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caitlinbblack's FML badges
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
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caitlinbblack's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 12/25/2012 at 11:56pm / United States (Ohio) / Love
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I felt down, so I laid in bed and told my parents I needed some alone time. A couple of minutes later, one of them started blasting "All by Myself" so loud that I felt the floorboards vibrate. FML
by all by myself / 12/25/2012 at 12:00am / United States (Alaska) / Love
by Anonymous / 12/24/2012 at 2:44pm / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I was getting pretty horny, and I thought some dirty talk would turn him on. Amid my panting, I breathed the words, "Fuck me." He then stopped and said, "Excuse me, I don't like hearing that language." and wouldn't continue until I corrected myself. FML
by Anonymous / 12/24/2012 at 8:32am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by Saradee / 12/23/2012 at 11:55pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Kasey Eames / 12/23/2012 at 1:19am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, after sharing my first night in bed with my boyfriend, I woke up early, and decided to rouse him with some surprise oral. It didn't go so well; he woke up screaming and gasped, "OH MY GOD! I thought you were my cat!" before telling me to continue. FML
by anonymaiacciu / 12/21/2012 at 8:16pm / France / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend told me his Christmas gift to me was custom made. I told my parents in excitement, thinking it could possibly be a ring. Half an hour later he told me what it was; a molded dildo of his penis. It's going to be an awkward conversation with my parents when they ask what I got. FML
by djl / 12/20/2012 at 12:30am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy
by ToughTitties / 12/14/2012 at 8:45am / United Kingdom (Essex) / Intimacy
Today, I was getting intimate with my current bootycall when he thought it would be funny to make animal sounds. He "baa-ed" "moo-ed" and "gobbled" until losing his erection from intense laughter, leaving me there very confused and unsatisfied. FML
by Bug5992 / 12/09/2012 at 5:46pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
by anon / 12/08/2012 at 12:33am / United States / Intimacy
by Dontwaketheneighbors / 12/06/2012 at 9:24am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, after coming home from surgery, I discovered that the heating in my entire building had failed. I called my mom asking if I could come and stay with her for a few days. She told me to "think warm thoughts." FML
by lonelyandcold / 12/05/2012 at 6:27pm / United Kingdom (Solihull) / Money
by me. / 12/01/2012 at 9:54am / United States / Intimacy
Today, my girlfriend dared me to put on her bra and panties and give her a lap dance. Feeling spontaneous, I decided to do it. Just as I was getting really into it, she told me I was on webcam for all her friends. Apparently it was a contest of who had their boyfriend the most whipped. She won. FML
by Embarassed / 11/23/2012 at 1:14am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…