bwenduh45

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bwenduh45

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 820
  • Number of comments : 34
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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bwenduh45's page activity

Visits<b>cyb3rbyte</b> - the 08/08/2016 at 2:58pm<b>Chibster</b> - the 06/20/2016 at 4:17pm<b>KyleRen</b> - the 06/15/2016 at 12:03am<b>squilliam214</b> - the 06/04/2016 at 1:16am<b>flyingflies</b> - the 04/07/2016 at 4:51pm<b>ArTic_CRIMSoN</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 10:57pm<b>IridianShadow</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 8:17pm<b>theswanlake</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 7:39am<b>ultimate41</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 6:36pm<b>Tthug</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 8:05pm<b>Wondermage</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 4:38am<b>analbeadlicker</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 2:41am<b>izkiz</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 2:28pm<b>EvilTurtle</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 12:44am<b>FlamingColor</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 8:00am<b>Spencyy</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 7:01pm<b>lolalove24</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 4:03pm<b>awesomesausage</b> - the 01/16/2015 at 10:29am

Fucked!<b>analbeadlicker</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 8:41am

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bwenduh45's favorite FMLs

Today, a kid came trick or treating to my house. When I told him Halloween was nearly two weeks ago, his reaction was to savagely kick me in the shin and run off screaming obscenities. This is the same kid who broke down in tears when I gave him candy on the real Halloween. FML

by Username / 11/11/2011 at 9:04pm / United States (Maryland) / Kids

Today, I was working the graveyard shift as a security guard. I fell asleep in my car doing paperwork around 2 am. When my supervisor came to check on me, he pounded on my window, wearing a "Scream" mask. I panicked and pepper sprayed him. Too bad my window was closed. FML

by copshop / 11/10/2011 at 6:40am / United States (California) / Work

Today, I apologized to the cat for walking into the laundry room while he was using the litter box. FML

by Anonymous / 09/13/2011 at 2:05am / United States (Tennessee) / Animals

Today, I noticed a young child wandering out onto a busy street. I managed to grab his arm just as he stepped off the sidewalk and yank him away from almost certain death. My reward was his mother, who was on her cell phone the whole time, screaming at me for touching her child. FML

by Anonymous / 08/31/2011 at 1:06pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I walked outside my house to find my father in nothing but his underwear, spraying ants with ant-killer, laughing like a maniac and screaming, "Die bitches! Die!" FML

by TuteSweet / 08/12/2011 at 2:17am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friends told me that they couldn't make it to my birthday dinner unless I changed the time, because I'd made dinner reservations that would clash with the new episode of Jersey Shore. FML

by Jim / 03/10/2011 at 1:09pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my Platoon Sergeant caught me unshaved, so now I have to write a 1000 word essay on "The importance of shaving." FML

by jacko / 08/15/2010 at 5:47am / Reserved / Work

Today, I went to Starbucks to use the bathroom. After I knocked on the door, and turned the handle, this little old lady rips the door open and goes "I WAS TAKING A DUMP. YOU WANNA COME IN AND WIPE MY SHIT? DO YOU?!" and then continued to ask me the same question for five minutes. FML

by bathroomblunder / 03/06/2010 at 9:38pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was driving past a farm that always has 4 chickens walking around outside. It always cheers me up to see them, but I couldn't find them. I wasn't watching the road so I didn't see when I ran over all 4 chickens. FML

by chickenlover / 08/27/2009 at 4:53pm / United States (Illinois) / Animals

Today, I finally told my mom I am a lesbian. She started laughing and said 'Good one honey'. I told her I wasn't joking, and she took my face in her hands and said 'You ARE joking!' Then she left. FML

by Anonymous / 08/12/2009 at 12:44am / United States (Kansas) / Intimacy

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. It was just me and her. Things began to get heated, and we started doing it on the living room couch. Near the end of it I decided to whisper in her ear, "Who's your daddy?" I hear behind me, "I am." FML

by unbelievable208 / 08/05/2009 at 1:28am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, my best friend who I have been secretly in love with forever, was ranting about her ex-girlfriend. Then she said : "If only you were gay, we'd be perfect for each other." So I took the chance to tell her I was. She responded : "Well I am still not attracted to you though." FML

by alone_forever / 03/04/2009 at 4:03pm / United States (Indiana) / Love