Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

cakecastle

Offline (16 hours ago) | Search for a member

cakecastle

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 16 May 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 845
  • Number of comments : 69
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About cakecastle : fuck you

cakecastle's page activity

Visits<b>iAshelle</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 4:01am<b>dabears1011234</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 3:38am<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 11:38am<b>DarkSmoke591</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 2:51am<b>The_Sphee</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 10:29am<b>FML64128</b> - the 04/12/2014 at 3:32pm<b>zachari179</b> - the 04/10/2014 at 3:09pm<b>wanted_2_want</b> - the 04/10/2014 at 10:00am<b>82_08stateofmind</b> - the 03/24/2014 at 12:43am<b>Katiekhalifa</b> - the 03/16/2014 at 5:53pm<b>ninjakitten</b> - the 03/15/2014 at 1:28pm<b>mesutozil11</b> - the 11/16/2013 at 10:38pm<b>454ss</b> - the 10/09/2013 at 7:28am<b>deckerge</b> - the 09/10/2013 at 6:42am<b>Broadway_Vayne</b> - the 08/15/2013 at 12:37pm<b>Careycaryn1997</b> - the 08/09/2013 at 11:52pm<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 08/09/2013 at 10:39am<b>merik225</b> - the 07/31/2013 at 10:16pm

cakecastle's FML badges

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of cakecastle's badges

cakecastle's favorite FMLs

Today, one of my year 9 students finished the test an hour early. He decided to spend the time by "stealthily" whacking off. His entire desk was shaking in a silent room. FML

Today, a guy asked for my number at the grocery store, but I politely told him I wasn't interested. He followed me home and took a shit on my doorstep. FML

#21137065
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51835) - you deserved it (7189)

On 05/11/2014 at 8:14pm - love - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Hawke's Bay)

Today, I realised the only preparation I've done for my final French exam has been wanking off to French porn. FML

#21135849
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22724) - you deserved it (53356)

On 05/10/2014 at 4:52pm - intimacy - by vivelawank - United Kingdom

Today, while at work as a telemarketer, I called a customer on his home phone. Once I was connected, an automated voice said, "To speak with a customer, please press 1." Confused, I pressed one. I then heard loud laughter followed by, "Oh my god! What a dumbass!" before they hung up. FML

#21133762
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37764) - you deserved it (20052)

On 05/07/2014 at 11:57pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got a new dentist. You know how most dentists play soft, relaxing music? Well this guy seems to like rap a lot, and it's kinda hard getting your teeth cleaned to the sound of bullets going off. FML

#21131626
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38725) - you deserved it (4261)

On 05/05/2014 at 5:51pm - health - by randomusername99 - United States (New York)

Today, my art teacher showed off a painting of his name he got in Japan. I can read Japanese, and it actually says "Old idiot". I really don't want to break it to him. FML

#21130223
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45199) - you deserved it (4736)

On 05/04/2014 at 2:12am - misc - by Sam (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my mom discovered a new way to get over her breakup: yodelling. FML

#21129926
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38474) - you deserved it (3126)

On 05/03/2014 at 7:51pm - misc - by shylahrc - United States

Today, I didn't pay enough attention while sending a music file to be used in a powerful video my class-mates and I made about the Syrian civil war. Instead of a moving classical track, viewers were shown graphic scenes of devastation to the tune of Gangnam Style. FML

#21128082
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23657) - you deserved it (34263)

On 05/01/2014 at 4:10pm - work - by Mortifiedcharityworker (woman) - Austria

Today, I hurt my back, and now I have to lie on my stomach for twenty minutes every hour so I can ice the pain. My boyfriend won't stop using my ass as bongo drums every time. FML

#21127987
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40105) - you deserved it (6973)

On 05/01/2014 at 1:31pm - misc - by booty backfire - United States

Today, I finally worked up the guts to add the guy I like on Facebook. To make it less obvious, I added 15 other people as well. Everyone added me back, except him. FML

#21125472
120 comments

Today, I had just sat down in the lobby of my doctor's office when my phone alerted me that I had a friend request. I checked; it was from some girl from high school. I muttered to myself, "I don't want to be your friend." I then heard a gasp. She was sitting across from me. FML

Today, I had to take an urgent dump at work. I noticed too late there was no toilet paper left, so I had to risk doing a quick "pants around the knees" shuffle to the next stall. I locked eyes with the window cleaner at the same time I heard someone enter from behind me. FML

#21123743
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40033) - you deserved it (6721)

On 04/26/2014 at 7:29pm - work - by caught out - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I decided to be nice and pay a visit to my grandma. We ended up playing Scrabble. In between passing wind that smelled like rotting eggs, she kept playing the filthiest words she could, and yelled at me whenever I checked to see if they were in the Scrabble dictionary. FML

#21118282
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35772) - you deserved it (4672)

On 04/20/2014 at 5:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - Slovenia (Domzale Commune)

Today, I decided to be nice and pay a visit to my grandma. We ended up playing Scrabble. In between passing wind that smelled like rotting eggs, she kept playing the filthiest words she could, and yelled at me whenever I checked to see if they were in the Scrabble dictionary. FML

#21118282
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35772) - you deserved it (4672)

On 04/20/2014 at 5:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - Slovenia (Domzale Commune)

Today, my dad made me stick my gut out and walk around awkwardly, just so I'd look pregnant and let him get away with parking in an "expectant mothers" parking spot. FML

#21118067
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39076) - you deserved it (4398)

On 04/20/2014 at 1:21pm - misc - by Not-pregnant (woman) - United States (Florida)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: