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calebepps

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calebepps

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  • Number of visits : 48
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calebepps's favorite FMLs

Today, at the gas station, the automatic door didn't open when I approached it. I asked the cashier to open it for me, joking that because I'm a redhead, I didn't have a soul and it wouldn't open for me. The cashier freaked and wouldn't let me go until I proved I had a soul. FML

#20199980
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25660) - you deserved it (5166)

On 12/11/2012 at 1:07am - misc - by Devil (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was excited to get my first writing assignment since starting law school. I found out that I have to write a paper defending free speech. This wouldn't be a problem if I didn't have to defend the Westboro Baptist Church and if I weren't a former Marine. FML

#20079105
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29095) - you deserved it (3017)

On 09/19/2012 at 10:54am - misc - by LawStudent (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I spent five minutes sitting in my car, panicking and tearing my purse apart because I couldn't find my keys. I then found them. They were in the ignition, and the car was running. FML

#20066828
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6558) - you deserved it (26225)

On 09/10/2012 at 10:04pm - misc - by mrs14 - United States

Today, while getting pretty intimate with my newlywed wife in the car, a cop turned his lights on. As he was walking up, I was trying to get my pants back on but they wouldn't fit over my knees. The cop just laughed and walked away. Turns out my wife had my pants on and I was trying to put hers on. FML

#20048187
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28938) - you deserved it (6888)

On 08/29/2012 at 5:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend got a hotel room with a jacuzzi, drinks, and tickets to Six Flags for my birthday. He is currently passed out drunk on the other side of the bed, cursing me out in his sleep. FML

#20031154
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21288) - you deserved it (2289)

On 08/20/2012 at 1:00am - misc - by anon (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, wanting to be romantic, I came home with flowers, and told my girlfriend I love her and that I never want us to fall apart. Before I could finish my second sentence, she farted, said, "Aww, that's so sweet" and quickly excused herself to the bathroom. FML

#20021274
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21588) - you deserved it (2462)

On 08/14/2012 at 8:12pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I walked in on my fifteen-year-old son and his friends attempting to set up a rudimentary meth lab in his bedroom. I'm not sure whether to be angrier that they simply tried this, or that they thought burning up baking soda would somehow produce methamphetamine. FML

#20017485
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23888) - you deserved it (2385)

On 08/12/2012 at 8:49pm - kids - by JAdams (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I told my son to go clean his mess of a room. He yelled, "Dobby has no master! Dobby is a free elf!" and walked off. He turned 18 a week ago. FML

#19983117
321 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26134) - you deserved it (12393)

On 07/25/2012 at 6:54am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was in the hospital. I had recently broken my arm, and had to have it re-broken. I've secretly been a lesbian for years. Guess who came out to her strict Christian parents while on anesthetics. FML

#19982177
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31463) - you deserved it (4464)

On 07/24/2012 at 7:44pm - love - by Arthurie (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I have never read any of the Harry Potter books. FML

#18781684
532 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30100) - you deserved it (53508)

On 01/12/2012 at 12:36am - love - by Nate (man) - United States

Today, I learned that my girlfriend is cheating on me when she was arrested for having sex in public. Not with me though. FML

#17173696
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41108) - you deserved it (3238)

On 07/19/2011 at 3:40am - intimacy - by ken - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found out apparently I sleep walk. My boyfriend has been filming me and uploading it all to Youtube. FML

#14356668
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26919) - you deserved it (4059)

On 12/27/2010 at 12:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)

Today, my boyfriend of two years called me on Skype while he was taking a crap. Think it's a sign that maybe we've been dating for too long. FML

#14091257
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23948) - you deserved it (5152)

On 12/05/2010 at 1:35am - love - by fail (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my girlfriend actually walked into a door and gave herself a black eye. She's too embarrassed to admit it, so she's telling everyone I beat her. FML

#10760568
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56471) - you deserved it (3534)

On 05/25/2010 at 7:06pm - love - by DHarman (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I went to the store to get Valentine's Day gifts to decorate my boyfriend's and my new apartment. He was there shopping with his wife. FML

#7846539
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34558) - you deserved it (4519)

On 02/03/2010 at 1:47pm - love - by fantastic - Sent from mobile version



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