Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

calilovesneb

Search for a member

calilovesneb
  • Town/Country : Los Angeles, The United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 22 May 1988 (25 years)
  • Number of visits : 2379
  • Number of comments : 102
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

About calilovesneb : .

calilovesneb's last visitors

Bafrinnemilycardona7mybarra6aelathehuntressPHPcoolsoccer1234RomeyRichIloveToLaugh143Fuaaad1994Errrka_WhaleEdogg215chylew

calilovesneb's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of calilovesneb's badges

calilovesneb's favorite FMLs

Today, I was checking out a gorgeous woman in spandex with beautiful flowing long black hair on the treadmill at the gym. I spent a few minutes just watching her body move and ripple under the material. She turned off the treadmill and got off, only for me to find out that it was a guy. FML

#8512491
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9778) - you deserved it (37709)

On 02/21/2010 at 10:16am - love - by anonymous - United States

Today, I was checking out a gorgeous woman in spandex with beautiful flowing long black hair on the treadmill at the gym. I spent a few minutes just watching her body move and ripple under the material. She turned off the treadmill and got off, only for me to find out that it was a guy. FML

#8512491
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9778) - you deserved it (37709)

On 02/21/2010 at 10:16am - love - by anonymous - United States

Today, I sat in bumper-to-bumper traffic for half an hour. The entire time, a man I had gone on a date with and that had gotten very out of hand with, was sitting in the car next to me. I noticed, panicked, and tried to drive off, rear-ending the car in front of me. FML

#8430182
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4875) - you deserved it (23335)

On 02/19/2010 at 12:13am - misc - by Skankeriffic (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I brought my new girlfriend over to show off to my family when my senile great-grandmother walked into the room wearing nothing but her underpants asking when the Olympics come on. FML

#8366162
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18415) - you deserved it (1688)

On 02/17/2010 at 2:30am - misc - by unfortunate419 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my very drunk mother decided to run down the block naked, screaming at the top of her lungs, "She's trying to kill me" as I followed behind her in my car, yelling for her to get in. FML

#8158295
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29067) - you deserved it (2195)

On 02/12/2010 at 2:51am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my dad thought it'd be funny to put an Edward Cullen cutout behind my car as I backed it out the garage to see my reaction. Oh it was funny alright, except I was so scared that when I saw him through the mirror I reacted by stepping on the gas. We now have half a garage door. FML

#7605430
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18785) - you deserved it (7149)

On 01/27/2010 at 1:21am - misc - by garage - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was in a shoe store. I picked up a shoe so I could look at it, but when I put it back on the shelf, the whole shelf fell down, making all the shoes fall to the ground. The people behind the counter started clapping. FML

#7090975
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20235) - you deserved it (3195)

On 01/01/2010 at 9:45pm - misc - by shoes (woman) - United States

Today, I found out where my $300 worth of American Eagle and Hollister clothes had disappeared to. My 16 year old sister shredded them with scissors, took pictures of it for her Myspace and said that I deserved it for being a "conformist." All her "internet friends" said it was awesome. FML

#6901032
462 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28719) - you deserved it (9178)

On 12/23/2009 at 11:05am - kids - by meep (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I finally came home from a semester of college, and all my parents and sister can talk about is how bad my acne has gotten. FML

#6824006
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23974) - you deserved it (2467)

On 12/19/2009 at 3:29am - misc - by honutattoo - United States (California)

Today, I really wanted something to drink. I looked in the fridge, and found some of my grandma's soy milk. I decide to take a swig, and instead of tasting soy, I tasted rotten chicken. Turns out my grandma knew I drink her soy milk and decided to swap it with expired chicken broth. FML

#6689235
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7919) - you deserved it (34274)

On 12/10/2009 at 12:41am - work - by souped (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I found out from my mom that the sweet smelling shampoo she bought recently belongs to Tammi. I've been using it for a week now. The chocolate drops I ate yesterday are also hers. Tammi is our pet Chihuahua. FML

#6648312
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17022) - you deserved it (7604)

On 12/07/2009 at 9:44am - misc - by cookiecrust (woman) - Singapore

Today, I learned explosive diarrhea is real. I felt it coming and dashed into our supermarket. 10 feet in, liquid poo started spewing down my pants legs. 150 feet to go. I ran. It ran. They watched. After 15 minutes of cleaning, I slunk out. Now, I have to find a new market, maybe a new town. FML

#6433881
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37198) - you deserved it (2819)

On 11/24/2009 at 6:44am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I found out that my dad has been having an affair. With my formerly favorite teacher. The best part? Yesterday, she announced to the class that she was pregnant. I clapped and congratulated her. FML

#6318893
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40140) - you deserved it (1815)

On 11/15/2009 at 10:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was talking to a friend of mine over webcam, when I saw a scary looking man in a grey hoodie creeping around in the background. I loudly proclaimed "Paige! Who is that creepy looking guy behind you?" Turns out it was her mom. She heard everything. FML

#6271933
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18104) - you deserved it (8707)

On 11/12/2009 at 12:34pm - misc - by Sursion (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I flew to see the guy that I've been in love with for 3 years. We spent the day at Walmart. To buy a plunger. After I blocked up the toilet. FML

#6110361
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27140) - you deserved it (7090)

On 11/01/2009 at 9:40pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Iowa)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: