Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

calliet145

Offline (5 hours ago) | Search for a member

calliet145

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 30 November 1991 (22 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 152
  • Number of comments : 38
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About calliet145 : Witty. Sarcastic. Blunt. I speak my mind...if you think that's me being a bitch, that's your problem :) I don't lie just to avoid offending someone.

If you message me, don't be a boring nitwit. To be honest, I really don't care how you are or what you're doing, and I doubt you actually care about those things with me either, so don't waste your time asking. If you don't have anything interesting/stimulating/worthwhile to say, do us both a favor and save your finger energy by not messaging me. :)

calliet145's page activity

Visits<b>wahjDeia</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 8:01am<b>Jaredphamtom</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 1:52pm<b>bjf21</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 10:00pm<b>tartar18</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 7:49pm<b>skychu</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 5:37pm<b>MortenM</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 4:27pm<b>arre2006</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 3:08pm<b>deedeedeniel</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 3:03pm<b>JeremyO777</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 1:59pm<b>staaacey</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 1:32pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 1:39pm<b>xDochx</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 12:21am<b>mandybuzz81</b> - the 04/24/2014 at 7:03am<b>d2d2d2</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 9:29pm<b>AFCCT</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 3:38pm<b>urinal_shitter</b> - the 03/26/2014 at 4:28pm<b>CheshireHalli</b> - the 03/26/2014 at 9:22am<b>mathen</b> - the 03/26/2014 at 4:45am

calliet145's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of calliet145's badges

calliet145's favorite FMLs

Today, a blonde tourist came up to me and asked me for directions to the nearest train station. I politely directed her there, and she left. Five minutes later, she came back and slapped me for not bringing her to an "English-speaking station". We're in China, lady. FML

#20567861
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38905) - you deserved it (2587)

On 03/31/2013 at 2:19am - misc - by dumb tourists (man) - China (Beijing)

Today, at my retail job, a woman came to my till with her purchases. After I scanned all her items, she handed me two small bags. One was filled with nickels and dimes. The other was filled with cents. Her total was $28.53. The coins amounted to $22.30. FML

#20490092
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29810) - you deserved it (2338)

On 02/02/2013 at 9:53am - work - by fuckedbyretail (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, the girl of my dreams asked me if I wanted to go biking with her. "Just the two of us," she said. I had to turn her down because I'm 17 years old and never learned how to ride a bike. FML

#20457168
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25250) - you deserved it (34176)

On 01/13/2013 at 1:25pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I decided to go to a UV-light party dressed all in white. Before leaving, my little brother dumped a glass of tomato juice over my head saying, "Now you look just like a used tampon!" FML

#20456974
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37953) - you deserved it (4782)

On 01/13/2013 at 10:49am - misc - by Mary - Czech Republic

Today, I caught my boyfriend wearing yoga pants and taking pictures of his butt to post on a "Girls in yoga pants" site. He saw my expression and said, "Nah, it's cool, I hid my junk so they'll think it's a chick!" FML

#20451178
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38984) - you deserved it (5369)

On 01/10/2013 at 12:09am - intimacy - by Amy (woman) - United States

Today, I went out to meet a wonderful woman I'd chatted with online. I did have a few fears about if she was really just some guy trying to make a fool out of me. When I met her, she really was a girl, and was happy to see me. Problem: she was actually 13. I'm 34. FML

#20444863
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26377) - you deserved it (8030)

On 01/06/2013 at 12:24pm - love - by lifsabtch (man) -

Today, was my birthday. Today was also the day that my mom's cat died four years ago. She was too busy crying and looking at old photos of her beloved cat to even wish me a happy birthday. FML

#20444416
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24726) - you deserved it (1921)

On 01/06/2013 at 12:59am - misc - by Birthday girl (woman) - United States (North Dakota)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: