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cakecastle's favorite FMLs
by almost_a_pro / 04/23/2015 at 9:43am / Brazil (Rio de Janeiro) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went on a date with a girl I like. Afterwards, I drove her home, and we just sat there awkwardly. I thought she wanted to kiss me but was nervous, so I jokingly said "What're you waiting for? Christmas?" I guess she took that as a "Get the hell out", because she broke into tears and left. FML
by fuck / 04/18/2015 at 10:38am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
by Heart-Broken / 04/08/2015 at 9:58pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love
by Anonymous / 04/08/2015 at 1:19pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
Today, I picked up a rock outside and put it in my pocket because it looked cool. A teacher holding the door open stopped me and sent me to the principal. I was confused and asked the teacher why the strict action. She replied that someone has been putting rocks in the toilet. I got a detention. FML
by overreacting / 04/03/2015 at 2:08am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
Today, I got an expensive return bus ticket to visit my family 200 miles away. I accidentally tore the ticket when taking it from the machine, but the driver said not to worry, as it would still be accepted on the way back. Guess who's still 200 miles from home. FML
by dumbbus / 04/01/2015 at 7:24pm / United Kingdom (Stockton-on-Tees) / Transportation
Today, a really drunk couple staggered into the store I work at. One of them yelled at me, "Hey you! Kid! Tell us where the booze is at!" This would have been funny if these people weren't my parents. FML
by DrunkParents / 03/31/2015 at 7:32pm / United States (Montana) / Work
by billy / 03/31/2015 at 6:54am / United States (Massachusetts) / Health
by oops / 03/30/2015 at 9:52pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy
Today, I was in a public restroom taking a poop and as I started unrolling the toilet paper, the whole roll fell off the handle and rolled out underneath the cubicle door. I heard somebody laugh at me. Nobody helped. FML
by ToiletRoll / 03/29/2015 at 8:49am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was playing Dance Dance Revolution in an arcade when a woman came up and asked me if playing it was my job. I laughed but then realized that it is actually the closest thing I have to a job. FML
by DDRFreak / 03/19/2015 at 5:49pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
Today, I took my son to the playground and watched him have fun. Minutes later, I was being shoved around and called a pedophile because I was there alone with no wife. By the time I convinced them I was innocent, my son was bawling. FML
by pledonasm / 03/15/2015 at 12:11pm / India (Maharashtra) / Kids
by nerderer / 03/15/2015 at 10:57am / United States (Minnesota) / Health
by Anonymous / 03/14/2015 at 11:02pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 03/13/2015 at 3:35pm / Bahrain (Al Manamah) / Intimacy
- 1Today, I found out my parents have been slipping birth control pills into my morning orange juice… 2Today, I found out my husband has been catfishing my sixteen year-old brother for over a year. FML 3Today, I babysat a kid who was such a bratty little prick that I actually considered walking out on…
- Today, I got a letter saying I have got a 1.55% pay rise which is an extra £24 per month. I should… Today, after months of hard training to reach my athletic goals and to help with body image issues,… Today, I realized I despise most of my friends and will do anything to avoid them. Including hiding…