Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

cakecastle

Offline (2 hours ago) | Search for a member

cakecastle

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 16 May 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 865
  • Number of comments : 69
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About cakecastle : fuck you

cakecastle's page activity

Visits<b>iAshelle</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 4:01am<b>dabears1011234</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 3:38am<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 11:38am<b>DarkSmoke591</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 2:51am<b>The_Sphee</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 10:29am<b>FML64128</b> - the 04/12/2014 at 3:32pm<b>zachari179</b> - the 04/10/2014 at 3:09pm<b>wanted_2_want</b> - the 04/10/2014 at 10:00am<b>82_08stateofmind</b> - the 03/24/2014 at 12:43am<b>Katiekhalifa</b> - the 03/16/2014 at 5:53pm<b>ninjakitten</b> - the 03/15/2014 at 1:28pm<b>mesutozil11</b> - the 11/16/2013 at 10:38pm<b>454ss</b> - the 10/09/2013 at 7:28am<b>deckerge</b> - the 09/10/2013 at 6:42am<b>Broadway_Vayne</b> - the 08/15/2013 at 12:37pm<b>Careycaryn1997</b> - the 08/09/2013 at 11:52pm<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 08/09/2013 at 10:39am<b>merik225</b> - the 07/31/2013 at 10:16pm

cakecastle's FML badges

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of cakecastle's badges

cakecastle's favorite FMLs

Today, at the gym, my boobs were jiggling more than the girl next to me. This would be a good thing, if I wasn't a guy. FML

#20712866
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47872) - you deserved it (15441)

On 06/08/2013 at 12:42am - health - by random - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend of six days proposed to me. FML

#20708141
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80645) - you deserved it (11154)

On 06/05/2013 at 7:11pm - love - by The Clitshank Redemption (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I found my husband farting on my pillows, bare ass. His only words were, "This isn't what it looks like." FML

#20707362
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50979) - you deserved it (4688)

On 06/05/2013 at 11:08am - misc - by Thanks Honey (woman) - United States

Today, my brother looked me dead in the eyes and said his life goal is to find a way to jizz on everyone in the world. I'm scared. FML

#20703677
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55578) - you deserved it (5028)

On 06/03/2013 at 4:14pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Poland (Kujawsko-Pomorskie)

Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was "God forbid a maxed out Visa should get in the way of fucking." FML

#20698637
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65650) - you deserved it (18718)

On 06/01/2013 at 1:09am - intimacy - by Samprib (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old son covering my nose and mouth with his hand and complaining, "Noooo, you need to die now." FML

#20695159
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63076) - you deserved it (5066)

On 05/30/2013 at 12:29pm - kids - by life insurance for 1 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my in-laws came for dinner. My 5-year-old son chose that as the perfect time to say, "Good girls always swallow!" when my daughter coughed up some of her food. I have no idea where he heard it, but my mother-in-law blamed me, and my wife had to convince her not to call CPS on me. FML

#20689805
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44672) - you deserved it (3324)

On 05/27/2013 at 6:15pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I accidentally hit a cyclist with my car. In panic, I jumped out of my car and ran up to him, who was lying on the floor, motionless. As I was about to check his pulse, he jumped up and shouted, "I bet you thought I was dead, asshole!" He then punched me in the face and cycled off. FML

#20688904
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50729) - you deserved it (23564)

On 05/27/2013 at 7:19am - misc - by i hit a cyclist (man) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, for the fourth time this week, I witnessed my mother dancing around the house naked. Apparently, she is loosening up her "inner nudist" and isn't planning on stopping any time soon. FML

#20679387
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40550) - you deserved it (3257)

On 05/22/2013 at 6:56am - misc - by stillhave2years - United States

Today, I thought the public restroom I was in was empty, so I started rapping. I realized the room was not empty when, recognizing the song, the person one stall over joined in. FML

#20677562
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27193) - you deserved it (39392)

On 05/21/2013 at 11:01am - misc - by crappingrapping - United States

Today, my brother broke his mountain bike, so he stole mine, and managed to break it as well. Then he made some kind of franken-bike out of parts from both, and messed that one up too. FML

#20673285
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40994) - you deserved it (3373)

On 05/19/2013 at 3:56pm - misc - by jfc, how just how (man) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)

Today, I received a slip through my door saying that the package I'd ordered couldn't be delivered today because no-one was home to sign for it. I got the slip just in time to watch the guy who put it through my letterbox get in his van, look me in the eye and drive off. FML

#20670426
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46951) - you deserved it (3465)

On 05/18/2013 at 5:41am - misc - by JACKxRAWR (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I went to the dentist to get a tooth filled. The nurse just finished taking my info when the doctor came in and started drilling. Through my chorus of screams he realized he'd forgotten to numb me. His only response was, "Guess I forgot to numb ya, huh?" while giggling. FML

#20662624
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55971) - you deserved it (3972)

On 05/14/2013 at 8:03am - health - by toothache - United States (Illinois)

Today, I lost my patience and asked the deadbeat I loaned money to last year to please pay up. His response: "Blow me." No thanks, dad. FML

#20661189
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47071) - you deserved it (5280)

On 05/13/2013 at 5:17pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, while at the supermarket, a complete stranger ran up to me, got down on his knee and confessed his love for me. He was obviously mentally unstable, so I gently declined. He started crying very loudly in front of everyone. I still don't have a clue who he was. FML

#20654488
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45082) - you deserved it (4319)

On 05/10/2013 at 4:11pm - misc - by o___O" (woman) - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: