Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

cainightroad

Offline (yesterday at 9:59pm) | Search for a member

cainightroad

3Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 18 April 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 899
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About cainightroad : Hi, I'm a gamer and a otaku so yeah...

cainightroad's page activity

Visits<b>ChelseaGrin112</b> - the 01/31/2015 at 12:31am<b>__allie_rose__</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 10:34am<b>stephenseiber1</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 4:52pm<b>ironfey</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 11:39pm<b>americanafrican</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 1:19pm<b>StoicCloud</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 10:16am<b>kingdomgirl123</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 1:25pm<b>macncheeze97</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 12:19am<b>jadeluv</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 6:52am<b>euphoricness</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 10:07pm<b>lisaint</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 4:02pm<b>poppunkette</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 2:49am<b>abattior</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 12:53am<b>babeybazooka</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 10:29pm<b>missblove</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 8:03am<b>sage_marie123</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 9:02pm<b>satanarroliga</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 7:04pm<b>YouHaveANiceButt</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 9:45am

Liked!<b>__allie_rose__</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 4:34pm<b>stephenseiber1</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 10:06pm<b>macncheeze97</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 3:20pm

cainightroad's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of cainightroad's badges

cainightroad's favorite FMLs

Today, I made my mom breakfast in bed for her birthday. She was naked when I went to give it to her. FML

#21354690
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29244) - you deserved it (5702)

On 02/12/2015 at 12:23pm - misc - by ahhhhhh (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, the CEO of my company leaned over and said, "Hey, I've been meaning to thank you…" I thought he was going to thank me for all of my hard work, but he continued, "…for wearing that shirt today. I can totally see your boobs." FML

#21354210
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33121) - you deserved it (6075)

On 02/11/2015 at 4:51pm - work - by titsmcgee (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, at a paintball match, my boyfriend shot me between the legs and asked, "Still want kids now?" FML

#21354035
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29153) - you deserved it (3208)

On 02/11/2015 at 11:11am - kids - by maybe? (woman) - Germany (Hamburg)

Today, I responded to an emergency call for an intoxicated 83-year-old man with chest pains. As I leaned forward to check his lung sounds, he groped my chest and said, "Nice rack". I just wanted to see if he had difficulty breathing. I don't even get paid for this, I'm a volunteer for the town. FML

#21353037
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30812) - you deserved it (2389)

On 02/09/2015 at 10:15pm - work - by EMTGirl'sLife - United States (New Jersey)

Today, it's been about a week since my boyfriend started his new medication, which has essentially killed any sex drive he had. It has also been about two weeks since I stopped mine, making me hornier than ever. FML

#21352626
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34052) - you deserved it (3498)

On 02/09/2015 at 8:32am - intimacy - by myself - United States

Today, my new boyfriend and I really wanted to have sex, but he went soft as soon as he entered me. This happens every time we try. I feel cursed by my year-long dry spell. FML

#21351173
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30587) - you deserved it (3405)

On 02/06/2015 at 9:32pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I can't decide what's worse: the fact that my mother found my vibrator or that, as a prank, she replaced it with a realistic tarantula replica. She won't tell me where it is. FML

#21351119
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26692) - you deserved it (4192)

On 02/06/2015 at 7:57pm - misc - by go fuck myself - United States (Florida)

Today, after telling my husband he can send me dirty texts any time, he sent me one from work. It said, "Babe when I get home, I'm gonna go 9/11 on your pussy ;)". I'm still not sure he understands why that was so offensive. FML

#21347069
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26612) - you deserved it (5112)

On 01/30/2015 at 11:04pm - intimacy - by The Soul Of A Damned Queef (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I realized why you should never wear a thong under yoga pants that are a couple of sizes too small. It's a weird thing, seeing your co-workers anus. FML

#21344664
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24720) - you deserved it (2744)

On 01/26/2015 at 6:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I found out that, due to the walls at my uni dorm being ridiculously thin, my entire flat overheard me lose my virginity. Spanking and all. FML

#21344108
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27483) - you deserved it (8322)

On 01/25/2015 at 5:10pm - intimacy - by Orgasmataz (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I noticed that my boyfriend's sister looks at my ass more than my boyfriend does. FML

#21343548
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27450) - you deserved it (3024)

On 01/24/2015 at 4:40pm - love - by whitebitch16 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, at dinner, my downstair's neighbors described how they can listen to most of my movements, including the buzz of my phone when I text late at night. I think all of us knew it is not my phone that vibrates at that time. FML

#21343273
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30375) - you deserved it (4633)

On 01/24/2015 at 2:57am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend was rushed to the hospital with anal tearing. We've never tried anal before, but it turns out she and my "best friend" sure have. FML

#21342800
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41763) - you deserved it (2517)

On 01/23/2015 at 9:58am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend in his car. We were in the front seat and I was on top. My ass hit the horn and scared my boyfriend so bad, he jumped, causing me to hit my head so hard that I swear I got a concussion. FML

#21341327
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28909) - you deserved it (10562)

On 01/20/2015 at 11:10pm - intimacy - by chelse_elyce - United States

Today, my mom paid me a surprise visit me at my university dorm. She ended up rifling through my stuff and started to pull out a box from on top of my wardrobe. Before I could stop her, it slipped and fell. Today's forecast: 100% chance of dildo rain. FML

#21338507
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31805) - you deserved it (4523)

On 01/16/2015 at 8:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: