About cadillacgal79 : Names Riley,
Sophomore, focusing on more drama, student council, and future business leaders of america extracurriculars
Majoring careers I would like: culinary chef or astronomer, if all else fails I'll be a mechanic like my dad.
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About cadillacgal79 : Names Riley,
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cadillacgal79's favorite FMLs
Today, after finally growing my curly hair down to shoulder length, I decided to get it styled for a dinner date. The stylist rolled up the barrel brush on my head and it got stuck. Hello, pixie cut. FML
by snipsnip / 07/15/2016 at 9:14pm / Miscellaneous
by CasperTheFriendlyGhost / 07/14/2016 at 1:11pm / United States (California) / Health
Today, it's been two weeks since I got married. It's also two weeks since my husband got cold feet about moving in together, because he thinks the sudden change would be too emotionally distressing for his cat. FML
by unimpressed bride / 11/22/2015 at 1:10am / United States (Michigan) / Love
Today, I got my laptop back after lending it to my friend. It wouldn't boot, and after investigating I found out it'd been stripped of its hard drive and all its memory. When I confronted my "friend", he accused me of lying and trying to ruin his reputation. FML
by Anonymous / 11/13/2015 at 1:07pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, after countless nights spent together and flirty texts, I decided ask my crush on a date while at a party. We went on a walk and held hands. Just as I asked him, he said no, let go of my hand and briskly walked away. He was my ride home. FML
by Anonymous / 11/06/2015 at 12:29am / United States (Wisconsin) / Love
Today, my girlfriend's mother insisted she's not homophobic, but however people only 'turn gay' because they were sexually abused, or are 'making it up to get attention'. She informed me I'm the former and my girlfriend is the latter. Uh huh. FML
by Queerbait / 11/05/2015 at 1:52am / Australia / Love
Today, I found out that aside from being savagely overworked and treated like shit for zero pay, another one of my responsibilities as an intern is to take the blame for my boss accidentally posting a link to a porn site on the company's Twitter account. FML
by Anonymous / 11/03/2015 at 12:54pm / United States / Work
by MedChew / 10/30/2015 at 1:01pm / Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur) / Health
Today, in class I was teaching 6 year olds about the difference between short and tall, and I asked them how they could see that I was shorter than the other teacher. One of them raised their hand and said it was because I'm fatter. FML
by lemonchips / 10/12/2015 at 5:28pm / Norway / Kids
by anon / 09/25/2015 at 12:43am / United States (Florida) / Love
by jack / 08/27/2015 at 6:56am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Health
Today, in the second week of August, hell has come to earth; my mom has been playing Christmas music all afternoon and is already searching online for decorations. I hope she buys a length of rope to go with them, because I've already given up on life. FML
by brbkillingmyself / 08/08/2015 at 6:52pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I went downstairs early in the morning to watch a movie. As I walked into the living room and reached for the light switch, I heard my dad say "Knew you'd change your mind. Get them panties off." followed by the sound of a zipper being undone. I've never been so mortified in my life. FML
by Anonymous / 07/15/2015 at 12:29pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Hollzbananza / 07/11/2015 at 10:30am / Australia / Intimacy
Today, my wife was in seemingly never-ending labor. It got so bad, I overheard a nurse in the doorway mutter to a coworker that she hoped my baby would just die or something, so she could finally go take a smoke break. FML
by Anonymous / 07/10/2015 at 9:23pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Kids
- Today, my hormones are so screwed, I popped a boner at the sight of two grasshoppers mating and had… Today, I got a call from my girlfriend of 13 months. She told me that she had gotten chlamydia from… Today, at my wedding, my husband stood up to give a speech. It started out beautiful, until he told…
- Today, I’m a trainee who recently arrived in a prestigious company. My boss walked in on me sorting… Today, a lady came for a death certificate at the city hall reception where I work. Reflexively, I… Today, I’m in Mexico for an internship. I was at a party when a drunk guy harangued me, calling me…