Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

cainightroad

Offline (21 hours ago) | Search for a member

cainightroad

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 18 April 1994 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1010
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About cainightroad : Hi, I'm a gamer and a otaku so yeah...

cainightroad's page activity

Visits<b>stephenseiber1</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 5:06pm<b>ironfey</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 7:29am<b>ChelseaGrin112</b> - the 01/31/2015 at 12:31am<b>__allie_rose__</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 10:34am<b>americanafrican</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 1:19pm<b>StoicCloud</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 10:16am<b>kingdomgirl123</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 1:25pm<b>macncheeze97</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 12:19am<b>jadeluv</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 6:52am<b>euphoricness</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 10:07pm<b>lisaint</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 4:02pm<b>poppunkette</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 2:49am<b>abattior</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 12:53am<b>babeybazooka</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 10:29pm<b>missblove</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 8:03am<b>sage_marie123</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 9:02pm<b>satanarroliga</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 7:04pm<b>YouHaveANiceButt</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 9:45am

Fucked!<b>__allie_rose__</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 4:34pm<b>stephenseiber1</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 10:06pm<b>macncheeze97</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 3:20pm

cainightroad's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of cainightroad's badges

cainightroad's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at a family gathering with my boyfriend. Jokingly, my grandmother swatted my butt to get me to move. Out of habit, I moaned quite loudly. FML

#21358985
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (119) - you deserved it (31515)

On 02/19/2015 at 12:45am - intimacy - by heymacie (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I took my boyfriend to a family dinner. Not an hour later, I walked in on my sister giving him a handjob in her room. And what's worse, my first reaction was just to wonder why he'd bother cheating on me for just a handjob. FML

#21358057
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39400) - you deserved it (3104)

On 02/17/2015 at 2:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. I'm extremely uncomfortable with eye contact, but he kept staring into my eyes the entire time. I had to sing the F.U.N. song from Spongebob in my head to stop myself having an anxiety attack. FML

#21356336
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36562) - you deserved it (5086)

On 02/14/2015 at 10:41pm - intimacy - by jessybear777 - United States (Missouri)

Today, I made my mom breakfast in bed for her birthday. She was naked when I went to give it to her. FML

#21354690
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29270) - you deserved it (5704)

On 02/12/2015 at 12:23pm - misc - by ahhhhhh (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, the CEO of my company leaned over and said, "Hey, I've been meaning to thank you…" I thought he was going to thank me for all of my hard work, but he continued, "…for wearing that shirt today. I can totally see your boobs." FML

#21354210
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33156) - you deserved it (6079)

On 02/11/2015 at 4:51pm - work - by titsmcgee (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, at a paintball match, my boyfriend shot me between the legs and asked, "Still want kids now?" FML

#21354035
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29207) - you deserved it (3214)

On 02/11/2015 at 11:11am - kids - by maybe? (woman) - Germany (Hamburg)

Today, I responded to an emergency call for an intoxicated 83-year-old man with chest pains. As I leaned forward to check his lung sounds, he groped my chest and said, "Nice rack". I just wanted to see if he had difficulty breathing. I don't even get paid for this, I'm a volunteer for the town. FML

#21353037
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30840) - you deserved it (2389)

On 02/09/2015 at 10:15pm - work - by EMTGirl'sLife - United States (New Jersey)

Today, it's been about a week since my boyfriend started his new medication, which has essentially killed any sex drive he had. It has also been about two weeks since I stopped mine, making me hornier than ever. FML

#21352626
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34329) - you deserved it (3511)

On 02/09/2015 at 8:32am - intimacy - by myself - United States

Today, my new boyfriend and I really wanted to have sex, but he went soft as soon as he entered me. This happens every time we try. I feel cursed by my year-long dry spell. FML

#21351173
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30820) - you deserved it (3428)

On 02/06/2015 at 9:32pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I can't decide what's worse: the fact that my mother found my vibrator or that, as a prank, she replaced it with a realistic tarantula replica. She won't tell me where it is. FML

#21351119
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26724) - you deserved it (4198)

On 02/06/2015 at 7:57pm - misc - by go fuck myself - United States (Florida)

Today, after telling my husband he can send me dirty texts any time, he sent me one from work. It said, "Babe when I get home, I'm gonna go 9/11 on your pussy ;)". I'm still not sure he understands why that was so offensive. FML

#21347069
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26775) - you deserved it (5124)

On 01/30/2015 at 11:04pm - intimacy - by The Soul Of A Damned Queef (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I realized why you should never wear a thong under yoga pants that are a couple of sizes too small. It's a weird thing, seeing your co-workers anus. FML

#21344664
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24752) - you deserved it (2745)

On 01/26/2015 at 6:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I found out that, due to the walls at my uni dorm being ridiculously thin, my entire flat overheard me lose my virginity. Spanking and all. FML

#21344108
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27686) - you deserved it (8356)

On 01/25/2015 at 5:10pm - intimacy - by Orgasmataz (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I noticed that my boyfriend's sister looks at my ass more than my boyfriend does. FML

#21343548
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27500) - you deserved it (3026)

On 01/24/2015 at 4:40pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, at dinner, my downstair's neighbors described how they can listen to most of my movements, including the buzz of my phone when I text late at night. I think all of us knew it is not my phone that vibrates at that time. FML

#21343273
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30527) - you deserved it (4651)

On 01/24/2015 at 2:57am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)



FML's blog

  • Essa's illustrated FML
  • Yesterday was labor day in the US. FML is international, and and specifically US-centric, but we still sat around doing nothing because we'll take any excuse to do anything. We'll endorse any national…

Friday 1 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: