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calamito

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calamito

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 13 February 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2201
  • Number of comments : 28
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About calamito : I'm no one special.

calamito's page activity

Visits<b>BEASTSLAYER2474</b> - the 03/02/2014 at 8:00pm<b>waffule365</b> - the 04/26/2013 at 6:01am<b>fightingkittens</b> - the 09/29/2012 at 1:32pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:17pm<b>CeeCee</b> - the 02/21/2011 at 8:40pm<b>Watchmaker</b> - the 12/25/2010 at 1:04pm<b>ggriffin</b> - the 12/19/2010 at 3:30am<b>281go</b> - the 07/07/2010 at 12:48am<b>Ohmar</b> - the 07/04/2010 at 10:19am<b>Siouxie</b> - the 05/04/2010 at 12:22am<b>strength413</b> - the 05/03/2010 at 8:27pm<b>danielle31</b> - the 05/03/2010 at 7:04pm<b>misha1995</b> - the 05/03/2010 at 5:54pm<b>unholy_mushrooms</b> - the 05/03/2010 at 5:47pm<b>hawaii_love</b> - the 05/03/2010 at 4:19pm<b>gravygecko</b> - the 05/03/2010 at 2:36pm<b>DncrHap</b> - the 05/03/2010 at 1:14pm<b>krisb1991</b> - the 05/03/2010 at 11:46am

calamito's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

calamito's favorite FMLs

Today, I was riding in the car with my boyfriend. While he was driving, I held out my hand as an offer for him to hold it. Instead, he grabs me by the wrist and shoves my hand down his pants. Lovely. FML

#3890479
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42638) - you deserved it (17833)

On 07/19/2009 at 9:23pm - love - by DanceOnTheEdge (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my friend gave me a fortune cookie that said, "Don't be saddened by an upcoming event". Three hours later my girlfriend broke up with me because she said I was too superstitious. FML

#3793812
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40102) - you deserved it (5764)

On 07/16/2009 at 3:08am - misc - by joking0303 (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, while riding on the car with my family, I put on my headphones and pretended to be listening to music and when my parents talked to me, I pretended I couldn't hear them. They took this opportunity to discuss how fat I was and how I can't hold down a boyfriend. They were laughing as well. FML

#3718227
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49376) - you deserved it (20077)

On 07/13/2009 at 2:33pm - misc - by Solemnwishing (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I had my first kiss at a party. Later, I was told that the guy had been dared to kiss the ugliest girl in the room. FML

#3714352
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70317) - you deserved it (6008)

On 07/13/2009 at 11:00am - misc - by FirstKiss (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, it started raining unexpectedly. My daughter and I didn't have an umbrella, so my daughter raised one of my big flabby arms and put it over her head to protect her from the rain. It worked. FML

#3712266
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23284) - you deserved it (40591)

On 07/13/2009 at 7:30am - health - by letsloseweight (woman) - Korea Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi)

Today, I was at a party at the house of the guy I really like. We were talking when he pulled me into his room. I was excited he was finally taking our friendship to the next level, until he handed me a stick of deodorant, saying "I didn't wanna tell you in the hallway, but you really need this." FML

#3698192
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40452) - you deserved it (19528)

On 07/12/2009 at 8:41pm - love - by Dee (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my mom turned to me and said, "You know, you're the kind of person that has to change literally everything about themselves to get a guy to like you." I thought she was joking so I laughed. She then said "Like that. Your laugh... What is that? Change that." FML

#3587785
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66073) - you deserved it (4932)

On 07/08/2009 at 5:43pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, our favorite teacher walked into our history class and everyone started whistling, I decided to join in by screaming 'sexy'. The room went quiet and all heads turned to me. FML

#3266554
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10362) - you deserved it (72441)

On 06/27/2009 at 2:33am - misc - by mtorres8789 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found my long lost diary and curiously read it. What's worse than finding out that your mother read your diary? Finding out that your mother wrote comments in it. FML

#3205233
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60856) - you deserved it (3644)

On 06/25/2009 at 3:15pm - misc - by Emptyspace (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found a note on my door that said "You're the sexiest person I've ever stalked". Later, I found another note that said "Sorry, that was meant for your roommate. You aren't my type." Not even a creepy stalker thinks I'm attractive. FML

#3041162
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45384) - you deserved it (3327)

On 06/19/2009 at 8:28pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I went commando because its 98 degrees and sweaty boxers are a pain. While walking to class at UT I heard a girl laugh behind me, I turned and flashed a quick smile and kept walking. It turns out I had sweat through my khakis and she totally could see my crack. Texas weather sucks. FML

#2968548
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16892) - you deserved it (43692)

On 06/17/2009 at 1:44pm - misc - by Longhorn2011 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I asked my Swedish friend for some lines to impress this swedish girl I met at an expat party he took me to. I practised them all evening before I met her. I told her my feelings, and she scowled. Apparently I had wished the devil upon her - after asking if i could ejaculate on her face. FML

#2964628
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48746) - you deserved it (20736)

On 06/17/2009 at 10:57am - intimacy - by Dirtyswede (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I gave a beautiful book of baby names to a friend of mine who's been trying to get pregnant for a while. She just burst into tears when she saw it. Just before meeting me, she'd found out she was sterile. FML

#2962771
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50978) - you deserved it (6425)

On 06/17/2009 at 8:27am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, while working in a restaurant, I took an elderly man to his table under a red colored lamp. He asked me if this was "the red light district." I thought he was just kidding until when I was placing down the menus he leaned in and whispered creepily in my ear, "You know, you're really sexy." FML

#2960234
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37592) - you deserved it (2596)

On 06/17/2009 at 3:12am - intimacy - by creepedouthostess (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was reading a book lying in my bed. I looked outside my window not to see the beautiful weather, but to see my creepy 70 year old neighbor staring at me with giant binaculars, then winks at me. I babysit his grandchildren this weekend, at his house. FML

#2959400
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38643) - you deserved it (2117)

On 06/17/2009 at 12:56am - misc - by Siehidbkdnd (woman) - United States (North Carolina)



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