About calilovesneb : .
calilovesneb's FML badges
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
calilovesneb's favorite FMLs
Today, I was looking at my recommendations on Amazon, which included several vibrators. Just a few days earlier I was looking at books on anger management. Amazon thinks I need to get laid. They're right. FML
by Anonymous / 04/24/2009 at 6:53pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, I went to my son's soccer game. I cheered his name at the top my lungs and waved with a grin on my face. I saw him whisper something to a team mate so I watched the film my husband took later that night. His friend asked, "Who is that?" and my son replied, "I don't know some fat bitch." FML
by Anonymous / 04/22/2009 at 5:46pm / United States (Washington) / Kids
Today, was my birthday. I purposely didn't log onto facebook all day so that I could read all my birthday wishes at once. When I logged on at the end of the day I had one notification. My "friend" had commented on a picture of me, saying I looked like jabba the hut. FML
by happybirthday / 04/22/2009 at 3:42pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was talking to my boyfriend and he brushed my hair out of my eyes. Then he smiled and said "Your eyes are two different colors right now. One's blue, one's green..." I was so happy he still noticed the little things. Then he finished his sentence with "...ya know, like a dog." FML
by Anonymous / 04/03/2009 at 10:37am / United States (New York) / Love
Today, a 7-year-old girl came up to me and told me to go fuck myself. I told her to watch her language or else I'd tell her parents. Her mom happened to be nearby and actually heard the conversation; she came up to me and told me to go fuck myself as well. FML
by Wmsys32pr9 / 03/30/2009 at 1:06am / United States (Washington) / Kids
Today, I was playing with my kid cousin outside. It was warm, so I was wearing my new bikini, and felt pretty good about myself. She suddenly turns to me and asks: "How come your tits are so small when you have such a big belly?" FML
by Chubs / 03/29/2009 at 8:32am / Norway (Sor-Trondelag) / Kids
Today, is my 16th birthday. Thinking that my parents would be out of town for it like they had every other year, I decided it would be fun to tan nude in my backyard. Apparantly my parents set up a surprise party for my sweet 16. I was standing naked infront of half my school. FML
by badbirthday / 03/16/2009 at 4:51pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, in a very crowded public restroom at a sporting arena, after looking to the man using the urinal to his right, my 6 year old son turns to address me on his left and exclaims, "Daddy, that man's wiener is a lot bigger than yours!" The whole bathroom heard and looked immediately at me. FML
by SadDad / 03/05/2009 at 8:51pm / United States (Florida) / Kids
Today, I'm playing basketball with my little brother. After jokingly blocking his shot, he turns to me and says "You're a bitch." He's 6. After asking where he heard that word, he responded with "Daddy calls you that when you're not around." FML
by lifesucks4me / 02/23/2009 at 7:51am / United States (Kentucky) / Kids
by pchemist / 02/21/2009 at 7:13pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
by Kristina / 02/18/2009 at 4:09pm / United States (New York) / Health
by Mr. Hopeless / 02/13/2009 at 4:59pm / United States (Wyoming) / Intimacy
by chichi / 02/07/2009 at 3:09pm / United States (Florida) / Transportation
by Noname / 01/30/2009 at 2:06pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
by Noname / 01/22/2009 at 6:27pm / Canada (Alberta) / Love