Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Offline (the 06/14/2014 at 9:04am) | Search for a member
About cactusprick : I like reading but I hate wasting time on books that ends shitty. Hi I'm Austin and I'm 16 years old. I am thankful for music and for FML for allowing me to see that it's not just me who is stricken with bad luck and bad news. You can reach me through the message on here; Have a nice day!
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, I was sitting on the couch, watching The Avengers with my 4-year-old daughter, who loves the Hulk. When Hulk finally showed up, she excitedly looked at me and screamed, "Hulk Smash" before slamming both of her fists into my balls. FML
Today, while sitting in a crowded waiting room at the doctor's office, my 5-year-old daughter pointed at my 6-year-old son's crotch and boomed, "MOM, WHY DOES ANDY HAVE A FINGER DOWN THERE?" to which he yelled, "IT'S CALLED A COCK!" FML
Today, I overheard my husband talking to our 6 year-old about animals for a project. I listened, thinking it was cute, until my husband said gleefully, "Remember to say this in your project: octopuses have 8 testicles." FML
Today, I was in a video chat with an old friend who I haven't talked to in years, and my mom walks in. The first thing she says is, "Did you close the toilet after you pooped? Cause today on the news I heard that your poop particles can fly up to 25 feet, landing on your toothbrush." FML
Friday 18 July 2014