About c4rpi0 : Hey! My name Is cristian and I love playing/watching basketball any time of the day. I also read a little bit on the side one of the greatest books I think is "The Fault in our Stars" by John Green. I'm currently still a student and have part time job I'm a pretty passive guy and have a whatever attitude on most things I just try to live and let live. Also I love this website one of my biggest goals is to get at least one FML published
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Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55211) - you deserved it (4754)
On 05/06/2013 at 2:29am - kids - by SkeetinKeaton (man) - United States
Today, I forgot to log out of my Facebook account before leaving for work. When I got back home, I discovered that my brother had gone through and commented "quack" on all my friend's duckfacing photos. She was not pleased. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24763) - you deserved it (28708)
On 04/13/2013 at 2:07pm - misc - by reallythough - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)
Today, I woke up with an engagement ring on my left hand. The same one I refused last month. My boyfriend apparently waited for me to be drunk to propose again last night, and has already posted the pics on Facebook. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30801) - you deserved it (10189)
On 12/28/2012 at 10:14am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, a girl mistook me for her boyfriend and broke up with me because I'm "a liar and a cheating bastard." I've never seen her in my life, but I'm so lonely that I tried to convince her to give me another chance and stay with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32014) - you deserved it (6004)
On 12/28/2012 at 12:24am - love - by Alone - United States
Today, after giving my husband a new video game that he's been wanting, along with homemade waffles and a surprise blowjob, he gave me my gift: two packets of ramen noodles, and toilet paper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33257) - you deserved it (3160)
On 12/26/2012 at 12:25pm - love - by annie_nk (woman) - United States (Utah)
Today, I opened my Christmas present from my parents. I got a road-side assistance package. I don't own a vehicle, and I don't even have a driver's license. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22889) - you deserved it (2189)
On 12/25/2012 at 1:41am - misc - by CambodianAsshole (man) - United States (California)
Today, as her parents were supposed to be out of town, I stayed over with my girlfriend, and we ended up in bed together. Later on, while poking through the fridge, I heard footsteps, so I said, "Didn't think you'd be walking after that." I closed the fridge and saw her dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34206) - you deserved it (16284)
On 12/24/2012 at 1:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)
Today, a woman at work was complaining about her weight. She looked pretty thin, so to make her feel better, I said that she looked small. She said "Well, you haven't seen me naked." For some reason, I replied, "Not that you know of." FML
I agree, your life sucks (11358) - you deserved it (24376)
On 12/24/2012 at 1:37am - work - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I took my child to the park. Having been there an hour, another mum came up to me and we started talking. She then told me that one kid had been harassing her children, pointing to my child. When she asked which one was mine I pointed to a random kid. It was hers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12224) - you deserved it (32632)
Today, I asked my girlfriend to marry me. She pretended not to hear me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42707) - you deserved it (3319)
On 12/22/2012 at 7:50am - love - by anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my house was broken into. The cop that came turned out to be a guy I fought over a girl with in high school. He sneered and said that everything appeared to be in order, and that I probably ransacked my own house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29044) - you deserved it (6630)
On 12/20/2012 at 6:19am - misc - by doblex (man) - United States
Today, my boyfriend of 6 years proposed to me. Less than 3 hours later, he panicked and made me give the ring back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33530) - you deserved it (3013)
On 12/19/2012 at 3:47pm - love - by mahanaaa_23 (woman) - United States (Hawaii)
Today, I was waiting in line to use the bathroom. I complained to the guy next to me about how long the lady was taking. I kept making jokes about it, but he never seemed to laugh. Finally, the door opened and out came a lady in a wheelchair. The guy next to me was her husband. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7155) - you deserved it (44525)
On 12/19/2012 at 12:12pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, in the middle of the night, I got up to go get some water. When I came back, I was going to flop onto my bed, but I faceplanted into my floor. I'd forgotten that I'd rearranged my room and moved my bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27106) - you deserved it (14051)
On 12/19/2012 at 12:07am - misc - by ayye_its_nikki - United States (Texas)
Today, I ate brunch at my in-laws. The food all tasted off to me so I didn't eat much, telling my mother-in-law I was watching my weight. Later on, while out doing a bit of shopping, I stopped at a red light. Guess who pulled up next to me while I was scarfing a fast food burger. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15815) - you deserved it (17826)
On 12/18/2012 at 5:02pm - misc - by drkate25 - United States (Connecticut)
Monday 20 May 2013
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