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caddie97

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caddie97

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  • Number of visits : 79
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caddie97's favorite FMLs

Today, my waiter turned to me and asked, "Let me guess, Miss I'm-not-fat-I'm-fluffy wants a diet coke?" FML

#19895683
342 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36181) - you deserved it (9029)

On 07/05/2012 at 3:10pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went to the dorm showers to use the facilities. As I was getting in the shower, I slipped and landed face first into a puddle. It wasn't water. FML

Today, my 18-year old son decided to run his hand over our wooden fence to try and get a splinter, as he "forgot what they felt like." Last month, he stabbed himself in the arm with a sewing needle because he "forgot what an injection feels like." I raised this idiot. FML

#19159270
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32192) - you deserved it (7765)

On 02/25/2012 at 6:25am - misc - by badmom (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, my mom told me to clean the house up because she wants to make good impression on the cleaning lady. FML

#18933049
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28004) - you deserved it (2631)

On 01/28/2012 at 11:19am - misc - by messyvictor (man) - United States (California)

Today, I came home to a furious wife and an answering machine message from a woman neither of us know claiming I got her pregnant. My wife won't believe she got the wrong number. FML

#18932189
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33463) - you deserved it (2616)

On 01/28/2012 at 8:40am - intimacy - by Innocent (man) -

Today, I just finished my first week of unemployment. I don't have any money. I also just finished the last toilet paper roll. FML

#18930707
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23500) - you deserved it (4460)

On 01/28/2012 at 12:58am - money - by INeedMoney - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while waiting outside a liquor store for my boyfriend, a drunk guy leaned over my shoulder, took a large bite out of my burger, and walked away. FML

#18913819
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27198) - you deserved it (3792)

On 01/26/2012 at 2:34am - misc - by RequilaRainbow - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I fell and sprained my ankle while trying to step into my underwear. FML

#18904758
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24834) - you deserved it (5918)

On 01/25/2012 at 1:32am - health - by ???? - United States

Today, an intoxicated homeless man tried to chase me out of a McDonald's because he thought I was President Obama. I'm a 26-year-old white woman. FML

#18892690
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29619) - you deserved it (2474)

On 01/23/2012 at 7:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I found out that the daily "vitamins" that my dad has been giving me for the last three months were actually weight loss pills. FML

#18876628
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28394) - you deserved it (6456)

On 01/22/2012 at 1:10am - health - by suckstobefat - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I saw a quarter in my poop. My friends say I do stupid things when I get drunk. Apparently, eating change is one of them. FML

#18500551
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8771) - you deserved it (32831)

On 12/13/2011 at 1:32am - health - by photomark - United States

Today, it's the last day of finals week. Unfortunately the only test I've passed this week is the pregnancy test I took during my lunch break in a Subway bathroom. FML

#18499980
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17161) - you deserved it (43655)

On 12/13/2011 at 12:16am - health - by LogicalMolly - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while pulling into my driveway, I slightly bumped into something. My wife. I'll be sleeping on the couch for a while. FML

#18474194
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23782) - you deserved it (18605)

On 12/10/2011 at 3:45am - intimacy - by godhatesme (man) - United States

Today, I had to jump into my car while it was still moving. Apparently, just because you put it in park and turn it off, doesn't mean it won't take off towards a ditch without warning. FML

#18473570
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19947) - you deserved it (7877)

On 12/10/2011 at 1:28am - misc - by CassieMarieee - United States (Texas)

Today, I was feeling super nervous about driving because I had my first accident the day before. As I stopped at a red light, I got rear-ended. FML

#18470751
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26331) - you deserved it (2223)

On 12/09/2011 at 7:23pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)



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