callmeflower

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Offline (the 03/08/2014 at 7:37pm)

callmeflower

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 646
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About callmeflower : I like to be happy and I hope that's what I to you, as you to me.

callmeflower's page activity

Visits<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/18/2014 at 12:46am<b>redwednesday</b> - the 04/08/2014 at 9:07am

callmeflower's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

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50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

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callmeflower's favorite FMLs

Today, it was snowing. After answering a call, I put my phone into my jacket pocket, and hurried across the road. I quickly realised my phone hadn't slipped into my pocket after all, and I turned around in time to see a snowplow go by. I couldn't find my phone in the snowdrifts. FML

by shoopbadeewoop / 03/08/2014 at 4:43pm / Miscellaneous

Today, while on a date, I went to take a sip of my drink, but for some reason I expected a straw to be there. I ended up wiggling my tongue and mouth around my glass looking for it as I kept my eyes on my date. It must've looked like I was trying to be seductive in the creepiest way possible. FML

by cunning glassist / 03/08/2014 at 3:53pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, I got back from a two-week vacation. During my vacation, I had a friend from work watch my puppy. My puppy now likes him more than me, and won't stop whining sadly since he left. FML

by chuchundra / 03/08/2014 at 3:06pm / United States / Animals

Today, I started at my new job. My manager, upon meeting me, hugged me and sniffed my neck, then commented that I smelled "natural" and told me how much he loves that. I have to work with this creep until god knows when. FML

by kittykat033 / 03/08/2014 at 12:19pm / United States (Hawaii) / Work

Today, I told my boyfriend that I'm bisexual. He dumped me because apparently now there is "too much competition". FML

by biwhat / 03/08/2014 at 4:23am / Australia (Western Australia) / Love

Today, my 5-year-old son thought it'd be a good idea to pee into the heat vent in the hallway of our apartment building. The whole building now smells like urine. The landlord is a 6-foot ex-convict. He wants answers. FML

by Anonymous / 03/07/2014 at 8:16pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to mess around at my workplace's parking lot. Things got hot and steamy, but in the middle of it all, there came a bang at my car window. My frantic boss had seen us and thought I was being attacked. FML

by unknown / 03/07/2014 at 7:53pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I asked my boss for a few days off next week, because my grandmother passed away yesterday and I'll need to travel to attend the funeral. His response: "She's dead, you're not. You want time off, then quit." FML

by GLHan / 03/07/2014 at 5:31pm / United States (New York) / Work

Today, my kittens hunted and killed their first prey. My hamster. FML

by Chatons / 12/05/2013 at 1:52am / Switzerland / Animals

Today, I watched a little girl laugh while giving bread to some pigeons at a bus stop. A bus then arrived. All the pigeons moved out of the away, except one. Its head got crushed by a wheel, and some blood splattered onto the little girl's shoes, who then screamed. With laughter. FML

by B_and_W / 11/21/2013 at 6:35am / France / Kids

Today, I woke up to a very unpleasant feeling. Apparently, the tattoo I got on my arm a couple of days ago attracted hundreds of ants during its healing process. They were literally carrying away pieces of my skin. I can not get the feeling or image out of my head. FML

by aly55a_mariie / 08/20/2013 at 3:04pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend found out about my severe phobia of moths. It's so bad that I sometimes pass out. He caught a moth in a jar, and put it on my bedside table. I woke up, saw it, and had a panic attack. He recorded it all and wants to upload it to YouTube. FML

by Anonymous / 03/15/2013 at 2:05pm / United States / Health

Today, my mum excitedly discussed with me the prospect of starting a mother-son YouTube duo. Thinking she was joking, I went along with it. She is now installing a 24-hour webcam in the house to record our conversations, which she perceives as hilarious, and is going to upload them. FML

by Anonymous / 01/14/2013 at 5:06am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, a girl told me she couldn't text me anymore, because she was too tired and had to sleep. Over the next three hours, she updated her Facebook and Twitter accounts, and made a YouTube video of herself singing. FML

by Anonymous / 07/31/2012 at 12:17pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I tried to go to the gym, but I ended up watching cat videos on YouTube for three hours. FML

by latino14 / 06/15/2012 at 7:27am / United States (Maryland) / Health