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caligirl_88

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caligirl_88
  • Town/Country : Salinas, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 13 July 1988 (25 years)
  • Number of visits : 280
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Today, my older brother told me that no matter how fast you run at automatic sliding doors, they'll open in time. So I ran at a pair. They don't. FML

#3016666
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14122) - you deserved it (97533)

On 06/19/2009 at 12:04am - misc - by kat9232000 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had my first appearance in a court as an attorney. I called the prosecution the prostitution. FML

#2796637
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70141) - you deserved it (17110)

On 06/11/2009 at 7:52am - work - by apav (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my cousin and I found out that when a girl puts a flower in the right side of her hair, it means she's available. The bigger the flower, the more available she is. My eleven year old boy cousin told me to "cut down a palm tree and put it in my hair". FML

#2671287
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63054) - you deserved it (6438)

On 06/06/2009 at 8:38pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I witnessed a horrible car accident and was interviewed by the local news. During the interview I said, "It was terrible. It was like watching a silent movie... but there was sound!" The interview has been aired 6 times. FML

#2612293
322 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28746) - you deserved it (72682)

On 06/04/2009 at 9:07pm - misc - by LadyChristina25 - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I had to give a presentation about Adolf Hitler. I wanted to point out he was a very good speaker, and could incite a crowd. Instead, what came out was 'Hitler's oral skills made everyone go wild with excitement" FML

#2508726
300 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31737) - you deserved it (49740)

On 06/01/2009 at 7:12pm - misc - by Cail (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I got back my math test. Instead of taking the time to mark the mistakes, my professor just circled the bottom half of the page and wrote "OMG." FML

#853708
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (87994) - you deserved it (26170)

On 04/07/2009 at 2:37pm - work - by aviators (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I fell asleep in class. As a joke, my professor used an airhorn to wake me up. I got so freaked out that I punched the girl next to me in the face. She got knocked out. FML

#553935
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80720) - you deserved it (30129)

On 03/23/2009 at 3:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was in spanish class, having a debate about the death penalty. When I went to make a point, I meant to say "La pena de muerte", which means "The death penalty". I said, "La pene de muerte". Turns out that means, "The penis of death". FML

#206263
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22126) - you deserved it (36025)

On 03/04/2009 at 12:42pm - misc - by Señor Guapo (man) - United States (Missouri)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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