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calilovesneb

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calilovesneb

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 22 May 1988 (26 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3176
  • Number of comments : 102
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

About calilovesneb : .

calilovesneb's page activity

Visits<b>mchael121989</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 3:25am<b>FunnyDude1215</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 1:53am<b>yoursmileishawt</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 9:39am<b>luminalunii69</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 11:03pm<b>insanecutie</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 10:50am<b>barkerman00</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 10:57pm<b>manchesterUK</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 5:00pm<b>gingerJ</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 9:19pm<b>miianah1</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 1:57am<b>ragingatheist</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 8:21am<b>SquidgyOmAm</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 6:21pm<b>Journiexo</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 8:08am<b>jcroisdale</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 1:29pm<b>Bricktothehead</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 6:59pm<b>sleepwalker13</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 11:56pm<b>gmcleod</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 12:35pm<b>gunner_12</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 10:24am<b>Alexis2742</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 11:21pm

Liked!<b>derp_taco</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 5:59am

calilovesneb's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

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You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of calilovesneb's badges

calilovesneb's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend's mother called her in the bedroom for a serious talk. I overheard them arguing and yelling at each other. It turns out her mother found a condom next to her garbage. We got caught because her cat swallowed the condom and threw it up. FML

#1520851
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54241) - you deserved it (18806)

On 05/01/2009 at 10:28am - intimacy - by badluckdrew (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was looking at my recommendations on Amazon, which included several vibrators. Just a few days earlier I was looking at books on anger management. Amazon thinks I need to get laid. They're right. FML

#1297315
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60567) - you deserved it (8269)

On 04/24/2009 at 6:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to my son's soccer game. I cheered his name at the top my lungs and waved with a grin on my face. I saw him whisper something to a team mate so I watched the film my husband took later that night. His friend asked, "Who is that?" and my son replied, "I don't know some fat bitch." FML

#1230911
266 comments

I agree, your life sucks (92561) - you deserved it (17342)

On 04/22/2009 at 5:46pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, was my birthday. I purposely didn't log onto facebook all day so that I could read all my birthday wishes at once. When I logged on at the end of the day I had one notification. My "friend" had commented on a picture of me, saying I looked like jabba the hut. FML

#1225689
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68790) - you deserved it (8564)

On 04/22/2009 at 3:42pm - misc - by happybirthday (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend and he brushed my hair out of my eyes. Then he smiled and said "Your eyes are two different colors right now. One's blue, one's green..." I was so happy he still noticed the little things. Then he finished his sentence with "...ya know, like a dog." FML

#780789
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54874) - you deserved it (5197)

On 04/03/2009 at 10:37am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was playing with my kid cousin outside. It was warm, so I was wearing my new bikini, and felt pretty good about myself. She suddenly turns to me and asks: "How come your tits are so small when you have such a big belly?" FML

#677101
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66897) - you deserved it (10295)

On 03/29/2009 at 8:32am - kids - by Chubs (woman) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)

Today, is my 16th birthday. Thinking that my parents would be out of town for it like they had every other year, I decided it would be fun to tan nude in my backyard. Apparantly my parents set up a surprise party for my sweet 16. I was standing naked infront of half my school. FML

#385817
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (113926) - you deserved it (43045)

On 03/16/2009 at 4:51pm - misc - by badbirthday (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, in a very crowded public restroom at a sporting arena, after looking to the man using the urinal to his right, my 6 year old son turns to address me on his left and exclaims, "Daddy, that man's wiener is a lot bigger than yours!" The whole bathroom heard and looked immediately at me. FML

#221148
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65085) - you deserved it (3728)

On 03/05/2009 at 8:51pm - kids - by SadDad - United States (Florida)

Today, I'm playing basketball with my little brother. After jokingly blocking his shot, he turns to me and says "You're a bitch." He's 6. After asking where he heard that word, he responded with "Daddy calls you that when you're not around." FML

#112335
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (143930) - you deserved it (11835)

On 02/23/2009 at 7:51am - kids - by lifesucks4me - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He said I was way too good at sex so I must have lied about not having much experience, and he "wouldn't be with someone who is hiding something." WTF? FML

#98497
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81621) - you deserved it (6245)

On 02/21/2009 at 7:13pm - intimacy - by pchemist (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I complimented my mom with "Hey, I think you lost some weight." She replied with "Yeah, I think you found it." FML

#69443
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42678) - you deserved it (6097)

On 02/18/2009 at 4:09pm - health - by Kristina (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I texted this girl I really like and she didn't answer. She did about two hours later and it said "sorry I was having sex at the time you texted me. So how are you?" FML

#38126
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40327) - you deserved it (3583)

On 02/13/2009 at 4:59pm - intimacy - by Mr. Hopeless (man) - United States (Wyoming)

Today, I went to Subway to grab some lunch. As I was paying, the cashier gave me a tip. He told me of a great acne medication that would do wonders. Thanks. FML

#13491
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25062) - you deserved it (2959)

On 02/07/2009 at 3:09pm - misc - by chichi (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got a haircut and the first thing the lady asked was "so do you want to keep the mullet?". What mullet?! FML

#3797
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17906) - you deserved it (4285)

On 01/30/2009 at 2:06pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Virginia)



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