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caliroberts8

Offline (the 08/12/2014 at 11:43pm) | Search for a member

caliroberts8

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  • Number of visits : 362
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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caliroberts8's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

caliroberts8's favorite FMLs

Today, I went in to see my piercer. He took one look at my piercing I got a few months ago and laughed saying "What a shit job, I'm sorry but that's pretty crappy because it's not even straight!" I then had to awkwardly explain it was indeed him who had pierced me. FML

#17602935
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29819) - you deserved it (3563)

On 08/28/2011 at 6:41am - misc - by piercingfreak (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, my grandpa told me what he'd do if he was president. I sat there for 30 minutes listening to how he'd get rid of prisons, send all the prisoners to a desert for 5 years and give them a gun to fight over. And then he'd surgically attach child molesters' penises to their foreheads. FML

#17556947
403 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30164) - you deserved it (5654)

On 08/23/2011 at 10:46am - intimacy - by Andrew (man) - United States

Today, while walking home, the gods were kind enough to grace me with the sight of an old man jogging past me in nothing but a pair of short shorts. The image of his balls swinging to and fro underneath like a pendulum has been forever burned into my retinas. FML

#17298408
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29734) - you deserved it (4872)

On 07/29/2011 at 2:26pm - misc - by someone - United States

Today, I saw a facebook status that said, 'Wedding today. Ugly people belong together.' I'm getting married today. FML

#17246888
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35788) - you deserved it (3299)

On 07/24/2011 at 10:53pm - love - by ugly (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was at my sister's wedding reception. My boyfriend of 3 years decided to give a toast to the happy couple. He was drunk and confessed his undying love to my sister. FML

#16643815
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43100) - you deserved it (3363)

On 06/13/2011 at 12:12pm - love - by Uhh (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, while changing a light bulb, I was electrocuted. I screamed before I blacked out. My entire family was home and heard me scream, but didn't come and check because they were too busy watching Glee. FML

#16122609
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41725) - you deserved it (6917)

On 05/10/2011 at 9:21pm - misc - by Burnt (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I witnessed two women in a catfight, ripping clothes off each other. This would have been great if the two women weren't my mom and my grandma. FML

#15917525
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39121) - you deserved it (3983)

On 04/25/2011 at 9:07am - misc - by Danny -

Today, I got my first kiss. He had an allergic reaction to my chapstick, and broke out in hives. FML

#15391522
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39571) - you deserved it (4618)

On 03/19/2011 at 11:30pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I got a call from my five-year-old son's principal, my son had pooped in the school yard then gave the teacher a ziploc bag and commanded her to pick it up. He said he was trying to imitate our dog. FML

#15328400
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36409) - you deserved it (5572)

On 03/15/2011 at 10:05pm - kids - by anonymous -

Today, I rushed my dog to the vet because he was foaming at the mouth. I returned home with a bill for $200 and a dog who apparently has a thing for marshmallows. FML

#15198573
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29192) - you deserved it (5761)

On 03/04/2011 at 5:57pm - money - by duncanisgey - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I was answering a text from one of my students asking me if they could re-take a test. I thought I'd texted back "No, you can't." Auto correct had used a more frequently used word: "No, you cunt." FML

#15184059
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37554) - you deserved it (23395)

On 03/03/2011 at 6:22am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a neighbor called the cops on me and my friends because we were "starting a fire" in the backyard. We were using a barbecue. FML

#15070074
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28178) - you deserved it (2511)

On 02/21/2011 at 9:21pm - misc - by EpicFailTime -

Today, I was walking in the park with my boyfriend of 3 years. He stopped and knelt down in front of me. I started to panic, then he told me to calm down, my shoe was untied. FML

#14908871
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29344) - you deserved it (11883)

On 02/09/2011 at 12:48pm - misc - by maddie! - United States (New York)

Today, while in my room sleeping, my little brother deemed it necessary to come in and drop a book on my face. When I sat up with a now bloody nose, he looked at me, pointed, and said "You've just been facebooked" and ran away giggling. FML

#14806356
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43268) - you deserved it (7930)

On 02/02/2011 at 12:57am - kids - by Malakai - United States

Today, my father had a dream that he'd lost me forever, and the pain was so unbearable, it woke him up. Turns out, the pain he was experiencing was just his bowels and he really needed to take a shit. This is the most affection I've ever received from my father. FML

#14398309
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24619) - you deserved it (2986)

On 12/30/2010 at 5:28pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Essex)



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