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caitlinbblack's FML badges
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
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caitlinbblack's favorite FMLs
Today, it's my only day off work in a while. I told my boss I'd be available via phone in case of emergencies. So far I've been called three times: To ask how the fax works, to let me know it's a slow day, and to ask me where the letter R is on a keyboard. FML
by Anonymous / 04/19/2013 at 6:17am / Germany (Berlin) / Work
Today, I posted a video of a dance I choreographed on Facebook. I got a notification a few hours later telling me that my grandpa had also shared it. His caption? "My granddaughter dances like a gay baboon and this dance sucks balls. Throw grapes at her." Thanks grandpa. FML
by thanks gramps / 04/19/2013 at 3:27am / Canada (Yukon Territory) / Miscellaneous
by lamelifeguard / 04/19/2013 at 1:07am / United States (Colorado) / Work
by Aaronator25 / 04/17/2013 at 12:07am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, my mother accused me of stealing pills; she looked all over my room and couldn't find them. When she went back to the pantry, she saw them on the shelf below where they were supposed to be. She then accused me of putting them there while she was searching my room. FML
by MyLifeSucks / 04/15/2013 at 6:11pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by wow / 04/15/2013 at 2:36pm / Russian Federation (Saint Petersburg City) / Love
Today, my boyfriend said he felt like eating icing. So I baked him cupcakes, put icing on them and decorated them. When I handed them to him, he picked off the decoration, licked the icing and handed the cupcake back to me, saying, "I told you that's all I wanted." FML
by Cupcakes / 04/15/2013 at 1:11am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, my sister went into a blind rage at me for "upstaging" her by announcing that I'm pregnant, two months after she did the same. My husband and I have been trying for two years. She's in high school and doesn't even know who the father is. FML
by bntje / 04/14/2013 at 4:39pm / Netherlands (Overijssel) / Miscellaneous
by mets300 / 04/13/2013 at 7:22am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by anyonmus / 04/11/2013 at 8:59pm / United States (Maryland) / Animals
Today, my boyfriend of 2 weeks said that he was going to cook me dinner. After waiting for the frozen pizza that he decided to make for me to be completely cooked, he said, "Oh I hate this part", reached into the oven with his bare hands and took out the pizza, all while screaming. He is 24. FML
by Anonymous / 04/11/2013 at 11:42am / United States / Miscellaneous
by flowerging / 04/11/2013 at 12:53am / United States (New York) / Love
Today, as I walked out of the local store, I noticed a young girl was sitting on the curb, crying. I nudged her with the Snickers bar I had bought earlier, thinking she needed it more than me. After looking at it, she yelled, "PEDOPHILE!", punched me in the balls, and then ran away screaming. FML
by Me / 04/10/2013 at 8:45pm / United States (California) / Kids
by iwassoclose / 04/10/2013 at 12:32pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, my mom started fundraising and selling things on ebay. At first I was happy because I thought she was finally going to help me pay my college tuition. Turns out she's planning on raising money to get our dog a new friend because she's "lonely". FML
by Witos / 04/10/2013 at 2:54am / United States (Arizona) / Money
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, I asked a customer to send me via e-mail the image he wanted me to print. He said, "I don't…