finally meeting the guy I have been chatting online with for 2 months, I find out hes my cousin: priceless. FML

#902467 (313)

I agree, your life sucks (119928) - you deserved it (40180)

On 04/10/2009 at 2:42pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I made the mistake of sneezing in front of a hyper religious customer, who for ten minutes blamed the incident of shifting weather patterns that signaled the return of Jesus, who was as she explained, upset about the abortion rates in America and President Obama. FML

#867771 (150)

I agree, your life sucks (57808) - you deserved it (3406)

On 04/08/2009 at 6:26am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while working at a Subway store right next to a big hospital, there was a big line of people all getting their subs toasted. Without turning around, I asked the next person in line, "I'll bet you want yours extra toasted?" She was a burns victim from the hospital. FML

#814481 (146)

I agree, your life sucks (30775) - you deserved it (56852)

On 04/05/2009 at 9:48am - work - by 00Evan (man) - Australia (Queensland)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was in IKEA, furniture shopping with my dad. He was looking at one couch that was particularly small. I said "dad that couch is for like a midget." I look over to see a midget looking at me, sitting on the same couch in a different color. He definitely heard me. FML

#809473 (135)

I agree, your life sucks (20249) - you deserved it (46754)

On 04/04/2009 at 11:40pm - misc - by Nikki (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, this girl and I were chilling in my apartment and things got heated up and we started making out. One thing lead to another and the next thing I knew she was giving me head. I was getting ready to bust when she stopped, looked up into my eyes and said "Do you believe in Jesus?" FML

#618909 (375)

I agree, your life sucks (138217) - you deserved it (18732)

On 03/26/2009 at 7:41am - intimacy - by JAY22 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, as I was getting my mail, I received a free coupon from a baby supply store saying "congratulations on your expectancy." Thinking it was a mistake, I showed my girlfriend, who I am living with. All she had to say was "Surprise!" FML

#492457 (106)

I agree, your life sucks (61429) - you deserved it (11168)

On 03/20/2009 at 5:04pm - kids - by daddy-to-be (man) - United States (New York)