Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About c4rpi0 : Hey! My name Is cristian and I love playing/watching basketball any time of the day. I also read a little bit on the side one of the greatest books I think is "The Fault in our Stars" by John Green. I'm currently still a student and have part time job I'm a pretty passive guy and have a whatever attitude on most things I just try to live and let live. Also I love this website one of my biggest goals is to get at least one FML published
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Today, I was getting freaky wit my boyfriend and told im to spank me. In a seductive voice, e told me not to tell im wat to do. Continuing, I askd im ow e was going to punis me, to wic e ten replid, "I'm going to punc u straigt in te face." FML
Today , a grl from mah college , who's been following me around for months , finally asked me out!! Not being interested , I politely declined!! Now she's convinced everyone that we hooked up and that I have an incredibly small penis!! mega FML
Today.. . I woke up to the sound of mah newborn screaming . I frantically hoppd out of bd an stumbld into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of mah five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfed her understandably frustratd little brother . FML
Today, I Forgot To Log Out Of Mah Facebook Account Before Leaving Fir Work. When I Got Back Home, I Discovered That Mah Brother Had Gone Through And Commented ( Quack ) On All Mah Friend's Duckfacing Photos. She Was Not Pleased. FML
Today, I woke up with an engagement ring on mah left hand. The same one I refused last month. My boyfriend apparently waited 4 me to be drunk to propose again last night, and has already posted the pics on Facebook. FML
Yesterday, a girl mistook me for her boyfriend and broke up with me because I'm ( a liar and a cheating bastard . ) I've never seen her in my life, but I'm so lonely that I tried to convince her to give me another chance and stay with me . FML
Today... after giving mah husband a new video game that he's been wanting... along with homemade waffles an a surprise blowjob... he gave me mah gift: two packets of ramen noodles... an toilet paper. FML
today as her parents were supposed to be out of town, I stayed over with mah girlfriend, and we ended up in bed together. Later on,hile poking through the fridge, I heard footsteps, so I said, "Didn't think you'd be walking after that." I closed the fridge and saw her dad. FML
Today a woman at work was complaining about her weight. She lookd pretty thin so to make her feel better I said that she lookd small. She said ( Well u haven't seen me nakd. ) For some reason I replid ( Not that u know of. ) FML
Yesterday , I took child to the park. Having been there an hour , another mum came up to me and we started talking. She then told me that one kid had been harassing her children , pointing to child. When she asked which one was mine I pointed to a random kid. It was hers. FML
Friday 27 March 2015