caliclaire

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caliclaire

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 346
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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caliclaire's FML badges

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I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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caliclaire's favorite FMLs

Today, I almost got kidnapped. Again. FML

by gonavybeatarmy / 05/31/2012 at 1:28am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 14-year-old brother told me he needed help with something "very personal." Thinking he wanted girlfriend advice or something, I said, "Sure, no problem". He wanted me to shave his butt crack. FML

by liquid_sasquatch / 05/29/2012 at 6:40pm / United States / Kids

Today, it's my birthday. All I wanted was birthday sex, but all my boyfriend could talk about was how great the new purse he got me was. I think he might like it more than me. FML

by Anonymous / 05/13/2012 at 8:25pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, I was walking to the bus stop when someone slapped an innocent person in the face with a fish. I was that innocent person. FML

by lolwtfbbq444 / 01/15/2012 at 5:24am / Australia / Miscellaneous

Today, I was cleaning mouse remains from the kitchen floor, left by my cat. I found a small round thing nearby. With no idea what it was, I picked it up and gave it a little squeeze to see if it was solid. It wasn't, and burst with great force onto my face. I'm pretty sure it was an eye. FML

by yuck / 11/15/2011 at 9:38am / United Kingdom (Bolton) / Animals

Today, at the nail salon, a Korean woman was making fun of me. I kindly told her, in Korean, that I understood. She kindly told me, in English, that she didn't care. FML

by EunJung / 11/03/2011 at 8:16pm / United States / Work

Today, my girlfriend told me she knows I've been cheating on her, and is desperate to prove she's "better than that other slut, or it's over between us." I've been pushed down and forcefully kissed ten times now. All because she saw a pic online of me kissing a girl. It was her. FML

by waj9876 / 09/08/2011 at 8:34pm / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy

Today, while flicking my bean, I was thinking about my boyfriend who moved to California last week. Before I came, I had to stop because I started crying. FML

by Anonymous / 08/14/2011 at 8:25pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my kitchen is flooded, and according to my landlord, this is normal, because it rained last night. Funny, I thought the purpose of a roof was to stop water from getting in. Guess I was wrong. Silly me. FML

by Anonymous / 06/08/2011 at 7:22am / France / Miscellaneous

Today, I was on a walk when I ran into the woman whose kids I babysit. We had a quick chat, and I noticed she had just blown her driveway clean. As I left, I said "You did a nice blow job!" FML

by babysitter / 01/06/2011 at 12:57am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I asked my boyfriend why he chose me out of all the hotter girls out there. He told me it's because I have great birthing hips. Apparently I'm having six children. FML

by louise. / 10/18/2010 at 5:06am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, I introduced my family to beerpong. They especially liked the part about distracting each other while shooting. My grandma flashed me. FML

by ScarredForLife / 12/25/2009 at 1:28am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, the weird receptionist at the hotel I'm staying at asked me if I needed an extra blanket because I "looked cold in my sleep last night". FML

by scaredtosleep / 09/24/2009 at 5:50am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized that the shorts I have been wearing all day say "Juicy" on the ass. My name is John. FML

by JuicyJohn / 09/08/2009 at 9:33pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was walking with my boyfriend down the street and a really hot guy walked past with no shirt on. While distracted by his hardened stomach muscles, I promptly walked into a pole, then became single. FML

by Anonymous / 09/02/2009 at 5:21am / Australia / Miscellaneous