About cainightroad : Hi, I'm a gamer and a otaku so yeah...
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You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
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cainightroad's favorite FMLs
Today, my long-distance boyfriend arrived, took off my bra and told my boobs, "I missed you guys", then took off my panties and said, "Hey buddy" to my vagina before saying he missed me to my face. FML
by Hey_Buddy_ / 06/10/2015 at 11:38pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 06/04/2015 at 3:06am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I gave my girlfriend a hickey barely an inch from her vagina. She texted me later, saying her dad saw it and had grounded her. So yeah, I'm not sure I even want to know what the hell goes on in their house. FML
by W T F / 06/03/2015 at 3:22am / United States (Alabama) / Intimacy
Today, my dog was knocked unconscious. I had to race him to the vet and pay a small fortune for x-rays and shots. All because he ran into the kitchen at full speed and smashed headfirst into the refrigerator after hearing me open a bag of turkey. FML
by roadie42 / 05/24/2015 at 11:15pm / United States (Missouri) / Animals
by Vexatious / 05/22/2015 at 12:27pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 05/03/2015 at 3:42am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
by MiniJeans / 04/29/2015 at 10:25pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
Today, my mother was trying to have yet another "helpful" conversation about how to fix my anxiety. My sister's insightful comment? "I think your problem is that you need to get laid." My mom agreed with her. FML
by sexandanxiety / 04/29/2015 at 8:46pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 04/26/2015 at 3:09am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love
by Anonymous / 04/25/2015 at 1:32pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I was staying at my boyfriend's house while he was at work, and put on his pants to make some tea. As I took my hot tea and laptop upstairs, the pants slowly started to fall down. I had to keep climbing with my pants around my knees, and shuffle awkwardly past my boyfriend's father. FML
by Bullet4MyChemaMo / 04/24/2015 at 6:38pm / Ireland (Cork) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/24/2015 at 3:39pm / Ireland (Laois) / Intimacy
Today, I complimented a player in a game who protected my ass the whole match. As a joke, I told them to marry me. Turned out the person was a horny 40-something lesbian stalker who spent the next 5 hours sending me pictures and trying to find out where I live. FML
by Anonymous / 04/24/2015 at 12:27pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, I learned that, when you ask your girlfriend "Do you think we're having sex too often?" she might interpret it as, "I don't think we should have sex ever again," and entirely stop talking to you. FML
by Sexless from Texas / 04/24/2015 at 7:38am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 04/23/2015 at 9:16am / United States (New Jersey) / Love
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…